Taking a shit in the middle of a store: Difference between revisions
Taking a shit in the middle of a store (view source)
Revision as of 22:13, 22 August 2023
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(Created page with "{{Note|This is a fictional copypasta... obviously.}} AITA for taking a shit in the middle of Dillard’s because God told me to? I (46M) have always been a very spiritual person, and enjoy experimenting with different ways to reach higher states of mind. One day after some research on spiritual/metaphysical focused internet forums, I learned that some kinds of drugs can induce a more divine understanding of the universe when in effect. One of the drugs listed was Benad...") |
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{{Note|This is a fictional copypasta... obviously.}}
AITA for taking a shit in the middle of
I (46M) have always been a very spiritual person, and enjoy experimenting with different ways to reach higher states of mind. One day after some research on spiritual/metaphysical focused internet forums, I learned that some kinds of drugs can induce a more divine understanding of the universe when in effect. One of the drugs listed was Benadryl, which I happened to have in my house thanks to allergy season. That night I decided to try it out. I took about 40 pills to be sure I was going to experience the fullest effect.
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Naturally, the Benadryl did what it does best and made me fall asleep very quickly. I remember I was dreaming quite vividly when a large man (∞M) with a perm, a bright sparkly blue suit, and white sparkly cowboy boots approached me. He told me he was God. I was flabbergasted and expressed in every way I could how honored I felt to be in his presence. The man then silenced me and informed me that he beckoned me here because there was a sacred prophecy that needed to be fulfilled, and that I was the Chosen One. He told me that the only way for the prophecy to be fulfilled was to take a shit on the floor in the middle of a random department store. I graciously accepted and he sent me on my way.
I squatted down on the cold linoleum tile, and fulfilled the prophecy. I stood up and stared at the newly formed religious symbol, unsure of what was to happen next. I noticed several employees walking towards me. I presumed them to be acolytes preparing to bathe me in wine and adorn me in the finest garments. Apparently I was wrong about that and they kicked me out of the store and called the police. I am currently writing this from jail while awaiting a response from my lawyer.
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