Richie "Ball-Lover" Marcus' (Late) Birthday Extravaganza: Difference between revisions
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Richie "Ball-Lover" Marcus' (Late) Birthday Extravaganza (view source)
Revision as of 10:37, 17 June 2021
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So I grabbed an extra large garbage bag and ran outside to start my trick-or-treating. I started at the neighbor’s house next door.
Knock Knock Knock*
A middle-aged man answered the door.
So I tried the next house over. *Knock Knock Knock*
An elderly lady answered the door.
She grabbed an orange prescription bottle filled with unidentified pills and tossed them into my bag (uh-huh-huh-huh-huh, ‘bag’).
I ran to the next house as the lady rambled on.
I knocked on the third house’s door. *Knock Knock Knock*
A middle-aged woman answered the door.
She reached into her pocket and grabbed a bottle of pepper spray and proceeded to spray me in the eyes. I fell backwards off the front steps and began flailing around on the ground. When it was all over, I lie on the ground, almost near-death. The annoying beeping sound indicated I was at 1 HP.
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It was only after the bus stopped in a dark alley that I noticed the lyrics to the music:
Get aboard the rape bus.
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Quickly, I pulled my emergency Bowie knife from my sock and threw it at him. Unfortunately, he had studied the Matrix and saw the movies over a hundred times and dodged it. The knife broke through the front window and stabbed Bad Luck Brian, who had just so happened to be walking by.
As MJ grew closer, I could only pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. That’s what creepypastas are all about, right? Right? No? Well shit, guess I need to scrap a half-dozen of my creepypastas.
Just as I was about to lose my black cherry, Doomguy came crashing through the roof of the bus.
Doomguy fired the BFG and it hit MJ and it blew him up or something. I didn’t notice, since I busy trying to clean up the mess I had made when my bowels evacuated into my pants and it was all gooshy and smelly FOR FUCK’S SAKE I SHIT MYSELF, OKAY.
MJ was sent careening off into the night sky.
A demonic portal opened up in the middle of Detroit, bringing with it the Raiders of the A-pok-a-klypse. A giant TV monitor appeared in front of us. That dude from the Saw movies was on-screen.
Kitchen Gun! BANG BANG BANG!!!*
And then the portal to Hell closed and all the demon’s dieded. Lazy Game Reviewer descended from the heavens and said unto me,
Dale Gribble said,
So the five of us got back in the bus and drove to Six Flags Detroit. Only the park wasn’t open because it was October and the season was over.
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