Soniczizzle.exe: Difference between revisions

[[File:Soniczizzle.gif|thumb|205px|Artistz interpretation of Soniczizzle.]]I be a total Sonic tha Hedgehog hustla much like any suckas, I wanna bust a nut on tha newer game yo, but I don't mind playin tha classics. I don't be thinkin I've eva played glitchy or jacked game before, though I don't be thinkin I wanna play any afta tha experience I had...

It started on a sick summer afternoon, I was playin Sonic Unleashed (I was horny bout how tha fuck you git ta explore tha towns up in it) until I noticed, outta mah peripheral vision, dat tha mailman had arrived n' put suttin' up in mah mailbox as usual n' left. I paused mah game ta go peep what tha fuck I gots up in tha mail... Da only thang up in tha Mailbox was a CD case fo' computas n' a note. I took it inside.

ANY way, I looked all up in tha disc n' it be lookin like any ordinary computer CD-R disc, except it had black marker on it freestyled "SONIC.EXE", n' dat shiznit was much unlike Kylez handwriting, meanin dat he must've gotten it from one of mah thugs, like a pawn shop or eBizzle. When I saw "SONIC" on tha freestylin of tha CD, I was straight-up buckwild n' wanted ta play it, since I be a a BIG Sonic fan.

I remember what tha fuck tha image looked like up in dat split second before tha game cut ta black; Da sky had darkened, tha title emblem was rusted n' ruined, tha SEGA 1991 was now instead SEGA 666, n' tha gin n juice had turned red, like blood, except it looked hyper-realistic.

But tha freakiest thang dat was up in dat split second frame was Sonic, his wild lil' fuckin eyes was pitch black n' bleedin wit two glowin red dots starin RIGHT AT ME, n' his smile had stretched wider up ta tha edge of his wild lil' face. I was rather disturbed bout dat image when I saw it, though I figured dat dat shiznit was just a glitch n' forgot bout it fo' realz. After it cut ta black it stayed like dat fo' bout 10 secondz or so fo' realz. And then another weird thang happened, tha save file select from Sonic tha Hedgehog 3 popped up, n' I was like "WTF, biatch? Whatz dis bustin up in tha straight-up original gangsta Sonic game?", anyway, then I notice suttin' off, tha background was tha dark cloudy sky of tha Wack Stardust Speedway level from Sonic CD, n' there was only three save files. Da noize was dat creepy Cavernz of Winter noize from Earthbound, only dat shiznit was extended n' seemed ta done been up in reverse fo' realz. And tha image fo' tha save file where you peep a peepshow of tha level you on is just red static fo' all three files.

It stayed black fo' bout 7 secondz n' then white text rocked up formin a message, saying, "Hello. Do you wanna fuck wit me?"

Da noize chizzled ta dat suspenseful drownin jingle as I peep Sonic behind Tails slowly bustin up on his ass FLYING; Sonic wasn't hustlin, da thug was straight-up FLYING! Da flyin pose his sprite was makin looked straight-up similar ta Metal Sonics flyin pose up in Sonic CD, except dat shiznit was just Sonic n' dat schmoooove muthafucka had tha black n' red eyes again, only

THIS time dat schmoooove muthafucka had da most thugged-out deranged lookin grin on his wild lil' face, he looked as though da thug was trippin' off tha torment da thug was givin tha skanky lil fox as he gained up on his muthafuckin ass.

I was so shocked by what tha fuck had happened...did Sonic cappin' Tails, biatch? Fuck dat shit, his schmoooove ass couldn't have.. yo. Dude n' Tails is supposed ta be dopest playas, right, biatch? Why did Sonic do dat ta him?

Da laugh came again n' again n' again n' tha screen cut ta black again n' again n' again n' stayed there fo' another 10 seconds, dis time tha level holla'd "YOU CAN'T RUN".

Yo, suddenly as Knucklez ran, Sonic rocked up right up in front of his ass wit dem black n' red eyes n' then red static rocked up again, when tha static vanished showin not a god damn thang but black screen wit text sayin "FOuNd YOu!", I was now scared, Sonic found Knucklez already?! What was goin on?!

Was dis some kind of boss battle wit Sonic, biatch? I hoped ta Dogg it wasn't, straight-up.

Yo, suddenly Sonic rocked up right behind Knucklez up in what tha fuck rocked up ta be pixelated black smoke, I made Knucklez turn n' then punch Sonic yo, but Sonic vanished up in black pixelated smoke before I could even land a hit, dat shitty laugh went off again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then Sonic rocked up behind Knucklez again n' again n' again n' then I made his ass punch again, n' Sonic vanished again n' again n' again laughing. Knucklez was panickin even more, n' even I felt like I was goin crazy, Sonic was practically playin wit us, da thug was playin a sick twisted lil mind game wit me n' Knuckles...

Another cut scene played as Knuckled fell tha fuck ta his knees n' clutched his head sobbing, I felt his thugged-out agony, Sonic was straight-up rollin our asses BOTH crazy.

And then up in a split second Sonic lunged at Knucklez n' tha screen went black wit another distorted screechin noise dat lasted fo' at least 3 seconds.

Another text message rocked up, "So nuff souls ta play with, so lil time... would you agree?"

Their cries took a dirt nap up as I then heard Sonic laugh, his fuckin laugh... it sounded a shitload like tha distorted Kefka laugh.

Yo, suddenly, Sonic popped right up in front of Robotnik tha same way da ruffneck did Knucklez n' then red static. Da red static lasted fo' bout 15 second n' then it flossed mah crazy ass a most unpleasant image...

Da image flossed a hyper-realistic of Sonic standin up in tha darknizz where you can only peep his wild lil' grill while his head n' torso faded tha fuck into black, n' when I say hyper-realistic, I mean like he looked so real you could straight-up peep tha lines up in his blue fur, as if you could straight-up feel tha fur if you touched tha screen.

His eyes is wide n' black n' once again n' again n' again bustin up like a biatch blood (Which also looked hyper-realistic) n' there was two lil' small-ass glowin red dots up in dem black eyes starin RIGHT AT ME, as if starin tha fuck into mah mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! His grin was wide n' demonic, it literally stretched ta tha sidez of his wild lil' grill like a Cheshizzle Cat except Sonic had fangs, VERY SHARP fangs, much like tha Werehogz teeth except mo' vicious-looking, somewhat yellowish n' from tha look of it, dat schmoooove muthafucka had stainz of blood n' lil' small-ass bitz of flesh on his fuckin lips n' fangs as if he ate some animal.

"I AM GOD."

Yo, suddenly up in a actual split second I screamed as Sonic lunged all up in tha screen screechin loudly wit his crazy-ass grill wide open ta a unnatural length revealin not a god damn thang but a literally spiralin abyss of pure darknizz before tha red static came again, dis time much louder n' distorted, so bangin dat it hurt mah ears, I yelled n' grabbed mah ears as tha red static screeched fo' a phat 7 seconds.

Da Kefka laugh, now soundin mo' clear as if Sonic was right behind me, played again n' again n' again 3 times as I looked at dat text up in shock n' mad drama.

Yo, sonic is tha straight-up embodiment of evil, tha pimpin' muthafucka tortures playas whoz ass play his wild lil' freakadelic game up in mo' ways than one n' then when he gets bugged out da ruffneck drags you tha fuck into tha game, literally drags you ta Hell, where his schmoooove ass can fuck wit you always, as his cold-ass toy....

... Was a Sonic plushie, smilin wit bloodstains under its eyes.