I stilln hate you

As I woke up in my padded room, I saw the stuffed walls. I felt an itch on my chin as I went to scratch it, but then I remembered that I was in a straight jacket. The people here were informed of the incident that happened during Halloween of last year. The one where I was passing out candy to trick-or-treaters, and when a kid who was at least 10 years old, who was wearing a very high-quality costume of the dreaded plumber who betrayed the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom…Luigi.

As I stared at him, flashbacks of the moment where Luigi fell into the molten magma flashed in my mind. A vein bulged out of my forehead, and I started to sweat profusely as I clenched my fists with seething rage. The kid looked at me with his candy bucket in hand, my face growing red as I stared daggers at the little bastard. I pounced at the child, punching him as hard as I could, sending him flying a few feet like in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on Nintendo Switch. As he fell onto the pavement, I ran toward him and started to beat the absolute shit outta him, throwing haymakers at the boy in rapid succession. Parents and other onlookers ran over to pull me off, but I couldn’t be stopped now, I had to keep going. I had to avenge the Mushroom Kingdom and Mario for the treason that Luigi had committed.

The next thing I knew, I was being tased by a police officer, like I was Mario being shocked by an Amp from Mario 64. Then they picked me up, cuffed my wrists, and threw me in the squad car like I was baby Mario being taken by the Toadies to Bowser's castle from Yoshi’s Island, otherwise known as Mario World Two. I fucking hated that game too because I remember Luigi was in it. I remember being put in this damn jacket and thrown into a cell with soft padding, similar to the clouds that Lakitu’s ride on in Mario games, more specifically, like the ones in Super Mario World, which I hate the most because of what Luigi did…

*FLASHBACK END*

I said aloud to myself as I sat in my prison, my chin still itchy. Suddenly, the door that I didn’t even know existed flew open, and a nurse and a doctor wearing all green walked in. He had a bushy handlebar mustache and had an Italian accent. “Time for ya pills Carlos,” the doctor's nametag read Bowser, Doctor Bowser. He placed a hand on my face and made me open my mouth, dropping a few pills in. I could still feel my chin itching as I tilted my head down before looking at the nurse who was holding a small laptop in her dainty hands. Her nametag read Peach. Peach place the the device next to me as I was released from the straightjacket. Bowser opened it, revealing that damn game that has haunted me so…Super Mario World. It was opened to where I left off, at the cave that resembled the king of the Koopa's ugly mug. Blood poured down the sockets of where the eyes were, and Mario looked just as scared as last time. A whirlpool sat next to it. The title of the level didn’t read “Oh god no,” instead it read…

“Ready for round 2 Carlos?”

I was about to freak the fuck out if it weren’t for the medication that the doctor had given me. I scooted over to the thing as Peach and Bowser left the room. Pressing the enter key, I loaded it into the level and into that long dark hallway. I was too deep in now to give up, there must have been a reason why they were making me play this game again. I clenched my teeth in fear as I walked down the hallway, the events of the last time I played rushing through my mind. But as I kept going, the blind boos didn’t show up this time. And instead of the writing on the wall saying “I hate you,” it read, “Welcome back Carlos.” I felt a bit of a wet spot spread in my pants, but ignoring the piss, I pushed forward. The same Banzai Bill came from behind, blood protruding from his wide-open eyes, except this time, the blood wasn’t pixelated, it was hyper-realistic. Almost like the Omega Flowey boss fight from Undertale.

I ran as fast I Mario could go, an invincibility star coming toward me and as I grabbed it, the screen cut to static, and an image of Luigi came up. It read:

“You’re no longer my brother!” in angry red text that resembled blood. The fabric on Luigi’s hat and the hairs on Luigi's stache looked so real, that I could almost touch it. But as soon as it came, it left and sent me to the next room. I was now at that water level with all the Thwomps that were crushing the still-drowned corpses of the previous Marios that had failed to get through the area. I paid them no mind as I swam past, but suddenly, one of the Marios started to swim after me. ‘This wasn’t right,’ I thought. Why was there only one swimming after me instead of the plethora of them? Its eyes were hollowed out and empty, a trail of blood of blood following it, but the blood actually looked real. I pressed the D key on the keyboard as fast as I could until I finally made it to the pipe that would lead me out of this underwater hell. As the screen transitioned to the next, another image showed up. It was Bowser and Luigi looking at the screen with cheeky grins on their faces, like they had pulled off the crime of the century.

I walked up to the door that would lead me to the final showdown with the red plumber's brother. Next to it sat a mushroom power-up, it had big puffy lips that could give the sloppiest of head…

“Man, I’ve been pent up and unable to masturbate for a year…fuck it.”

20 MINUTES LATER...

After I had relieved myself, I continued on, going through the door and into the lava keep. There, Luigi and Bowser stood, the king running off the screen and to another area. Luigi turned to face Mario, angry at his brother. “You thought Koopa worked alone?” He said to his brother, Mario shocked and saying, “Oh god no!”

Luigi ran forward, jumping at his brother, but I moved the tubby Italian out of the way just in time. We fought for a good minute or two, and just when I thought I was going to succeed, the second banana of the series kicked his brother, making him fall on his round ass. Luigi said “Any last words?” Then, Mario powered up with a cape-feather and spun, throwing his brother into the lava. Blood-red text appeared above Mario that read, “Oh go no,” as his brother was consumed in the fire depths of whatever hell waited for him. The game, just like the last time, cut to black and then when it was supposed to go to the ending screen with a disgruntled-looking Mario, sad Peach, and burned Luigi, it instead was only burned Luigi.

The screen closed in on his face, showing the charred flesh that was displayed for all to see. “Where is your god now, Carlos?” And just like that, the laptop turned off and the room around me seemed to decay rapidly, revealing it was an abandoned Nintendo building. It has been abandoned by Nintendo. I started at the screen, wondering what the H E double hockey sticks had been going on all this time. I then noticed that in the reflection of the now black screen, there stood someone tall and green in the corner of the room, he had a fluffy black mustache and wore blue overalls over a green shirt. A hat placed atop his head, an L embroidered onto it pierced my soul as I realized who it was. It was Luigi…

“Luigi?” I said turning around, staring at him. He smiled at me, his with a devious expression.

“I stilln hate you!” He said running toward me with the loud shriek that came from Sonic.exe. My chin was no longer itchy, and my body went numb as one of the plumber's big gloved hands went straight through my chest. The piss was still warm in my pants from earlier, and as I lay there, dying, Luigi said to me.

“YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME HELP YOU EARLIER WHEN YOU SAW THAT BAD BITCH OF A MUSHROOM!”

THE END?

Comments • 0

Loading comments...