Gummi Bears: Difference between revisions

Out of every 100 - Ah hell fuck it. I'm not going to have one of my wise guys tell you with their fancy fucking words and their fucked up bullshit. This time, I'ma gonna tell you myself. So here's the deal. My name is Sid Lemons (no I did not go on those fucking find people sites. I made it up. Why the hell should I tell you my real name?) and I've been a consumer of Life Savers Gummies since 1997 (I was born in 1992 mind you). Everyday, I would eat a single life saver, chew it up real good (except on Saturdays and special occasions. I'd eat the whole damn package. Literally). Yeah, I'm obsessed. So what? I love the taste. But especially that damn Wild Berries flavor. Yummy! I have been eating those ever since they came out.

 

 

The next few days, I started.. well um experimenting with them. I would stretch them, tear off their heads, and bite their cute fucking little arms and legs before devouring their entire bodies. It never occurred to me that I was violating my moral principles. While I was watching movies with my dad, I would show him a gummi bear and the next thing he saw would be a torn up one. He laughed along with me. Good times man, good times. But all good things... come to a fucking end. One day, I asked my mum for another bowl of gummi bears. This time, I found a deformed gummi bear. Two of them actually, but the second one is lost.

 

[[File:Deformed gummi bear.jpg|thumb|258px|You be best not to find a faceless one.]]

 

My polaroid camera is crap so I had to use my cell phone's camera and a flashlight. It might not look like much, but it had a deformed right ear. I ate it after taking the picture. It was damn good too. But yeah, after I ate it, I got severe ear pain on my left ear and would find my right ear sweating all day long. I would also hear what is known as tinnitus. Nothing serious right? It got worse. Voices. Voices telling me to cut my ear off, pierce it, do all sort of fucked up things to it. Hell, they're talking to me right now.

You might be wondering what's so scary about this shit? I'll tell you why. I found another one, buried at the bottom of the bowl. It was yellow, but it was missing a face. Remember I mentioned two deformed gummies? Yeah, this was it. Instead of gobbling this up, I intended to study it and take a picture in the morning so I just left it there. But damn it, it was the last one in the bowl. I had to taste it. So I started nibbling on its feet. Nothing bad right? But then, then I ate it's entire lower half! As I mentioned, I wanted to take a picture in the morning with sunlight so I didn't finish the rest. I regret this, no really. I went to sleep late but nothing bad happened. Or so I thought. When I went to bed, I heard what sounded like my closet door sliding. I inspected it, and it was indeed open. I don't remember opening it all and I don't recall anyone entering my room. So I walked up to it and reached out to close it and... and... I closed it. What? You thought a skeleton would pop out? So I went to sleep with a little superstitious paranoia and I dismissed the noises as demons, ghosts, boogiemen, shadow people, beks, etc. (did I forget to mention I have watched over 150 horror films without fear?) and went off to bed.

 

When I woke up the next morning, the gummi bear and the bowl with it was gone! I asked my dad what happened to it and he said he threw it away. Was I sad? You bet. Also, I had this terrible itch on my left arm in the morning. But that's not so bad and nothing bad was gonna happen right? Wrong. When I went outside to check the mailbox, I noticed something on the ground, slightly obscurred by random papers, paper ads, and this one fucked up message to a guy named Santa Claus (heh, I had to read it. Read of a lifetime! LOL).

So yeah, there was a severed ear. The blood was fresh. I also noticed a trail of blood that ended in the middle of the road. I called the cops, they came, they did forensics, and guess what, it turns out that someone's head had been decapitated by a fast moving car. 2 of them actually. A drunkard was lying on the ground, passed out when the car went over him. His face and ear were torn off, his neck was smashed, and his body cut in half. But the other half was never found. That's the weird thing. So yeah, they told me to stay inside while they investigated.

 

 

So here I am, dead and dying (actually just dead but you know what I mean). The curse of the deformed gummi bears is real and true. I just wish I had more time to... well you know, get acquainted with you. I am a faceless ghost after all. I'll be watching you in this nice comfy package among my cousins or in your damn sweet bowl lying at the bottom relaying my voice and my very soul to your thick little head, resting on your kitchen counter or table staring at you while you sleep. But especially in your big juicy mouth or on your hot fiery tongue you swearing fuck. I'll be waiting to caress your taste buds, tickling your throat until you bleed...

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