Grand Theft Auto: Satandreas: Difference between revisions

Like normal, the black screen came up with the name of CJ's hometown in the lower right corner. Strangely, it took longer to load than usual, but it was a second-hand game, i brought it because my other one was like four years old and scratched to fuck. I then lost my annoyance as the game faded out in front of me. I looked to see what had become; everything i saw was glitched up, kinda like it did a few times before when the game hadn't loaded the ground textures fast enough. All i could see was the outside of CJ's house and a transparent cul-de-sac. I walked out into the nothingness to notice that a message popped up saying that i have to go to Sweet's house, i didn't find this at all weird because it was very early in the game and my next mission was Sweet's Girl, which required me to do the same. Although i normally just activate the health, weapons cheat and jat pack cheat a few times, i oddly decided that i would try and do a mission for once instead of fucking about. I walked around to his house rather normally, the sky at this point was rather normal until i had walked onto my homeboys grass that the sky had suddenly turned from daylight, to midnight. The clock had also been screwy, continously switching inbetween 15:00 to 89:00? WTF! 89:00! What is that supposed to mean? During the time, i hadn't been that alert by the goings on until this happened. I was starting to get rather confused, i continued my path into my bro's home when CJ randomly started twitching for no goddamn reason, i began to shout swears and (jokingly) racial slurs at the screen hoping that he would somehow hear me and get on with the game. But to my dissapointment-he kept on twitching about. I sat for a minute thinking whether i should turn the console off or not, but seeing as i am a fan of video game creepy pastas, i got to thinking that maybe something retardedly freaky was going to happen! I was now more interested in the glitches than anything else. Eventually after about 2 minutes, CJ had decided to stop acting like a fuckwad and go inside Sweet's house.

After ten minutes of sitting there confused out of my confusion (confusing?) i decided to carry on with my game and see what else Cwarl Dwonson would get up to, what i didn't expect was too see him outside of his homo's house. Everything seemed normal; although i swear that last time i checked reality CARS COULDN'T FLY! yes, that's right! fly. I wasn't too weirded out by this because there is a cheat i know of that lets you fly your car like a plane (although, the disc is too old and scratched for it too load quick enough, so it normally ended with the game freezing. Most likely because i flew so goddamn fast, that it didn't have time to do so) But since the cheat only ever works with the PC, i assumed that my game was now fucking around with the games cheat codes. Another thing i soon realised was that every person i saw would walk normally, until CJ went near them. They would then just stop and stare at me as if he is the last black guy in the universe. This obviously didn't pass me as a joyful scene as said pedestrians would begin to chase CJ everywhere, and try to kill him. I was fucking freaked out by this time, so i decided the only way he could escape the rapestabbing was to take to the skies with a jetpack; so after rushingly typing in the cheat code as fast as my fingers could mash them, it appeared and Carly began to fly upwards. Very soon, all the pedestrians were out of draw distance, i could no longer see them. Like most people would probably do at this time with a jetpack, i instantly flew CJ across the city and over the ocean, on his way to another island. What i really should have thought out at this point was how certain places where unallowing of CJ to enter them, so when he did exactly that; giss woot hippond? i lokked at the corner of the screen to see that my wanted rating was now at four fucking stars. !WTF! i screamed as i flew CJ lower and lower onto a building hoping to find a safe haven. Instead i found the exact opposite, CJ was now being chased by planes ON FOOT! (in case you didn't know, the air force only attack when your in a plane yourself, which is good) Maybe he should change his initials to JC, not only could he run across the ocean, he could return from the dead after the mother fuckers already shot him millions of times! The next part confused me more, all CJ did now was jump off the fucking rooftop and onto the ground. I saw that the game assumed CJ's real initials are SH, so it had a reason to send worse authorative shit at him! What would happen next though, is something i couldn't believe at first....or rather.....was too scared too believe.....

Yes, that's right! The glitches are back and scarier than ever before! This is may be starting to sound like i'm trying to advertise something but it's true. I have experienced some creepy shit today on, well, you know! And i am going to type up on my latest experience. So, enjoy and try not to laugh at what i share with you, even if it is somewhat silly (or retardedbraindead as some might put it). So, here we go. Raidenist: Hail The God of Thunder! 18:57, July 16, 2011 (UTC)

So here goes. I was driving down a road when ICarly Johnson was suddenly attacked by his enemy crew. Because of how unadjusted i was to the aiming of weaponry at the time, his car blew up. Because he no longer has a 'Car' i went with a jokingly calling him 'L Johnson' from that point on. Get it? GET IT? Just be thankful that his name wasn't CarfaggotCarbitch.

Now that CJ divided by zero, he had ascended further up the path. If it was a path. Turns out that he just gets warped into the middle of a dark green field. It isn't the night that is making it dark, it appears to be the shade of green. This long field kind of reminds me of the inside of the moon on Majora's Mask without a tree. In place of the tree was what i assume was a stupid joke. A giant picture was spread across the surface of a cubic wall. It looked very clear. This very image may be the one i saw over the horizon earlier. I thinking that none of this shit is a glitch, it is intended. A glitch wouldn't add an image of a....whatever it is. The wall was pretty big, i couldn't see it clear enough until CJ moved back a few metres. When it did clear out, the image seemed to resemble an image of a person (Not me, that's cliche) He was rather happy. Oh shit, i forgot to mention. This person was the most creepiest person i have ever seen in my entire life. It was like a mix between Michael Jackson, Brian Peppers, BEN and a sadistic painting. Jesus did it scare the crap out of me. It got worse when CJ ran up and touched it. The wall started to emit horrific screamign sounds. It resembled a little girlwoman screaming backwards. Scary as it was, it is just a game, it can't harm me! Especially if it's only hacked.

Now then, if the game wanted to try and best me at shit like this, it's got another thing coming. As a massive Zelda fan, i am used to fighting strategic boss battles. Because this was so much like Zelda now, i decided to use the weapon i used the most of last. I think it was the Grenade. As this reminded me of the Bombs of Zelda fame, maybe i should use them. I mean, what else would be good at destroying walls? AutisticAngry children? Maybe, but i am pretty low on them right now, and i doubt CJ is even responsible enough to hold a gun for few seconds, let alone a child.