Sneaky Agent

NOTE: This fanfic might be a trollfic; however, it has unfortunate implications all throughout and even if it didn't, I personally wouldn't recommend it anyway. You have been warned.

Chapter 1

Agent Sneaky

Ch.1

Victor and Anita were both getting ready for work like any other day. Victor and Anita both were giving both Victor Jr. and Vanessa their bottles. Just before they dropped them off at Victor's mother Mildred Volt's house so they can go to work.

Anita looked at Victor and said " we have the most beautiful children." 

"We sure do." replied Victor with a smile of pride on his face. 

Victor and Anita dropped Victor Jr. and Vanessa off at Mildred's house, They each gave both Victor Jr. and Vanessa a kiss on the forehead before heading off to another day at work. Victor and Anita arrived at work did everything thing they had to do to everyday get to the main pod. Within five minutes they were in the briefing room.

"How is everyone doing today?" said Changed Daily.

"Fine" said Victor. "good" said Anita. 

"doing great" said Professor Professor. 

"Before we begin began" Changed daily. He was about to speak again when one the U.Z.Z. agents went up to him and handed him a letter. Changed daily looked at letter and read it out loud.

Dear U.Z.Z.,

I went on a vacation this morning and I'm not sure when I'll be coming back or if I will be coming back at all, because I like my vacation spot and I might just move up here and stay up here but until everything is figured out I would have personally hand chosen a person to take my place. If I stay here I will miss all of you but for now good luck on your missions

Sincerely

Special Agent Ray

P.S. The person of my choosing will be wearing a pair of my sunglasses.

"Who's replacing Ray?" asked Victor. 

"Yeah who?" asked Anita. 

"I know" said Professor Professor. 

"WHO?" said both Victor and Anita at the same time. Just then the shadow figure that looked quite familiar was at the briefing room door. 

"Okay everybody" began Professor Professor "meet Ray's replacement Special Agent Alphonse" 

Victor and Anita were both angry.

"Hi Victor" began Alphonse with an evil smile. "hi Anita, hi Professor Professor hi…..What's your name?" 

"Well" began Changed Daily "as you know for reasons of security my name is Changed Daily today you may call me" his communicator beeped "OHH" "Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie. Everybody started laughing. 

"Hi Peter's plumped pecan pie" said Alphonse. 

Today began Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie" Victor and Anita will be going over the T.H.E.M. base to take away the new improved un-invent ray before the expendables get it working.”

"NO" began Alphonse "er… um… I mean there might be a trap. 

"Good thinking" said Professor Professor.

"I'll invent something that can help Victor and Anita detect traps. 

"Better yet" began Alphonse "I'll" go and get it, after all I can use the practice." 

"Swell thinking said Professor Professor." so Alphonse got on his new sky bike. And flew off towards the T.H.E.M. base.

"That was close" Alphonse said talking to himself. 

Alphonse arrived at T.H.E.M. walked in and greeted Doctor Doctor. "What is U.Z.Z. up to now Alphonse" 

"Nothing much" began Alphonse. “they want me to obtain the un-invent ray so I will need the replica to bring back with me, they were going to send Victor and Anita but I insisted they send me." 

"How did you get U.Z.Z. to listen to you?" Asked Doctor Doctor. 

"Easily" began Alphonse "I lied and told them I can use the practice. 

"Good work Special Expandable Alphonse they would have stopped at nothing to get the un-invent ray." 

"Thank you Doctor Doctor" said Alphonse 

"No" began Doctor Doctor"

"Thank you." Alphonse grabbed the replica un-invent ray and headed back to U.Z.Z. 

…...

"Good work Alphonse" said peter's plumped pecan pie. 

Professor Professor took the replica un-invent ray not knowing at all it was a fake. 

Victor and Anita were both staring at each other.

"Now he is better than us" mumbled Victor. 

"What was that asked," Alphonse.

"Nothing" replied Victor with an Angry voice. 

