Not Natural

---Not Natural---

I remember a animated show titled Life, n' dat shiznit was a ejaculationizzle show aimed towardz lil' thugs. Well shiiiit, it talked bout straight-up issues, like divorce, dirtnap, n' game-threatenin deseases yo, but all up in tha same time, it remained kid-friendly. When I was 8, I peeped dis show on Saturdizzle mornings when I had spare time. I straight-up was horny bout tha show a shitload yo, but sadly, like all tha dopest shows around, dat shiznit was shut down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da cancelation date was 7/7/2004. I raised up on dat date n' turned on a TV, waitin fo' tha freshly smoked up episode ta air; tha channel I was on even placed all dem banners durin Arther dat a freshly smoked up episode was bout ta air. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da time was 8:00, n' instead of airin tha episode, a re-run of a previous episode was aired. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was trippin bout this, n' complained ta mah muthafathas bout dat shit.

On 7/8/04, I heard rumorz of dis "Not Natural" episode of Life flossed grusome content, so tha channel replaced it wit a re-run of "Passin Away", a episode where tha main characterz momma takes a thugged-out dirt nap n' he experiences tha 5 stagez of grief. I knew dat rumors should not be believed rather than believed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I looked at next weekz schedule on tha channel yo, but there was no sign of Life ta air at all. I later hustled dat Life was canceled. 

Ten muthafuckin years later, I became a thug fo' a lil playas show on Nickeloden. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. By then, I have forgotten bout Life until a cold-ass lil co-writer mentioned it ta mah dirty ass yo. Dude holla'd at mah crazy ass dat Life might be rebooted on Nick, n' dat tha showz thug was recently hired ta direct tha reboot. Da first scam dat popped up in mah head was tha cancelation of dat shit. I axed him, "Did yo dirty ass hear tha suppossed reason why dat shiznit was shut down?" Dude stated dat da ruffneck did, n' went on rappin' bout tha rumorz of Not Natural. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack yo. Dude even holla'd at mah crazy ass info dat I did not even know, like its premise. To me, it soundz like a aiiight episode. Dat shiznit was on some menstrually challenged kid strugglin up in society.

Da thug of Life, named Tyla Jhonson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude strutted up in tha main hall, n' I noticed his muthafuckin ass. I ran up ta his ass n' axed his ass tha only question up in mah head: Why is Not Natural controversial, biatch? Dude stared all up in mah grill n' stated, "I don't give a fuck what tha fuck you rappin' about." This raised a ton of thangs, n' when I tried askin his ass something, da perved-out muthafucka shoved mah crazy ass back n' strutted away, also droppin a VHS tape n' a note. I picked tha VHS tape up n' read tha note.

"This be a tape of tha unaired episode of Life, Not Natural. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. If you peep this, you won't be horny."

I strutted home, holdin tha VHS tape n' tha note up in mah hands. I slid tha VHS tape up in mah VHS playa n' started watching. Da openin theme was playing, n' mah nostalgia started takin over n' shit. I was rappin ta tha tune. Dat shiznit was funk until tha title card was shown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da lyrics "Not Natural" was shown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da pattern of tha text resemblez a human dome.

Da episode started wit a 10 year oldschool whoz ass gets locked n loaded fo' school yo. His muthafathas help his ass dress up, brush teeth, n' smoke breakfast fo' realz. Along wit his voice, it is implied dat dat schmoooove muthafucka has a "slow" dome. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da settin shifts ta his school, where he is teased cause of his condition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude don't notice it n' acts like every last muthafuckin thang is normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. One day, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bonked his head on a  metal pole n' suddenly has tha mind of a aiiight child. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat mah playas be thinkin he is still dumb. When he gets teased, he straight-up gets tha message n' cries. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! When his schmoooove ass came home, da perved-out muthafucka saw his thugged-out lil' muthafathas, noticin his thugged-out aiiight IQ yo. His muthafathas pretended ta be aiiight yo, but when da thug strutted away, tha muthafathas was revealed ta have Empty Nest Syndrome. They start missin tha pasttime of carin fo' thier lil hustla n' they decizzle ta make his ass dumb again n' again n' again ta fufill thier wish. Da kidz daddy is revealed ta be a thugged-out doctor, n' knows how tha fuck ta manipulate tha childz dome.

Da kid was tranqulized n' was dragged ta a wooden table. What I saw made me puke. 

Da show now was up in live action, n' a muthafucka whoz ass voiced like his fuckin lil' daddy started choppin round tha kidz forehead until tha skull is shown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude used a hammer ta crack open tha skull yo, but he accidently smashed all up in his dome n' it splattered everyehere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Well shiiiit, it cut back ta animation n' his thugged-out lil' muthafathas was sobbin fo' realz. A transizzle card rocked up, statin "2 minutes later".

It cuts ta a gangbangin' funeral of tha child, n' all dem fools dat was all up in tha funeral was there to 

make funk of him, makin extremly harsh statments such as, "I bet da ruffneck took a dirt nap of thankin a real thought." His momma stated ta argue wit her homeboy, statin dat dat shiznit was all his wild lil' fault. When they return home, tha daddy socked his hoe hard, thankin dat it would end tha argument. I straight-up noticed a realistic bone-cracklin sound, n' her big-ass booty screamed loudly. Blood was startin ta bleed of her head, n' tha camera turns ta show tha extent of tha injury. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch passed out, n' tha homeboy bagged her up, n' put her on tha same table as his fuckin lil hustla was shown earlier n' shiznit yo. Dude started ta laugh maniacly, n' tha episode cuts ta tha credits.

I was disturbed of tha footage n' thought ta throw tha VHS tape away yo, but instead, I thought of a funky-ass mo' betta idea. Da next morning, I strutted ta Nickeloden n' flossed tha tape ta tha CEO before Tyla Jhonston arrived. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude was shocked at what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka saw, n' decided ta fire Tyla Jhonston on tha spot. Even though I peeped tha episode, I still had one question: Why was it made, biatch? I guess I shouldn't know.