Garfield's Gluttony: Difference between revisions
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One sunny summer day I decided to take a walk around my town due to my enjoyment of going for walks. But as I walked past my local bank it exploded in a massive conflagration. Out of the flames strutted a chitinous robot that was at least 4 meters tall, as it strolled by me the robot stopped, looked down at me, handed me a DVD, grew a pair of wings and rocketed into the sky. I went home to watch my new DVD.
I kicked open my front door and cartwheeled over to my computer where I stuck the DVD into its mouth and slapped its head to play the DVD. In response my buff Orc computer screamed as his chest split open revealing a screen and keyboard. The DVD began to play showing a title screen called "
It opened with a still frame of a house taken from a house add, I knew this as the price tag was still visible. The house lacked a lawn as the lawn was actually a bunch of rats. The house itself was in pristine condition but was clearly full of ghosts. A mailman began walking up the steps, but it was clear he was green screened in as the house was still a still image. He placed a package on the door step and the vibrated out of existence.
The words "7 hours later
Inside John is confronted by a crudely drawn Garfield, neither of them have an actual walk cycle.
"John, may I have the lasagna.
"No, you wasteful sack of adipose, you have already feasted upon you weekly allowance of lasaga. I shall not grant you more.
"If I do not get the lesangna I shall explode.
"Then I will glue you back together using the dog again.
"No.
At this a heavily pixilated gif of a mushroom cloud appears in
"Garfield I must work, I will be back in soon.
"I need lasaga.
"This package is for me, John shall pay for his crimes.
The screen begins changing colors and distorting while sludge metal begins playing before everything explodes, implodes, explodes again then proceeds to cover the entire history of the universe and earth starting from the big bang and ending with the life of Jim Davis as he is drawing
It is
Then innumerable teeth burst from the earth surrounding the house as a gargantuan mouth devours the entire thing. The mouth morphs and is revealed to be
The Branches begin dragging the Garfield forward while several large, gangly arms begin grabbing fistfuls of dirt and stuffing them into his maw.
"Itt is pain, I wish for death but As an immortal BeINg I CAnnOt DYE!
"The Lasaga is my most precious nectar, I will break time and reality for it!
The
"No God is safe!
John, still T-posing, vibrates into existence.
"You have started the apocalypse because you have been deprived of your lasagna! I disown you cat!
"I shall have my LAsaga and I shall end Za Warudo for my precious nectoer!
The sky shatters like a glass ceiling as the vortex of blood rapidly begins increasing in size and covers the entire sky. The Garfield grows two long spindly legs and starts walking on them while it uses its arms to scoop the lasagna rain into its maw.
The
My focus is robbed from me as I look out the window to see
Annoyed I summoned my best yelling voice, pointed at the Garfield and shouted
"The Lasagna rejects you!
The wind picked up and the lasagna and tomato sauce began falling lighter and lighter until it stopped completely. The Garfield looked upon me in shock and horror.
"The LAsaga cannot reject me, I am it and it is me!
"The Lasagna does not care, it has rejected you!
The vortex of tomato sauce was split open as a gargantuan lasagna surrounded by burning wings and rings covered in eyes descended. It spoke in a deep billowing voice.
"True it be, You are forever banned from eating the lasaga by order of the lasaga goddess.
The Lasagna reached out and burned the Garfield on its head causing it to scream.
"NO GOD IS SAFE!
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[[Category:TELAVISHUN]]
[[Category:EVIL FOOD]]
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