Later on that night after Victor and Anita got home from work. Victor and Anita were talking about how boring it was at work earlier that day and how Alphonse is Ray's replacement. 

"I can't believe this" began Victor "Out of everybody that ray could have chose to take his place he had to choose Alphonse." 

"I don't like his choice either" began Anita but until ray comes back, well if Ray comes back we will have no choice but to work with Alphonse"

"I know began" Victor 'this is going to be…Wait a minute" began Victor. "Something is not right here." 

"What do you mean?" asked Anita. 

"Since when does Ray go on vacation in such a short notice?

"I don't know" began Anita "Every other time he went on a vacation he.." 

"Constantly bragged about how many days it was until his vacation" said both Victor and Anita at the same time.

"But" began Victor "Ray didn't say anything about a vacation." 

"That can mean a lot of things" said Anita. 

"Yeah" began Victor "I guess your right, but that doesn't explain why Alphonse was acting so weird today, I mean when we were supposed to go to the T.H.E.M. base he yelled No stammered for a minute and then said there might be a trap, but if there is a trap how was he sure he wouldn't end up getting trapped?" 

"He also said he could use the practice" began Anita "But if he still needs practice how would he be able to get out of a trap." 

"And" began Victor "How come it didn't look like he had to put up a fight with T.H.E.M." 

“He also got the un-invent ray without any back up" added Anita 

"I bet you that un-invent ray was a fake" said Victor

"I'll be right back" said Victor after he grabbed his communicator and his camcorder. 

"Where are you going" asked Anita. 

“To the T.H.E.M. base to see what I can find out." 

"Be careful" said Anita" 

"I will" said Victor. He gave Anita a kiss on the lips and the he gave both Victor Jr. and Vanessa each a kiss on the forehead and then Victor was off.

TO BE CONTINUED….

Chapter 2

Sneaky Agent

Ch.2

Victor got on his sky bike and flew all the way over to the T.H.E.M. base. Victor carefully and quietly hid his sky bike behind some bushes. Victor then headed toward the back the T.H.E.M. base. Victor was about to head towards the right end of the building when he heard some talking. 

Doctor Doctor began to someone who sounded very familiar to Victor. 

"That person sounds very familiar" thought Victor then it hit him "that is Alphonse's voice." 

"What would Alphonse be doing here" thought Victor "I better record this." Victor didn't have enough time to set up his camcorder so he grabbed his communicator. Victor's communicator didn't have a lot of power left so he was only able to record sound. 

"I'll charge the battery later" thought Victor who pressed record to record everything he heard. Just then Doctor Doctor began to talk 

"Did Professor Professor discover that the un-invent ray he has is fake?" 

"Not yet" began Alphonse "he just thinks that T.H.E.M. was just bluffing with U.Z.Z so that T.H.E.M could try to look better than U.Z.Z. even though T.H.E.M. is much better than U.Z.Z." 

"U.Z.Z. doesn't suspect anything about you?" asked Doctor Doctor. 

"Not at all" began Alphonse with an evil Laugh "not at all Ha ha ha ha ha."

"You are indeed a loyal expandable Alphonse" began Doctor Doctor "very loyal" 

"I have to go let Anita hear this" thought Victor "and then I have to go to the main pod at U.Z.Z. and let Professor Professor, and Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie hear this."

Victor waited to everyone at the T.H.E.M. base was asleep, then he went behind the bush, grabbed his skybike and went back home To his Wife Anita and his kids Victor Jr. and Vanessa. As soon as victor arrived at his house he woke Anita up.

Anita jumped. 

"What's going on Victor" asked Anita "what's going on and did you find out anything" 

"I sure did and Anita you have to hear this" replied Victor. "Hear what" asked Anita. "When I was at the T.H.E.M. base" began Victor "I heard some talking, in fact I heard a very familiar voice" 

"We fight Doctor Doctor all the time so obviously her voice is going to be very familiar" said Anita. 

"I did hear Doctor Doctor talk" said Victor "but that is not the voice I was talking about" 

"So who's voice did you hear or at least thought you heard?" asked Anita. 

