Sonic.exe but I wrote it from memory: Difference between revisions
Sonic.exe but I wrote it from memory (view source)
Revision as of 19:52, 24 October 2022
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(Created page with "Hi. I'm Tom. I like Sonic. I like modern Sonic. I'm fine with classic Sonic, though. I've never played glitchy or hacked games, except I did. One day, my best friend Cartman sent me a letter (an actual, physical letter, through the postal system, like a fucking troglodyte) with a CD and a note. It read: ''Dear Tom... Please destroy this disc. I can't because they/them'll notice. Happy Trails, Stan'' I then looked at the disc my best friend who I have presumably...") |
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When I hit A, the screen erupted into red (the color of BLOOD) static. Then, the zone intro played, revealing this level's name: "HILL ACT 1". The level began, and I was playing as Tails in Green Hill. A very flat Green Hill, as there was nothing to do but run forwards. The music was some reversed song, because everything's scarier when played backwards. I pressed the right arrow on my keyboard (as will become tradition around here) and commanded Tails forward. What followed was 5 minutes of jack shit happening, just a seemingly endless Green Hill to run around to my (and Tails') heart's content. I could tell this is what Tails wanted to do because his sprite looked like he was enjoying himself. Why I didn't CTRL+ALT+DEL out of this walking simulator and smash the disk like Kenny told me to, I don't know. At the end of these 5 minutes was a surprise.
The surprise was dead animals. lots of them. Disemboweled critters were scattered across the landscape, in a myriad of ways. A diorama of two Flickies ramming into a stack of Pickies, an inside out Tocky, A Clucky doing the backbreaker on a Micky, the works. This was not to my (or Tails') heart's content. I could tell because Tails' sprite was visibly shook by these gory sights. That and Tails is 8, and the most grievous injury he's probably seen beforehand is a sprained ankle. Despite my caring for Tails as a person, I pressed on just for shits and giggles. After another 5 minutes (during which there were even more unique displays of woodland atrocity I can't be fucked to describe, Tails careened to a halt upon sighting his hero, Sonic, standing in a clearing (Clearing as in "no corpses" not "no trees", there were hella trees). Sonic looked like a straight badass silently crossing his arms with his eyes closed, seemingly unaffected by the carnage. Suddenly, I decided just now that playing this game was against my best interest and I went to move Tails away. Tough titty, because the game was in a cutscene randomly. Tails walked towards Sonic for what felt like an eternity (it was actually 8 seconds, I counted), with red (the color of BLOOD) static and white noise slowly fading in as he approached. Suddenly, Sonic opened his eyes to reveal that they were black with red (the color of BLOOD) pupils, and the screen cut to black. A text box popped up in your usual Sonic font (seeing as this is a usual Sonic game), reading as follows
''Dear Tom...
Hello. Want to "play"?
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