Parodypasta Theory: Emperor Kuzco and Pacha vs. Panic and Pain: Difference between revisions

 

Emperor Kuzco and Panic look exactly the same, save the fact that Panic is tall, blue, and some kind of weird goblin thing. I don’t know, that was never really explained. Also, Pain looks exactly like Pacha, save the fact that Pain is red and isn’t married yet due to the fact that it was harder to get married in ancient Greece. The Gods and Goddess often liked to pick on married people, which is why a lot of people chose to be single and go on adventures to distract themselves from an entire existence of never being able to go on a date. This is where all of the great Greek legends came from. It’s amazing the things that can get done when you don’t have to worry about a significant other in your life.

 

Now, this all seems like a far stretch of the imagination but it isn’t as weird as some of the other theories floating around the internet. I mean have you ever read that one theory about Angelica from the Rugrats being a schizophrenic druggie? It’s a doozy. Read it if you are bored one day. Trust me when I tell you that it won’t fail to entertain. This theory makes about as much sense as that one, so give it a chance. Anyway, enough of advertising other theories which I secretly like and think everyone should read but will never admit it so I pass it off as a b-rated joke in one of my own pastas. Let’s get back to my theory which is the best and most awesome theory on the internet because it involves Disney characters.

 

There are a few hints in the Emperor’s New Groove that they are in fact the same characters though. For example, when the Emperor Kuzco has a flashback to what his life used to be like before being turned into a llama, many of the scenes are similar to the way Hades acted as lord of the underworld. The only way Kuzco would know how to act like this is if he witnessed it first hand as Hades’ assistant Pain. The first time Pacha meets Kuzco in the flashback, they immediately ‘click’ like they have known each other in a previous life. Or, rather, in another time when they both worked together as Hades’ minions in the days of ancient Greece.

 

Another hint that they were once ethereal servants of Hades is the fact that Pacha calls Kuzco a ‘demon llama’ when he firsts meets him again in his llama form. The only way either one of them would have any knowledge of demons or similar creatures of Hades is if they had once lived there and seen them themselves. You have to remember that the Incans had their own view of the world they lived in and at that time knew nothing about western ideas of the afterlife. So the fact that they would have any shared knowledge about it is unusual.

 

Hades rolled his eyes at this, appearing in the television series as Yzma whenever his agent told him to. He still managed to get the reformed Pain and Panic back at the end of the day though, since they had turned into mortals and eventually had to die. He found them rather useless in their human forms as they didn’t have any special powers and had forgotten that they were ever his minions to begin with. He immediately sent them into the River of Souls along with the souls of all of their mortal family members while he laughed manically from the cliff overlooking them, bringing everything full-circle.

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