I HAT U: Difference between revisions

This isn't one of those "Haunted Game" stories. It isn't even a horror story. I can't write for shit. At no point are you going to hear me claim something within the game spoke to me, reacted to my words, or forced me to punch myself repeatedly in the face. The only reason I punched myself repeatedly in the face was because I wrote this story.

 

 

No ghosts. No conspiracies(except the fact that's all this story is leading up to). Just a secret we were all supposed to find, but never did. Something that changes an entire generation's childhood and the very essence of a multi-million (billion? trillion? QUADRUPILLION?!?!) dollar franchise.

This is about what I assume to be a previously undiscovered alternate ending of Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo, not to be confused with Super Mario World on Xbox.

 

I also pirated media like a madman. Music, games, anything, such as that porn I just told you about.

 

 

 

For over a decade, the same Mario World ROM was my time-wasting hobby. (what is Metal Gear Solid? the only game I have ever played is Mario World) I played it over and over again, beating the game faster and faster, AND HARDER, AND HARDER, until I began to lazily explore the worlds with no particular purpose. Just like the life of anyone who only plays Mario.

 

What I saw was...

A KEY AND A KEYHOLE (GOD HAS COME TO REAP THE SINNERS)

 

 

It opened a new path.

There was a whirlpool next too Bowser's scary head thingy.

 

I went over to the drain.

"OH GOD NO"

 

 

inside the White Castle, it was just a straight line

P.S. all pics were taken with my nearest toaster

 

 

One, one Bling Boo. Two, two Bling Boos.

Until there were...

 

ONE. TWENTY ONE BOOOOOOOOOOS.

They just kind of hung there, hung like an elephant. They are completely useless and don't do anything. In fact the rest of this until the end is just filler shit. I SHOULD stop writing, but I'm gonna waste 20 more minutes worth of this you aint gettin back.

 

But something made me run away.

Now I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this map was designed specifically to screw with the player. Not because the giant "Bleeding Bill" was hemorrhaging profusely from its face, but because it was INESCAPABLE. mainly because I suck at this game.

 

 

And I really hope nobody is like me.

I let it chase me for the lolz, then I killed it. then I saw a message... IN BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD

 

 

It popped up again

cowabunga... COWAFUCKINGPIECEOFDOGSHIT! THIS GAME IS DIARRHEA COMING OUT OF MY DICK! THIS GAME IS AS APPEALING AS A FUCKINGOOZE INFESTED DIRTY FUCKING SEWER RAT SHIT! I'VE HAD MORE FUN PLAYING WITH DOG TURDS! SHREDDER'S MY ASS AND SPLINTER'S MY BALLS! THIS GAME IS AN INSIDE OUT ASSHOLE REGURGITATING PUTRID ANAL FECAL MATTER! I'D RATHER FUCKING YANK ALL THE HAIRS OUT MY SCROTOM! I'D RATHER DRINK DIARRHEA VOMITED OUT OF A BUFFALO'S ANUS! IT SUCKING FUCKS, IT FUCKING SUCKS, IT FUCKING BLOWS... and I don't like it.

 

 

BUT THEN MORE CAME OUT. THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT

These boos looked happy. Like they heard Final Fantasy VII is getting an HD remake.

 

 

I touched all the boos so they would die.

KILL THEM ALL. ALL MUST DIE. I AM THE LORD OF THE HARVEST. BRING IT DOWN. BRING IT DOWN.

 

 

These Thwomps seemed pretty successful, had a business and everything.

This was the hyperrealistic bluud that they had under them while they were smashing the ground in a random pattern.

 

 

I walked slowly, killing each one, saying "FUCK YOU" each time

I must be a sado-masochist, cuz I did that shizzle to kill all 30 of them. So after 2 weeks of that shit, I finally continued.

 

 

But it stopped being fun really fast.

This could only mean one thing. The blood on the Thwomps and all this was dead Marios. The unholy disasters that you sucking at playing has caused.

 

 

But then...

GET SPOOKED

 

 

There was also a mushroom powerup

But I didn't touch that shit. It's got makeup on.

 

 

I went in the door and saw blood lava (what?) and saw something spooky in the window

It might be hard to see it. It took me a while to see it.

 

 

Then Luigi said, sounding like Gilbert Gottfried:

It was all connecting

 

 

No matter how identical he is to Mario in skillset and ability and tenaciousness and girth, he is forced to cry and fap while Mario rescues the princess. Who wouldn't hate Mario. I know most of you hate him after Hotel Mario.

And this whole time Luigi was the real Bowser. Remember when I said there wasn't gonna be any conspiracies?

 

 

But while that happened Mario got up to his feet, but I was too busy clutching my Mario waifu pillow at the humanity to take pictures. But here's some pictures.

But after all this, Mario started to cry on the bridge. This is obviously part of the story. Oh wait Luigi is in the newer Mario games too. STILL TRUE.

 

 

Except the 2 end screens...

Before cutting to...

 

[[Category:Crappy ms paint drawings]]

[[Category:Blatant Ripoffs]]

[[Category:WHAT A TWIST!]]

[[Category:Cliche Madness]]

[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]

[[Category:Satire]]

[[Category:TPOTM]]

[[Category:Hall of Fame]]

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