Richie "Ball-Lover" Marcus' (Late) Birthday Extravaganza: Difference between revisions

Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”"

A middle-aged man answered the door. "Trick-or-treat!”"

"Nice try, kid. Halloween isn't until next week.”" He replied.

"Ehhhh...that’s okay with me.”"

"Well I don’t have any tricks-or-treats, so get lost.”" And then he slammed the door in my face.

"Damn sonofabitch!”" I shouted, kicking the door repeatedly.

So I tried the next house over. *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”"

An elderly lady answered the door. "Trick-or-treat!”"

"Oh is it trick-or-treat day already? Time certainly does fly.”"

"Yeah yeah whatever, just gimme some candy.”"

She grabbed an orange prescription bottle filled with unidentified pills and tossed them into my bag (uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, ‘bag’). "What are these, Tic Tacs?”"

"No deary, those are Prune Flavored Old Lady Candies. They’ve been my favorite since I was a child. Why, back in the 40’s-”"

"Yeah that’s nice, bye.”"

I knocked on the third house’s door. *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”" *Knock Knock Knock* "Trick-or-treat.”"

A middle-aged woman answered the door. "Trick-or-treat.”"

"Nice costume.”" She said sarcastically. "Where’d you get it, the local pharmacy?”"

"Hey, I’ll have you know this isn’t no costume. I have to walk around like this the rest of my life. And anyways, I would never get too desperate to go shopping for a Halloween costume at a pharmacy. Bitch.”" I threw up an East Side gang sign to show her I was hella dope as fuck.

"Ahhh, I am slain.”" He cried out in a monotone voice as he fell to the ground dead.

Just as I was about to lose my black cherry, Doomguy came crashing through the roof of the bus. "RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! YOU’RE HUGE! THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!”" He shouted. The demonic Michael Jackson took to the air as the skies darkened. Doomguy pulled out his BFG 9000.

"NOOOOO!! NOT THE BFG 9000!!! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!!!”" MJ boomed in a demonic voice.

MJ was sent careening off into the night sky. "Looks like Team Rocket’s blasting off again!”" We heard him scream.

"Glad that’s over with.”" I said, immediately realizing things never go right when you say that.

A demonic portal opened up in the middle of Detroit, bringing with it the Raiders of the A-pok-a-klypse. A giant TV monitor appeared in front of us. That dude from the Saw movies was on-screen. "Welcome to Canada, Frylock.”" He said. "Beside you stands your personal hero, John Romero. You now have a kitchen gun in your hands. Do the math.”"

"NO! FUCK YOU!!! I WON’T DO IT!! I DON’T CARE IF I HAVE TO KILL JOHN ROMERO TO WIN THE GAME!”" And then I fired the Kitchen Gun at the screen.

And then the portal to Hell closed and all the demon’s dieded. Lazy Game Reviewer descended from the heavens and said unto me, "Good job, you’re winner! Let’s have a party!”"

Dale Gribble said, "How about a fun filled day at Six Flags? We can ride the roller coasters and give ‘em the finger when they take our picture!”"

"This reminds me of that movie, National Lampoon’s Vacation.”" LGR said.

"Don’t worry guise, I got this.”" John Romero opened his laptop and hacked into the Six Flags mainframe ‘cause he’s a 1337 super-hacker. So we rode the rides and gave the cameras the finger ‘cause fuck da police.