MechWarrior Online: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
Hello,
Anyway, I would always look for updates about Mechwarrior games or just porn of hot stompy robots with dongers and boobers, recently I have found an online game based on MechWarrior called MechWarrior Living Legends, which was shitty and completely ruined my fetish for giant metal cans with legs so I threw it in the garbage. However I did found out about yet another game based off the franchise… MechWarrior Online.
At first it seemed another failure like Living Legends, but after watching some videos about it, my mind was blown, it looked like what any hardcore lunatic MechWarrior fan would have, so me being the bright boy I am, decided to buy it off Ebay before realizing I could just download it for free, I shouldn't have sniffed crack naked earlier that day, who knows if I couldnt have gotten some dangerous cursed Pokemon game for my collection but whatever I
After satisfying my rage, I let the thing search for a server. And it kept searching… And searching… And searching… And searching… And searching… Until I got into a server, I was on the red team which consisted of two lances, the people in the first lance were me, also known as Mekfapper69, Satan, Zalgo and Hitler while the second lance had Trump, Bin Laden, Snoop Dogg and Bootman Bill. This was weird as I was expecting peoples names to sound more like I_Fartd_in_ur_face or B00bs4thewin as I learned from my previous experiences playing multiplayer games, however these names just looked too normal. But it got even weirder when I went to see who was on the blue team, the first lance had Jesus, Buddha, Shiva and Moses and the second lance had Obama, Zack, A Potato, and… What was the name again? Muhutahar I believe. What a stupid name. I could see the chat on the left in bold bloody bright blood hyper realistic red letters, it went as follows.
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Zalgo (To team): Wtfing motrfuker who tf is this??!
Satan (To team): Quiet! We have a job to do, I
Hitler (To team): 999
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Bin Laden (To all): Alahu Akbar
Satan (To team): Mekfapper69? Must be replacing Stalin,
Jesus (To all): Get set to get rekt!
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"Bin Laden has dieded"
That made me shit myself, I
Zack (To all):
Bootman Bill (To all): Die you manchild!
[[File:Mwosatan.png|thumb|220x220px|Satan's smexy mech]]
The message "Zack has dieded." appeared followed by a grown
Obama (To all): No violence gentlemen, we can settle this by dialogue.
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Trump (To all): To Mexico with your dialogue!
"Obama has dieded." I could feel this was escalating more quickly than that time I smoke crystal meth and jumped off my apartment building thinking I was Superman, that and I voted for Trump. I
Moses (To all): Dats sum good shit
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Zalgo (To team): F ing n00bs we got tis in t bag!
I swore Moses sounded more like Snoop
"Bootman Bill has dieded"
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"Zalgo has dieded"
We were now at a disadvantage, 3 to 5, except this guy counted as the entire team, I thought about cutting my wrists and commiting suicide to escape my fate as I felt the crosshair of the evil Swagtahar lock on me, I typed "Aaaaah" on the chat before Hitler knocked me out of the way cursing German words which made me pull out my google translate and got the thing translated to "Stalin took my virginity with a lamp post." At that moment I thought how
Satan went against the Sexytahar and fired his particle cannon but it was fake so it
Badasstahar jump jetted behind Satan and almost finished him there, only that Hitler shot him in the bum and that made Dongtahar shoot him instead. Hitler gave out a "Heil Hitler" before exploding into tiny Hitler fragments.
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Satan (To team): Gotta go fast!
He typed while his mech ran turning into every color in the universe and dubstep played in the background, I followed closely as fast as I could until we got to our final destination and when we did we saw… We saw something shocking, something so terrifying that even Satan himself shat in place, we saw Moses gargling
Satan (To all): The power of Christ compelled me! Its all up to you newby!
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"Jesus has dieded."
After that the score screen appeared and everyone except for me had dead written in big bold red hyper realistic tomato sauce letters, oh that and that I had gotten 20 million xp and c-bills which meant that I had literally beaten an MMO. I was so proud of myself that I got nekid and started making out with my window as my next door neighbors watched before throwing a shoe at me. After that I got a message from Piranha Games saying that they were having server maintenance and they
I am now in Hell serving Satan and being his sex toy while Jesus is still having dirty fun with Buddha, Shiva and Moses.
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