"Well at first" began Victor "I thought to myself that that voice sounds familiar, then it hit me it was Alphonse's voice" 

"Are you sure" asked Anita. 

"I'm positive,” replied Victor 

"Anyway" continued Victor " what I want you to hear is what I recorded, all I got is sound because I didn't have enough battery power to record a video, but I recorded some talking that you might find very interesting" so Victor played the recording. 

Anita then listened to everything that Dcotor Doctor and Alphonse had said. She heard everything from Doctor Doctor talking about the fake un-invent ray to asking about whether not U.Z.Z. is onto Alphonse to Alphonse talking about U.Z.Z. and how he thinks T.H.E.M. is better than U.Z.Z. to Doctor Doctor saying how Alphonse is a loyal expandable.

Anita was shocked. 

"I have got to let Professor Professor and Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie know about this" said Victor. 

"You should" began Anita "only" 

"Only what" asked Victor"

"Only" began Anita "Professor Professor isn't going to believe you." 

"That's right" began Victor because he knows that I don't get along with Alphonse and he will think that I am just trying to get rid of Alphonse."

"And to make it worse" began Anita "Professor Professor will say a lot of things to Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie to make him believe Alphonse instead of you and then you will get suspended" 

"And then Alphonse will get away with it and he will also get rewarded to." 

"Man" began Anita "Alphonse is one sneaky rat." 

"You've got that right" said Victor "U.Z.Z. calls Alphonse special agent Alphonse, they should really call him Sneaky Alphonse." 

"Or" began Anita "Sneaky Agent Alphonse."

"I'm going to go to bed right now" began Victor "but tomorrow night I am going to go back the T.H.E.M. base and see what else I can find out because U.Z.Z. doesn't ever listen to me, and if U.Z.Z. won't help me then I will have to do this myself." so Victor went to bed. 

…...

The next day just like everyday Victor and Anita had to go through all the processes to get into the main pod at U.Z.Z. in the briefing room Peter's Plumped Pecan Pie began to speak "Doctor Doctor is bringing back old inventions, and in doing so is a breech in security, and I take security very seriously, and for reasons of security my name is changed daily today you may call me"

his communicator beeped "OHHHH.. Lazy Lazy Lima Bean." 

Victor and Anita laughed. 

Everything else that happened that whole day was just as boring as the day before with Alphonse doing all the work, but little did Alphonse know Victor was on to him. Later on that night Victor made sure his communicator was charged. Victor gave Anita a kiss, and gave both Victor Jr. and Vanessa a kiss on the forehead and just like the night before Victor was off.

Just like the night before when Victor arrived at the T.H.E.M. base he hid his skybike and hid behind the building. 

Victor didn't see anything suspicious nor did he see Alphonse.

"Maybe nothing is going on tonight" thought Victor when he saw some grass that looked like a rug over towards the right side of the building. Victor ran over toward it. It was fake. 

Victor pulled it up. 

Under it was a hidden door that leads underground. Victor heard some sounds coming from under the door.

"It sounds like a man with tape on his mouth" thought Victor. 

Victor opened the door slowly climbed down the stairs. When victor got to bottom he notice a man laying down in a cage covered with chains and duct tape with his hands cuffed trying to free himself. Victor shined the light on his communicator. Victor could now clearly see the. 

Victors eye's got wide seeing Ray shouted "AGENT RAY."

TO BE CONTINUED…...

Chapter 3

Sneaky Agent 

Ch.3

Victor stared and stared at Ray in disbelief, trying to understand how he got there. 

"I've got to get you out of here" said Victor. 

Victor pulled out his laser gun and shot at the cage until the bars broke off. Victor approached agent Ray and pulled the duct tape off of agent Ray's face. 

"OW" yelled Agent Ray, apparently Victor pulled the tape off too hard. 

"WHERE'S ALPHONSE" shouted Ray with anger "WHERS'S ALPHONSE." 

