Minecraft AI Conspiracy: Difference between revisions
m
Text replacement - "’" to "'"
m (Text replacement - "”" to """) |
m (Text replacement - "’" to "'") |
||
Line 1:
[[File:IDGAFLOLUPDATERSLOL.png|thumb|220x220px|EHMAHGERD UNRELATED EPIC FORSHADOWING LOL.]]
When I was nine years old, the things I loved most in life were Shrek and of course, Legos. So when Minecraft was released, it was like a wet dream come true. Well for me any way, my parents were probably shitting themselves each time a different version of the game was released, as I would always ask them to buy it. EVEN if I
But everything changed in the Summer of 2015. I was only thirteen years old. SkyDoesMinecraft was my idol. Minecraft was getting pretty shit. But I was too much of a hipster to care. It was that fateful day when the zombie apocalypse occurred. Nobody saw it coming.
Now, twenty years later at the age of thirty three, with my parents dead, I will tell you how this dreaded event occurred. It all started when Notch sold Minecraft to Microsoft, and Microsoft being the power hungry corporate whores they are decided to uze de gaem for the evilz! "WHAT A TWIST!" as M Night Shyamalan would probably say. But it
On January 18<sup>th</sup> 2015 I was watching anime on some shitty site that I will not name here. The anime was called Junjou Romantica. It Is The Best Anime EvArZzZz! (Even for a male like me). It was half way through one episode where Usame was banging Misaki when I decided "Fuck this,
"Bonsai, Buddy
My dad walked into his office. (I
"WHO THE FUCK DREW THIS PHALLUS?!" I heard a loud cry came from his room. Oh shit, I had been found out.
Line 24:
bonzaiboodi command and ended up right in front of me just as my dad was about to beat me, and massacred my father.
"As
I was let out, and my mum let me live at home again, which I
This is where the real story begins.
Line 32:
March 19<sup>th</sup> 2015.
I was on my computer, and I decided to see how much more shit Minecraft had become. I then saw that in September of 2014 Notch had sold Minceraft to Miscrosoft. So
Minecraft 4.2.0.
The update was released today, I searched it up online, but
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Vqrrs Gdzj (Still not quite sure what this means. Could be something to do with Caesar Salad…)
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Something that I
+ Added Herobrine
Line 54:
Wait wut? ADDED H-H-H-H-HEROBRINE!?
This concept was unfathomable to my brain, and still is. My life flashed before my eyes. I managed to pull myself together and call it bullshit. I clicked the grey
Fook yus!
When the game finally loaded, I accidentally clicked on '
‘Irxu Wzhqwb Dlchq IJW X ZRW PHLJKW?
Wow, these game developers must have had their fair share of Caesar salad. (Or maybe they were just really fucking high, I
I looked to see how many players were online. There were 2 out of 420 players.
The server icon was a bludd red heroine with his whit eyze
"DaEtOn LiKeS CoK."
So, who was this mysterious
I should mention at this point the graphics were EXTREMELY realistic. Almost HYPER realistic. Were Microsoft turning this game into an MMO? Who is Daeton? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!
No, this SRS BSNS! I
I clicked on the server and went on it. The two other players online were
Then it all came back to me, the events of the Autumn of 11 came flooding back to me.
''‘Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
BUT WAIT.
Why would the game know about my personal experience that happened when I was only nine? This
As I started to run away, I was teleported to a dark room, there I saw the two other players on the server. We just stood and staird at eachova 4 aboot 69.9 seconds.
Line 96:
But then, something happened that turned my shit in to putrid diarrhoea.
‘Madara_Uchiha joined the server?
WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?11//1/11//11/1//1/11/
Line 102:
Then, Madara apperd in front of us but then, the plot thickend!
"All part of my plan!" a booming voice was heared! But it
A figure started to appear next to Madara.
Line 110:
HoRy ShEeT.
It was then that I had a flashback. I
As soon as I thought about that horrifying memory, Bill GAYtes said something that shook me to my core.
"Ur nan was 360 qwick scopd!" Everything was starting to come together now, the reason why Shrek assaulted me in my own home at the old age of 9, why my dad
My
Line 136:
Contract
Somehow all these events were connected with this ‘Minecrack 4.2.
