Nightmare on Sesame Street: Difference between revisions
m
→top: replaced: “ → " (66), ” → " (170), ’ → ' (107), ‘ → ' (3)
No edit summary |
m (→top: replaced: “ → " (66), ” → " (170), ’ → ' (107), ‘ → ' (3)) |
||
Line 2:
[[File:204px-Bigbird.jpg|right|150px|Screenshot.]]
I am looking for a particular lost movie. You see, I worked for my local PBS station, WVIA, and I fucking hated it. I only did the job for my $750,000 salary. PBS wanted people to clear out their catalog as a prank so people would think
I found the specific movie,
I just want to point out, it was a very wrong movie. Its budget apparently was $300 million, but it looks like it was made on a $300 fucking budget. The theme song was the exact opposite; instead of being positive it was negative (like it replaced sunny day with shitty day).
Line 10:
Another thing is every character was played by themselves?! Except for Grover, who is played by Troy Bobber, who did everything behind the scenes and has no other film credits, and Bert and Ernie who play the other character.
Anyways, the film starts with Gordon introducing himself saying,
For added context, I fucking hate Baby Bear.
Anyways, Baby Bear goes Trick or Treating, but oh no. Something scary and paranormal happens,
Godlys was a comedian and actor who suddenly fell off harder than EDP and
Anyways, Godlys says,
Godlys screamed,
The branches didn't support him for long and he fell again. Godlys screamed,
He finally ended the long, rather painful, fall.
Gordon chimed into the scene and said,
Baby Bear saw the 6 meanie ghosts and screamed,
Gordon comforted him and said,
Meanwhile, Jafar was traveling to KingSombraLand to finally murder Aladdin and he met King Sombra who was planning on doing the same thing, they quickly became the bestest of friends and made absolutely horrendous
Wow, what an amazing dialogue! Surely, Troy Bobber must've asked Pixar to write that one. Actually, he did! And they purposely made bad dialogue and John Lasseter sent them a note that said,
Anyways, Gordon got ALMOST everyone. Except for Caillou and Elmo.
Then, it shows Caillou, with a blender, and Elmo.
I gasped and blood tears flew down my eyes, while I was shaking. It might've been funny, but I still threw up enough to feed the entire U.S. population for 10 years. As Elmo was my childhood, he might be an annoying bastard, but him not being an innocent child ruined my childhood.
It showed Godlys again. Remember when I said his fall affected him for the rest of the movie? This scene especially showed it, he walked as if he was the drunkest and highest man in history with his henchmen looking for more minions.
Wow, what amazing writing! Surely, Troy Bobber sent this to Illumination to write it. Actually, he did! Except Illumination bought the rights to make it into a horrible franchise. Expect to see
Then, it showed Jafar and King Sombra, now friends again? But soon they have another falling.
I saw Elmo's sentient penis ghost slowly flying in a random
As the epic journey to find the ghosts started, it became apparent that Elmo became a marijuana addict. It becomes factual when Elmo screams,
Elmo eventually got tired of all his no-pp jokes. So, after smoking his secret piece of marijuana, he said,
An example is he killed Dr. Trayaurus while he was having anal at work. "TRAYAURUS, I TOLD YOU TO HAVE NO ANAL IN VIDEOS,
Elmo ran in to Trayaurus having anal while Elmo smoked more marijuana.
Soon, Elmo finally returned.
They got the boombox and started playing the soundtrack of The Sesameits National Anthem.
So, the ghosts come out of Godlys making the reveal that it's
So there became the battle, Elmo and his sentient ghost penis vs everyone else. Eventually Big Bird finally got a line by saying,
Joker got all pissed that he was left with no manhood. So he decided to blow up the world. Shaq went to save the world and beat up the button.
Line 88:
However, Jackie Chan and Daniel Craig secretly had no penises the whole time, so they both went to the scene trying to murder Shaq, who was saved by Kevin Heart.
If you wanna know exactly why all those characters came to the scene, most of them came to beat Chuck
Chuck Norris still fought in the battle, blowing things up that he
Megatron and Optimus Prime went on a fight to see who gets to marry Bumblebee. Optimus Prime thought two steps ahead, and grabbed Dr.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ate all the pizza in the world, leaving Norris without a slice. So Chuck blew them up! He also blew Spider-Man up for being too slow. You
Bert, Ernie, and Grover talked about how they pissed their pants and had a kidney failure. Chuck blew them up! Chuck Norris sided with Elmo and his penis ghost, so he blew the rest of The Sesameits up!
Chuck randomly blew Shrek and Kim Kardashian up. Elmo smoked more marijuana, which pissed Chuck off, so he blew him up! Snuffy got all scared and drank a whole glass of cum, so Chuck blew him up too! Unfortunately, this was too much explosions for heaven to handle, and it fucking exploded, I saw blood! It shows Norris in hell with The Count (dressed up as the devil) saying,
Cookie Monster came back looking like a fucking ghost of a puddle, and he was all stuttery and shit.