"At U.Z.Z" began Victor "at U.Z.Z. in the main pod. "

“Why is he in U.Z.Z. in the main pod?" asked Ray. 

"He is substituting for you remember the letter you sent when you went on vacation." 

"Letter?" asked agent Ray.

"Yeah" began Victor "like I said, you sent a letter U.Z.Z. about you going on a vacation and that you were not really sure if you were coming back, and that you wanted Alphonse to take your place until you decide what you want to do, I mean in the letter you specifically said that you hand chose Alphonse to take your place." 

"I did no such thing" began Agent Ray "first of all I did not write that letter, second of all I would never chose Alphonse to take my place." 

"Why not" Victor asked out of curiosity. 

"Well" began Ray "for one you and Alphonse don't get along so you two would definitely have a hard time working together, I mean I can name many other different reasons such as he is the reason why nobody at U.Z.Z. ever listens to you, he will just try to have you reassigned or whatever way we can, get rid of you just so that he can try to steal Anita from you, and, not only that he has had absolutely no training what so ever to be even a normal agent let along a special agent." 

"You do have a point" Victor paused for a second "wait a minute you've noticed everything he has done to me in the past?" asked Victor. 

"I have" replied Agent Ray. 

"Maybe we should stop talking and get out of here" said Victor. 

"yeah we really should" said Ray.

"Alright" began Victor "stay there I'm going to shoot the chains with my laser gun to free you" 

"Stay here?" asked ray "I'm restrained I'm not going anywhere until you blast these chains off of me." 

"Okay here go's nothing" said Victor as he shot his laser gun freeing Agent Ray. 

"Now about those handcuffs" said Victor he then shot the handcuffs breaking them now Agent Ray was free. 

As Ray and Victor started heading out Victor asked Ray "Did you know Alphonse is working for THEM?" 

"I already know" began Agent Ray 

"I was walking near the T.H.E.M. base three nights ago looking for my sunglasses because earlier that day I dropped when I flew my skybike past here, anyway I was looking for my sunglasses when I saw Alphonse I asked him what he was doing here next you know I was attacked by ten expendables all I remember after that is seeing Alphonse come at me with a lead pipe and then I woke restrained on the inside of a cage in this secret underground area." 

" Alphonse did this to you?" asked Victor. 

"Yeah" began Agent Ray. " why else do you think I was yelling where's Alphonse earlier." 

"Why don't we go to U.Z.Z. and let Professor Professor and Lazy Lazy Lima Bean know about all of this"

Ray began to laugh "Lazy Lazy Lima Bean, that's was his new name earlier today Lazy Lazy Lima Bean." 

"Yeah" Victor Laughed "It was." 

"Before we do that" began Ray "I need to go to my house and get something" 

"Sure no problem " said Victor "we will go get whatever it is that you need from your house, and then we will go over to U.Z.Z." said Victor. 

So Ray and Victor jumped onto Victor's Skybike and off they were to Ray's House. 

…...

Meanwhile back at Victor and Anita's house Anita was getting Little Victor Jr. and little Vanessa ready for bed. Anita Carefully tucked Vanessa in her crib and Victor Jr. in his crib Anita then pulled up a chair pulled a book out of the bookshelf and began to read to Victor Jr. and Vanessa. 

She was reading goldilocks and the three bears. Just as Anita began to read she heard a big bang coming from the living room. Anita quickly ran towards the living room to see what was going on. 

Anita was shocked to see the door broken down and Alphonse standing there with an evil smile on his face. 

"Wh… What are you doing here?" asked Anita in a frightened voice.

"This" said Alphonse as he pulled out a T.H.E.M. laser gun he tried to shoot Anita with it but Anita quickly dodged the shot. Anita got a quick look at Alphonse laser and noticed that the laser had the T.H.E.M. logo on it. 

"Your really working for T.H.E.M. aren't ?" asked Anita. 

Alphonse made an evil smile (in which he has done a lot lately) 

"Let my answer you like this" said Alphonse, and then he hit Anita over the head with his T.H.E.M. laser. 

