The /x/ Pasta Collection: Difference between revisions
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===Cat's Purr===
Purring is not a cat's way of saying it's happy. That's just their way of feeding. They only eat the stuff we give them from cans and give to them as treats as a front, to make them seem like normal animals. They know we enjoy the sound of purring and it's feel, so they know it will draw us closer to them so that they can continue to quietly absorb our life energies and one day claim Earth as their own.
===Astronaut===
In 1971, a few weeks before a scheduled moon shot, an alternate astronaut was seen behaving in an erratic fashion at lunch. He arose from the table, headed over to where a group of high-ranking Air Force officers and NASA officials were eating, proceeded to lay down upon it, squeeze a thin red line of ketchup across his throat. He convulsed and wheezed to one of the officers, grabbing him by the lapels, "Don't.... order...the... swordfish." He was remanded to psychiatric care in the Pacific Northwest in a somewhat less-than-therapeutic castle moved there formerly by a robber-baron at the turn of the century. During the astronaut's stay, a new commandant came, a Marine Colonel. This colonel was found dead not long after his arrival with a single self-inflicted slash across his throat.
===Blood Bath===
If you kill a person at midwinter, and then bathe in its blood two days later you will live as long as the other person would have lived if you hadn't killed him. This only works for people of your own gender, though. Bathing in the blood of another gender will kill you, and bring the person you killed back to life for as long as you would have lived.
===Poker===
There's a tent in a travelling circus in the India. Inside this tent there's a man who is an expert in poker, you can recognize him because he always bets exactly 2 U.S. dollars and 31 cents. If you beat him after 3 rounds, he will bet his soul on the 4th round. Nobody has ever beaten this man on the 4th round, and if you lose well... You don't want to know.
===The Cries===
You're walking down your street, it's a gray, cloudy, unseasonably cold day. As the brown leaves swirl about you, you hear, faintly yet distinctly, a baby crying. As you move toward the noise, it becomes the sound of a young girl sobbing. Closer you approach the sound, and as the wind picks up, it is clearly the sound of a young woman screaming. You race toward the corner, and as you near it, the sound becomes that of an old crone choking. Then silence as you turn the corner, revealing nothing but a puddle of water on the sidewalk. As you look into the puddle, it seems your reflection is delayed by a few seconds... as if it is watching you and then mimicking you...
===The Manhole===
In a small suburb of western Detroit, there is a manhole on the road which leads directly down to a dead end. The manhole was originally a large pothole created by two fathers who'd been dared to dig a hole in the middle of the road. They hit a natural shaft leading downwards, and plummeted 200 feet to their death. Sometimes, when criminals are looking for a place to hide, the crawl into the sewers. When the crawl into that manhole, they fall to the bottom, and die.
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===Circumcision===
Circumcision is an ancient practice designed to render men immune to becoming werewolves. The first part of the body that changes during a lycanthropic transformation is the genitalia, so, if enough skin can be removed that the PENIS cannot safely sink back into the body, you will be left safe... but will have an erection all full-moon long.
===Sandwich===
Go into a Subway and tell the clerk you want to order the sandwich they'd always wished a customer would order. They will quickly, quietly, and without expression, craft the sandwich from many different ingredients. The sandwich will be the best thing you've ever tasted. This only works once per clerk. If you ask them to make it again, they will not recollect how. If you attempt to re-construct it, it will fail.
===The Woman===
There's a weird woman who is a member in a popular webcam site. At exactly 3:12AM EST she comes online to start her live show. The rumor says that there's a scar under the left nipple of this woman and if you stare at it for more than 5 minutes, you will have the most unimaginable lewd nightmares for the next 5 days.
===Bush===
There's an abandoned convenience store somewhere in Connecticut. On the basement of this building, you'll find the body of none other than the real George W. Bush preserved in a tank. It's rumored that the president used to be a laboratory chimpanzee that was subject to many horrible experiments and studies of the evolution of mankind.
[[Category:Bad Creepypasta]]
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