My friend likes Heat Man: Difference between revisions

He talks about him all the time. All of his online accounts have something to do with him. Even his Just Dance 2021 'Dancer Card' is named Heat Man. All my other friends assume he's joking, just exaggerating his appreciation for the character, which he could be, but anytime I'm near him there's never a kidding feeling…deepfeeling...deep in his eyes, he looks dead serious. It's not like I don't have favorite characters, Blue Shrimp Alpaca from Super Emo Alpaca is my homie, but my friend, he's…s...''DEVOTED.'' He, who i'll call 15, due to Heat Man's number being DWN-015, practically, no, not even, he ''does'' worship Heat Man like a god. It's basically a religion.

One day, I went to 15's house to get a CD i left there. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I walked in to the unlocked house anyway. Im a good friend. I looked for the CD, which by the way was a Blind Guardian album, but couldn't find it. Then i did. It was on a shelf in the hallway, near his room. I grabbed the disk and was about to leave, but noticed the bedroom door was cracked open. Curious, and being a nosey bitch, i…lookedi...looked inside.

The room was dim, lit only by a small lamp on the nightstand. Through the soft yellow light, i saw…Heatsaw...Heat Man memorabilia EVERYWHERE. There were posters, photos, a figure, zippos, just…Heatjust...Heat Man, everywhere. Even a dakimakura and handmade plushie, which I could tell were covered in white stuff. Aka, semen. On a table was a piece of paper that read "Summoning Heat Man plan". I reeled back a bit before i heard the door open. 15 ran in the house and quickly closed the bedroom door. "Oh, that? It's nothing. I just like Heat Man a lot. You're telling me you don't have a daki of your waifu?" he told me. He's right, i do have a Waluigi dakimakura in my closet. I asked about the paper, and he said "Oh, that's a joke. It's just a joke! Heheh." I laughed, nervously, and left. Oh lordy.

This is the next day. I went to my friends house again, to ask him what the hell happened, but he wasnt home. So i broke in again. Silly me. I broke into his room, and stole a few valuables but im not a home invader i swear. I saw the pentagram on the floor still there, a few posters and knick knacks were out of place, and the window was cracked. I was just about to make my escape with my stolen stuff, when i heard noises coming from the closet. Like…muffledLike...muffled mumbling and shuffling. I reasonably thought, 'hey, theres either 15 or a kidnapped person in that closet, im gonna check it out.' so i did. I slowly opened the closet door, before i was greeting with ''HEAT MAN IN THE FLESH.'' Yes, 15 literally performed a séance and summoned Heat Man. I knew the summoning heat man plan wasn't a joke. But he was tied up with a gag over his mouth. Kinky. He looked terrified and was crying. I randomly yelled the Law & Order: SVU {{*}}dun dun* noise. I grabbed him and held him under my arm like a football, damn he was heavy. Fat fuck. I was about to leave when 15 suddenly flung himself through the window. He was covered in blood, duh, because he just broke through a glass window, and he looked demented as fuck. His eyes were dilated and looked like he hasn't slept in days (which to be honest, is probably true, hes probably too busy jerking off to fictional robots) and he had a crazed smile. "WHAT'S WRONG?" He said. "I JUST REALLY LIKE HEAT MAN A LOT!"