While Anita was slightly knocked out Alphonse did the worse thing he has ever done. Alphonse ran into Victor Jr. and Vanessa's room took both Victor Jr. and Vanessa and took off. As he ran out the door Anita woke up but not in time to stop him. 

Alphonse took off with Victor Jr. and Vanessa. Anita ran into the kid's room to find that Victor Jr. and Vanessa were gone.

…...

Back at Rays ray got what he wanted to get his laser gun, his skybike, and his id and badge so he can get into U.Z.Z. Victor and Ray were just about to board their sky bikes when Victor's Communicator went off. Victor picked up.

"Hello." Anita came on and said "I need you to come home, hurry." 

"What happened" asked Victor now worried about was what was going on. 

"Alphonse" said Anita.

"Alphonse what" began Victor "He did something didn't he, What did he do?"

"He" began Anita "he broke into our house hit me with his T.H.E.M. laser gun" Anita began to cry "and the he. 

"He what" asked Victor. "Anita started crying hard when she said "He kidnapped our Victor Jr. and Vanessa"

TO BE CONTINUED…...

Chapter 4

Ch.4

"I'm on my way" said Victor who punched the skybike hard enough to put a dent in it. 

"Ray" I need your…" Ray cut Victor off. "I heard everything , I'll be glad to help you." 

"Thanks ray" said Victor. 

"No problem" said Ray "what are friends for?" 

Victor and Ray both got on their sky bikes and were on their way to Victor and Anita's house. 

"First" began Victor "I'm going to see if Anita is okay, then I'm going look for Alphonse and when I find him I am going to make him pay." 

"Victor be careful what you do to him for you could… never mind" said Ray

"I could what?" asked Victor. 

"Well" began Ray "you could lose your job." 

"That's a risk I'm willing to take" said Victor "I'm not letting him get away this." 

"Just don't do anything stupid" said Ray. Within five minutes they were at Victor and Anita's house. Victor was so mad he didn't even focus on the broken door or any other damage, he just ran into the house as fast as he could to see if Anita was okay. 

Victor saw Anita in the hallway crying. 

" Anita are you okay?" asked Victor. 

"I'm fine" said Anita "I just want our kids back." 

"We're going to find him, and then we are going to get our kids back." Victor then noticed that Anita had her hand on the left side of her head. 

"Your holding the spot where he hit you didn't he." 

"Yes" replied Anita "I am" 

"Please take your hand off your head so I can see where he hit you." Anita took her hand off her head revealing an inch long cut with bruise. Victor got even more angry at the site of Anita's head cut open from Alphonse hitting her with a laser gun. 

"Alright this is what I'm going to do" began Victor "My mom volunteers as a nurse three times a week so I am going to bring you to her house so she can fix the cut on your head, then I'm going after Alphonse."

"Do you want me to look for him with you?" asked Anita 

"No it's too dangerous" replied Victor. 

"But Victor" began Anita "you can't go by yourself, you… you could get hurt, Victor you can't go by yourself." 

"He's not" said Agent Ray as he appeared by the door "I'm going with him." 

"Agent Ray" began Anita “I thought you were on vacation." 

"I wasn't" began Ray "I was trapped at T.H.E.M. in an underground cage luckily Victor found me and freed me." 

"What happened?" asked Anita. 

"Ray and I will both explain everything to you later, right now we need to get you to my mother's to fix that cut and then Ray and I got to find Alphonse and get the kids before it is too late." 

Ray noticed cut right after Victor pointed it out. 

"Alphonse has gone to far this time" began Victor "I am going to show him a side of me that no one has ever seen before." 

Victor and Anita got on Victor's skybike, and Ray got on his. They then took off. In a few minutes they were at Victor's mother Mildred's house. Victor and Anita walked in. 

Mildred said "hi" and then noticed the cut on Anita's head. 

"What happened. Wh. Whre's my grandchildren?" asked Mildred.

