MechWarrior Online: Difference between revisions
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Hello, I'm a big fan of the Battletech franchise, specially the MechWarrior games, I always loved the feeling of riding a giant robot and murdering people, I have every game from the original MechWarrior game for the DOS up to MechWarrior 4 Mercenaries, yes, even the abortions known as MechAssault and their sequels but I still got them because they are Battletech games so fuck you. The walls of my room are completely filled with posters of robot porn, anyone that would come inside would probably just scream bloody murder or call an exorcist but I didn't care, I even have the games encased in glass on my shelf so no filthy hands can touch them, these games are as sacred as the Bible and if you don't follow the religion of MechWarrior then obviously you must die.
Anyway, I would always look for updates about Mechwarrior games or just porn of hot stompy robots with dongers and boobers, recently I have found an online game based on MechWarrior called MechWarrior Living Legends, which was shitty and completely ruined my fetish for giant metal cans with legs so I threw it in the garbage. However I did found out about yet another game based off the
At first it seemed another failure like Living Legends, but after watching some videos about it, my mind was blown, it looked like what any hardcore lunatic MechWarrior fan would have, so me being the bright boy I am, decided to buy it off Ebay before realizing I could just download it for free, I shouldn't have sniffed crack naked earlier that day, who knows if I couldnt have gotten some dangerous cursed Pokemon game for my collection but whatever I couldn't wait to pilot the sexiest robot mech to ever exist in the history of the universe, the Mad Cat, the biggest pussy ever. I immediately went into the mech bay and got my Mad Cat, which was actually classified as a Timber Wolf, how dare Piranha Games do this to me!? Using the original shitty name for my big pussy. I got so enraged I started yelling curses so loud my neighbors could swear that I was assassinating someone, indeed I was, my pet bird was a prime target as I slapped him hard and cooked him for dinner.
After satisfying my rage, I let the thing search for a server. And it kept
Zalgo (To team): Wtfing motrfuker who tf is this??!
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Satan (To team): Gotta go fast!
He typed while his mech ran turning into every color in the universe and dubstep played in the background, I followed closely as fast as I could until we got to our final destination and when we did we
Satan (To all): The power of Christ compelled me! Its all up to you newby!
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"Jesus has dieded."
After that the score screen appeared and everyone except for me had dead written in big bold red hyper realistic tomato sauce letters, oh that and that I had gotten 20 million xp and c-bills which meant that I had literally beaten an MMO. I was so proud of myself that I got nekid and started making out with my window as my next door neighbors watched before throwing a shoe at me. After that I got a message from Piranha Games saying that they were having server maintenance and they wouldn't be available for
I am now in Hell serving Satan and being his sex toy while Jesus is still having dirty fun with Buddha, Shiva and Moses.
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