Was Usame from Junjou Romantica connected with this?
Line 142:
Were JR, TWLGHT and medieval history somehow interconnected with this mess of a tragedy?
I still
Then, the world closed.
Line 148:
"Well that was anticlimactic as fuck I said" "as I eye shoot ov da gaem an wenet to bead.
I had a strange dream that night, a Really strange dream. And
I was trolling some random guy on minecraft, and he sent me a video. I clicked on the link, and was sent to a video page. It was then that I finally got some answers.
Line 154:
The title of the video was:
‘DAETON LIKES
Everything was finally answered in this video, this one second video that changed me in so many ways, physically, mentally, spiritually, and even, sexually. It felt like I had just had the greatest sex ever. (I kno wut
It was 7:30AM and time to get redy 4 skewl. I waked to skewl and noticed that the gates were barren, nobodee waz der. Seeing this, I went home to find my mum on her computer and asked her politely what in the actual fuck was going on.
Line 162:
She answered with:
‘GET THE FOOK BAK 2
"Watch the video…" He whispered to me, his warm breath, a nice difference to the cold air giving me the wierdist boner. Yup, he was DEFINITELY gay. It TOTALLY was not me who was gay, TOTALLY NOT.
Line 170:
I watched it, and after it had finished playing, I noticed the room went a pale white. Static was everywhere, along with the surreally, spontaneous, orgasmic appearance of the super special awesome super sexy HyPaR rEaLiStIc BlUuD (on the dance floor, god that band gives me a boner, STILL.DEFINITELY.NOT.GAY.)
Herobrine appeared before me, I
"I am a figment of teenage girl who had just seen Justin Bieber. Then Herobrine spoke.
"I am a figment of your imagination, Bill Ciates drugged your tea. You must save Minecraft and mah bae Steev" I just KNEW those two had a thing, KNEW. It was then that I felt a twinge of pride at the fanfiction I had writer aboot Herobrine x Steve. It was also at that moment, I realised my true purpose, it was to save the world of some online game everyone will forget about in a few years time. But I just HAD to do it, for Herobrine, for SkyDoesMinecraft, for Steev, for PoopLooser69, for Gaylord_Steambath. For EVERYONE. Just like in dat song from Belch wer Ichigo Kurosaki gets called a
I woke up, I was no longer in my house, I was outside a craply build green pyramid.
"Illuminati Confirmed!" I shouted out. Oh God how I wish I
[[File:Screenshottotallynotfotoshopped.png|thumb|272x272px|Thiz waz teh screen shawt, yez I took 1. I have no idea hoe my cumpooter savd eet. Eet stil givs me nitmares.]]
Line 184:
A triangle with a top hat popped out from the behind of the murky gren pyramyid.
Absolutely nothing bad happened, it just gave me explosive diarrhoea that
Were my parents in the Illuminati?
I
I was then taken to the dark room agen. A thought hit me. Did I leave the midget porn open? No, that
Bill Gates and Madara appeared in front of me.
Line 202:
Did they not realise they were talking about their personal matters in front of someone?
"
"Ur smexy so your will stay aliev. Say hero 2 mai new bf." Someone floated in.
Line 210:
[[File:DDD.png|thumb|258x258px|Akihiko Swaggy Usame]]
"But
"I only did that so I could win my fucking Oscar." I knew he was telling the truth, even doh anime characters
Then all of a sudden the smell of weed could be smelt in the air. I was starting to remember that song, the song that made me so hard.
Line 220:
"OMFG Schnoop! Iz da weedz on da sho realz?" Madara asked. My eyes met snoops, my eyes seemed to zoom in on his face as saddening yet epic music played. About 10 seconds later, he simply explained:
‘No!
He the shot a lazer from his mouth and managed to krill
Line 239:
The zombies are all dead, but not before all having a massive gang bang with each other. I am the last human alive in this country.
The illuminati have taken over, and Shrek, oh Shrek,
SkyDoesMinecraft is still my idol, even though he and Pewdiepie came out as the rulers of the Illuminati, and they caused all this shit to happen. I still love them.
Line 245:
As I write this, I am near death dew to lack of sweg. This is the last time I will ever be alive. Evar.
{{centerdash}}
|