"Alphonse broke in our house hit me with a laser gun, and then kidnapped Victor Jr. and Vanessa" said Anita. 

"where were you then Victor" asked Mildred 

"I was at the T.H.E.M. base" replied Victor. 

"why were you there" asked Mildred 

"I trying to find clues because Alphonse has been acting suspiciously and just yesterday I found out he was working for T.H.E.M., I was just trying to see if I can get evidence to bust him" replied Victor. 

"Oh" said Mildred" 

victor started getting angry "mom" began Victor I would love to stay and chat but if I don't find my kids god knows what Alphonse will do to them." 

"I hope you find my grandchildren." said Mildred "let me call U.Z.Z. and get you some back up." 

"that's not necessary" began Victor "I already have Agent Ray outside waiting to help me." 

"I thought he was on vacation" said Mildred 

"No the letter was fake he attacked and then restrained in cage under the T.H.E.M. base, I'll explain everything to both you and Anita Later." Victor gave his mom and Anita both a hug and then he was off. Victor ran outside to see who was still standing there waiting. 

"Ready to go Agent Ray" asked Victor" 

"Ready" said Ray. The both jumped on their sky bikes and were off to find Victor Jr. and Vanessa. 

"Where would Alphonse first go" Victor thought out loud. 

Victor and Ray looked right at each other and at the same time said "the abandoned art gallery." 

"It's a perfect spot" began Victor "It's abandoned so there would be no one there to stop him." 

"But if he is not there?" asked Agent Ray. 

"If he is not there the only other place I can think of is at the T.H.E.M. base because U.Z.Z. wouldn't let him bring in kids that are not his without any written consent." replied Victor. 

"Victor" began Agent Ray "Alphonse is an artist he can sculpt, paint, draw, and make music." 

"What is your point" asked Victor. 

"If he can do all of that forging your signature will surely be an easy thing for him to do" replied Agent Ray. 

"That's right" began Victor "Since everybody at U.Z.Z. thinks he is working there now they probably let him get access to any papers that have my signature on it, such as my reports and my U.Z.Z. agreement forms." 

"Exactly" began Agent Ray "all he has to do is stare at for a few minutes and then he can easily forge it, don't forget he could also learn Anita's too." Victor and Ray continued to talk wile they were riding their sky bikes to the art gallery. 

Soon Victor and Agent Ray arrived at the abandoned art gallery. They looked around and went in side but no one was there. Victor and Agent Ray jumped back on their sky bikes and started flying to the T.H.E.M. base. 

Just as Victor and Agent Ray were getting near the T.H.E.M. base. 

Victor said "lets split up I'll go check U.Z.Z and you check the T.H.E.M. base" 

"No need Victor, look" said Agent Ray. 

Victor looked to see Alphonse walking into the T.H.E.M. base with a small cage with what appeared to have two little babies inside. 

Victor's anger grew higher than it has ever grown. It was obvious who the babies were. 

Victor yelled "He put my kids in a cage." 

Victor and Agent Ray pulled out there laser guns. Victor and Agent Ray switched the motors on their sky bikes to quiet mode. 

"I've got an idea" said Victor. 

"Lay it on me" said Agent Ray. 

"Instead of us both going in the front, I'll take the front and you take the back, this way one of us can distract Alphonse and the expendables meanwhile the other can get my kids freed." 

"Good plan" said Agent Ray

"I'll be the one that distracts Alphonse and the expendables while you go and free your kids so if anything they don't capture you try to do to you what they did to me." 

"Thanks ray, you're a good friend" said Victor.

"What if you get…." ray cut victor off 

"If they try anything I'll tell them Alphonse let me out and they will be so mad at him they will forget about me and I'll be able to escape." 

"No matter what our plan is going to work" began Victor 

"okay now that we have our plan it's time to we stop Alphonse."

"Ready Ray" said Victor. 

"Ready" said Agent Ray. 

Just like before Victor and ray both looked at each other. At the same Victor and Agent Ray said "LETS DO IT."

TO BE CONTINUED…...