Star Wars Episode 1.5: Jar Jar Gone Wild: Difference between revisions
Star Wars Episode 1.5: Jar Jar Gone Wild (view source)
Revision as of 10:43, 17 June 2021
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It was a fine day on the planet of Naboo, and Jar Jar was taking a stroll through Theed with his friends, Padme, Anakin, and Obi Wan Kenobi. Anakin, however, was thinking some serious thoughts.
"Jar Jar, what if someone tries to take advantage of your innocence?
"What do yousa mean?" asked Jar Jar.
"Even though you’re a great warrior, a Sith Lord might try to take advantage of your strength and bravery someday and convince you to join them.
"No. That won’t happen to meesa. Meesa okeeday for now!" dismissed Jar Jar.
Line 23:
"Meesa called Darth Lust!"
"Meesa called Darth Pyschopath!
"And meesa called Darth Superior!"
"We are the Sith Lords of maturity! We shall take control of Jar Jar Binks and control his thoughts forever!
"Shut up, Shit Lords!
"Anakin! Watch your language!
"You can’t just hurt our friend like that!
"Oooooohhhh yeahhhh!!!!!!!! Meesa likin’ dis!" moaned the Gungan as his asshole was being torn apart by the lightsaber.
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"Dat was so hot!" moaned Jar Jar after he came all over Padme.
"See? Our plan is working perfectly!
Next, Jar Jar walked to Lake Paonga and swam to Otoh Gunga naked. Everyone else gasped in SHOCK! He then grabbed a gooberfish and shoved it onto his penis, moaning in pleasure as its mouth sucked on his dick. "Dat was fun!
But then, Captain Tarpals appeared!
Line 49:
"Jar Jar, yousa cannot show yous private parts in public! Isa bad reputation for our city!" he said stupidly and moronically.
"Stupid authority figures! Yousa have no control over us!
"You made Jar Jar a murderer! You should be ashamed of yourselves!
"But dat’s just dha beginning of our
Boss Nass and his representatives were walking to where Jar Jar was standing. He got absolutely shocked at all the destruction and the fact that Jar Jar Binks was naked!
Line 63:
"What do you think you're doing!?" asked Padme.
"Meesa gonna fuck ebbybody! Starting with da Bosses!
"Now, Jar Jar will loose his virginity and have sex with everyone on the planet of Naboo!
Jar Jar then kissed Boss Nass. Boss Nass was very eager to be doing this, he did not care one bit for Jar Jar as a person, he only wanted sex from him ever since Jar Jar became a productive member of society. Now, all those years paid off and he was having sex with him, and Boss Nass’ Gungan representatives were MASTURBATING furiously.
Line 81:
Inside the black hole, there was a place that looked like an abandoned version of Corusant. From the Jedi Temple came an evil laugh, and a green, pointy eared creature wearing a black robe walked out of there. It was... YODA! He had become a Sith Lord, too!
"Join me in hell, you petty Jedi should!
And so our story ends with Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker being taken to the darkest depths of hell and righteously suffering for ten thousand years. Darth Lust, Darth Superior, and Darth Psychopath, however, didn’t suffer and continued to torture Anakin and Obi Wan Kenobi as they truly deserved. As for Jar Jar Binks, he became the Sith Lord known as Darth Rapist, and raped innocent people and Jedi. Padme was saddened by Jar Jar’s choice to join the Dark Side, and after she was raped by him, she resigned from her position as the Queen of Naboo. Boss Nass became Darth Jar Jar’s apprentice, while the Gungans became sex-crazed creatures due to Jar Jar mind controlling all the Gungans in the galaxy, and they all had orgies happily ever after.
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