I Got a Strange Episode of Sesame Street Mailed to Me: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
I used to love Sesame Street when i was a mere fetus, much like everyone else. I used to tune into it every single time it was on, loving the all the characters and songs and whatnot, it was the peak of my childhood. Yes, those were the
However, my views on this simple show meant for young children would be completely shattered (alongside several other things) one fateful day when i got that
It was a nice Saturday afternoon; i was browsing twitter, harassing stupid teenagers for liking things i disapproved of. I was about to whip my meat out and go wham one out to whatever filth peaked my interest at that moment, but then the doorbell rang. I got up and went to my front door, opened it, got on the floor, walked the dinosaur, and said hello to the mailman.
I took the package off of his hands, signed some release form that i think was to absolve them of all responsibility if i got mailed a pipebomb, and went back inside to see what it was. I
I opened the package up and inside was a small piece of paper. On the piece of paper, there was some small writing that said:
{{email|
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I was tired, but all too curious to watch this tape and see what all the fuss was about. However, i
The first thing i saw when the tape started up, to my surprise and confusion, was the intro to Sesame Street. It was the one they use nowadays, meaning this
After the intro was done with, the episode started proper. There was no title card, only a jump-cut to a shot of the street. Elmo and Cookie Monster than walked on screen.
Elmo laughed and said
However, just as Elmo left, a figure emerged from the background and approached Cookie Monster. That
He had a mask on, was wearing a heavy black coat, some baggy brown pants that went down to his ankles, hiking boots, and gloves on; he looked like he was planning to go to Antartica. And his, voice, good god his voice. He spoke in a tone so gnarly that made me wince every time he opened his mouth. He then suddenly snatched poor Cookie Monster by the ass with one hand and covered his mouth with the other.
I was appalled when i heard those words, who the fuck would break into the set of a family-friendly show and violate one of the puppets dressed like the invisible man? The figure then unzipped his pants to reveal his girthy peenus weenus and shoved it inside Cookie Monster, making him scream
The horrible scene lasted exactly 3 minutes and 17 seconds. When the figure said
When he arrived in the middle of the street, he then shouted
What then happened next was a montage of him brutally murdering people while
At this point, i was at my
All of a sudden, a familiar voice called out behind the figure.
Grover mentioning hell? That might have shocked me when the tape started, but now it was pretty much par for the course at this point. Super Grover lunged at the masked man and began to brawl with him. I was certain Grover was going to die like all the others before him, but he managed to doge the
Before the masked man could kill Grover, a giant yellow feathered fist flew into the back of his head, sending him flying forwards. Big Bird helped Grover off of the ground, then looked straight at the murderer, with a fire in his eyes.
Super Grover and Big Bird then teamed up against the tyrannical masked man, and it went much better this time. Eventually, Big Bird got him in his grasp, and quickly put the figure in a position where he could powerbomb him. Big Bird then leapt as high into the air as he could (which was quite high, belive you me.), and with luck, they landed on the ground, seemingly killing the masked man.
And then a skeleton popped out, and all of
Big Bird looked over at the blast zone, his heart sank as he saw his favorite teddy bear, Radar, burning in the wreckage. At that moment, all of Big
Super Big Bird proceeded to lay into the skeleton with all of his newfound might, and he utterly demolished him. After a few minutes of fighting, Big Bird raised his hands up to the heavens. He said something spanish again, and then his hands began pulsating violently. He clenched his fists, held them close to his head, and then flew to the figure at mach speeds, gripping his right hand into the eye sockets on the
And with that, Big Bird floated downwards back to Sesame Street. However, just when he was about to touch down, he suddenly collapsed onto the concrete and life left his eyes right next to the
That body was me. I was skeleton.
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