My sperm tried to kill me: Difference between revisions
m
→top: replaced: … → ... (5)
Thermometer (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{NSFW}} Until a month ago, my life was perfect. I was a regular dude bro who banged pussy (and more) left and right. I had no problems and a bitch certainly wasn’t one. Bu...") |
m (→top: replaced: … → ... (5)) |
||
(2 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) | |||
Line 1:
{{NSFW}}
Until a month ago, my life was perfect. I was a regular dude bro who banged pussy (and more) left and right. I had no problems and a bitch certainly
I approached her, threw the usual lines at her and she and I ended up going to my place. What followed was a night of hot hot HOT sex. For someone who looked so innocent, she was pretty freaky in the sack. The next morning, she woke me up with a kiss. This is when I usually tell bitches to get lost, but she was so malleable and clearly wanted to please me. I decided to keep her around for a whole so I could get a few more fucks out of her. I caressed her face and kissed her back.
She told me her name was Priscilla and she was from a really small town in the mid west. She told me I was the second guy she had ever slept with. An almost virgin. Nice. I told her I was going to take her out on a date the next day. She seemed excited. It was kinda cute. I took her to a nice restaurant for dinner the following night. This was of course followed by taking her to my place and banging the hell out of her. This time I explored
Priscilla got up and walked towards me, grabbed my forearm and with a serious look on her face asked
She opened her eyes and told me that soon, I would be begging her for a second chance. I just scoffed and walked out. She really was crazy. That night I decided to just watch some porn and relax after a long day. After I had blown my load into my cum sock, I just tossed it beside the couch to be picked up later. I was looking through my texts etc when heard a shuffling noise. At first I thought it came from the apartment next door, but as it got louder I realized that it was right next to the couch. My cum sock was moving.
I thought maybe a mouse had gotten into it. I was about to grab it when it wiggled away with surprising quickness. The sock reached a wall and began crawling vertically. It moved awkwardly but with remarkable speed. I remember thinking this
Something began to crawl out of it. It was grayish white and had no limbs, just a bulbous head and a tail. I realized, with mounting horror that I was looking at sperm. My own, enlarged sperm. A whole bunch of them began to pour out of the sock. And they were all leaping towards me! Using their tail for leverage, they jumped at me as if they could see/sense that I was there. One of them hit me in the face.
I think it must have taken about an hour for me to get all of them. There were 32, I counted. I sat on the floor panting, wondering what the hell had just happened. I got up and began to examine the sperm corpses. They were starting to melt into puddles of what looked like cum. Just regular old jizz. Sure
I finally got in bed, exhausted. I suddenly remembered what had happened earlier. The things Priscilla had said to me, that weird chanting she had done. Is that what caused all of this? Did that bitch put some kind of spell or hex on me? What I had experienced was crazy, but now as I lay in bed I began to wonder if it was even real. I decided to Google what I had just experienced, but the search results showed nothing but some weird porn. It could be that I was exhausted and had just hallucinated the whole thing. I decided to just listen to some music and tried to get some sleep.
Line 25:
The next morning was like any other. I showered, ate breakfast at the local restaurant and went to work. I was now pretty sure that what I had seen the night before was nothing but a figment of my imagination. I went to the bar that night, hunting for fresh meat. I thought a good fuck was what I needed to get my head cleared. I picked up a young bimbo and took her to my apartment.
I was lying in bed with the
The sperm
She had the gall to roll her eyes, and said
Priscilla pushed me away with a hard shove and replied
What was I going to do now? Was I going to go through life without getting hard? Fuck no!
WRONG! All of my test results showed that I was a perfectly healthy guy. There was not a thing wrong with me or my swimmers. Great! Science
The following Saturday was my birthday. My bros kept insisting that I go to a strip club with them. Obviously I
I shut the door in a hurry. That vindictive bitch knew how much I love girl on girl. I tried to take deep breaths and thought about my mom to get soft again. But it was to no avail. I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my cock and balls. It was so intense I thought I would collapse. I undid my pants and underwear. The stabbing sensation had now moved to the tip of my penis. This time I did collapse. I screamed in pain as I felt something shoot out of my cock. It was a sperm. The largest one I had seen so far.
Then it came at me. I had the wherewithal to kick it away and stumble to the bedroom. I closed the door behind me and just sat there with my back to it and cried. I cried out of pain, fear and frustration. The sperm
If any of you reading this have any experience with something like this and have any suggestions, now would be a good time.
Line 51:
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:Originally on r/shittynosleep]]
{{Comments}}
|