Suddenly, Elmo threw a shitton of knives. The only thing that stopped him was when Big Bird, or as I want to call him, Bitch Bird, used his size to push Elmo into a building and breaking it. Kermit saw the scene and said,
Godzilla took a bite out of Goku harder than the Smurfs did it when Smurfette moved to their village. But Abraham Lincoln tried to stop him by grabbing Optimus
Soon, Godlys needed some cheering and climbed up an electric fence for it.
Godzilla went and thrown a boomerang, which hit Godlys and fucking sliced his head off. Chuck Norris came back to the scene and kicked Godzilla in his balls. Which caused so much pain, that Norris killed him. Godlys came back alive, but Chuck knew how to kill him forever. Chuck crushed
Honestly, the entire fight scene made me question what the fuck kind of shit I was writing, I mean reading. But, Jeff the
Mario and Sonic were actually honestly just having a kitty fight. It seems fucking stupid, but who cares
The 200 million monthly active Roblox players joined the fight, but Pikachu kills them and shit with his fucking thunderbolt. Ash Ketchum finally gets Pikachu in his pokeball and fucking eats it. Santa
Godzilla used his tail to protect himself from King Kong, which caused him and Batman (in his indestructible Batmobile) to fling on a skyscraper. King Kong died, but Batman hit Godzilla with his bat grenade. Godzilla got super pissed, and crushed him against the wall. The pressure fucking killed both Batman and Godzilla.
Donald Trump of all people saw that Velma and Shaggy from the Scooby Doo franchise became black or some shit all of a fucking sudden.
Donald Trump went and grabbed both of them to deport them like the shitty racist pig he is. But Shaggy is a fucking badass god, so he beat Trump up. Bill Crosby went to say one statement.
The battle was epic and legendary, with good guys, bad guys, and explosions, but there had to only be one winner. The winner was EVIL PATRIXXX, (hyperrealistic and with blood all over him) who threw a frozen condom filled with Diet Coke and Mentos gum at the ghost penis, and he beat Mario and Sonic up to death with a dirty diaper. Declaring victory, he said,
Eventually, there was a final scene where Pete from Mickey Mouse loses his balloon, and repeatedly bullies Mickey and the gang from getting angry and pissed about it. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Minnie, Daisy, Toodles, and the other characters I
They talk to Dex Dogtective about what they should do to make him happy again.
Mickey gave up on the balloon search and explained to Pete that he's only upset because he's uncomfortable with his body. Then Pete claimed to actually be a fucking beautiful lizard woman stuck in the body of a fat cat and that's why he's pissed off all the time. And he went under the knife and shit, I don't know. It was fucking weird as shit! I don't understand why Pete would want to be a woman - or a lizard for that matter, honestly, I didn't know he was a cat until someone told me. But who am I to judge a cartoon character?
Anyways, after the credits, which were basically a memorial for everyone who was involved in a shitty movie, played there was a post credit scene. Jafar and King Sombra, who are friends again, finally did their plan. But a giant ghost of Cookie Monster came and said,
(Continues typing:) Something about this film after made me jump off the building and run home,
We talked for hours about random silly shit like how big
But who the hell cares, it's finally done, my magnum opus Trollpasta, Nightmare on Sesame Street, done in an entire day at work! Now I just got to post it, NO!!!! I just sent it to Hollywood as my first movie idea.
Honey, I'm home. Oh, wait I forgot I'm an alone virgin for life. (Call 1:) Hey, Godlys, I heard you made Nightmare on Sesame Street. I heard it's so bad, the nazis and communists are using it as weapons. (Call 2:) Hey, Godlys, heard you made Nightmare on Sesame Street, the first movie to get a negative percentage on rotten tomatoes. (Call 3:) Hey, Godlys, so you can't get away with making it, I made a DVD with proof that you made Nightmare on Sesame Street. I sent you the first copy for free to cheer you up.
Line 152:
For those of you creepypasta makers foolish enough to watch Nightmare on Sesame Street, I won't lie to you, you'll likely die of how bad it is. You have my sympathies. Its scars in the heart stay deep within. Beware of the film.
But remember, one thing, one thing only. I did not make the movie. It always will be Troy Bobber. I destroyed the
Not only that, the proof was faker than Kim
I
Wait, I
Wait, I get it now! All the penises, the fucking excessive swearing, the shitty plot! I know who wrote this!
JarJar Binks: Yea,
(JarJar sees the bomb I sent to him) AHHHHHHH!!!!! (He fucking explodes)
Oscar the Grouch: Hey, I told you to not find him, give me my 50 million and movie role back!
Elmo: Oh, you want 50 million huh?
Me: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Wait, you guys are in Sesame Street. Why are you in the real world?
Oscar the Grouch: Fuck no, my ass is going to get beaten again! (He grabs a gun and points it to his ear before I throw it)
Me: FUCK NO!!!!
Kanye: Damn, what a blast! (He goes into his Ferrari and Elmo (smoking marijuana) and his penis ghost frolic back to Sesame Street. Cookie Monster randomly comes to the scene with another pipe and happily dances back. I confusingly wave to them till they fucking leave.)
|