No Need to be Rude: Difference between revisions
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I came home from work one day to find a ghost in my house. This was weird, but since I didn’t often have guests over I didn’t want to be rude.
The ghost, who by the way resembled a pretty, young woman with a knife stuck in her chest, didn’t respond. She just sort of floated there in my living room. I could understand, though; I can be pretty shy around new people, too. I tried to make her feel welcome.
I was gathering a change of clothes from my dresser when I suddenly realized how stupid I’d been. Dropping my clothes, I ran back into the living room.
No reply. I took that as a ‘no’ and opened the can. I took it out and set it on the coffee table by the couch.
After being in the shower for about fifteen minutes, I switched off the water and pulled back the curtain to reach for my towel. The ghost was standing in front of me. She seemed a bit more haggard than before, and I couldn’t help but notice that the knife that had been in her chest was now being held in her hand.
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I immediately felt embarrassed; not that she had seen me naked (I’m actually quite proud of my physique), but because of my own unintentional rudeness.
I turned to leave, but paused and took the knife from her hand.
A few hours later, I was awoken by a draft in my room. The window wasn’t open, and it felt like it was coming from my bedside. I reached over and flipped the light switch to discover the ghost standing over me. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying anything, but her body was really starting to decay at an alarming rate. And it appeared that she had retrieved her cleaned knife from the washer.
Satisfied that the situation had been handled properly, I exited the room, leaving my guest in peace.
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The next morning, I awoke and began my morning routine, not even caring that my back was a bit stiff from the couch. As I was waiting for my coffee and straightening my tie, the ghost appeared in the kitchen. At this point, she was almost more bone than flesh, and as much as I hated to even think such a thing, she was really beginning to stink. I should offer her some of my cologne…
She stared at me, then spoke.
This made me worry. I had tried my best to be a good host, but I couldn’t just let her take my heart! Not now, not this way, not when there was still so much for me to do!
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Unless…
I pulled out my phone and hit Speed Dial 3.
I pocketed my phone and smiled at the ghost.
The ghost smiled and plunged the knife into my chest.
So polite!
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