Jason Fourkeys: Difference between revisions

<p class="MsoNormal">Jason Fourkeys obtained his legendary name and persona from one day stealing a set of keys off me that went to my car, my basement, my television, and my legendary porn archives.  He always targeted people with four keys on their keychain.  He doesn’tdoesn't use the keys to access the doors, no, what he does is even more brilliant than what the keys were originally used for.  He collects pairs of four keys, and lays them across four pieces of wood in my back yard and violently dick slaps each one of them.  This is the most intelligent thing I have ever bared witness to.  Nobody will ever want their keys again after witnessing such unmatchable intellect.</p>