Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii goes On a Computer: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
At the end of the school's semester, I burnt all my textbooks. I can't read so it was the simplest thing I could do.
(Note that since I live in my mother's basement I had her write this story).
I started off with Science
I carefully put it in a dusty old drawer in the attic, setting the top on a pillow and then a blanket to keep it warm. One day my dad said 1+1=2, but I took out my textbook to prove him wrong. As I flipped the pages open, I saw my teacher's note on Page 68 reading: "My husband's away for the weekend. Please come
I said it out loud.
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I got into the attic while listening to Daft Punk's ''Get Lucky'' on my iPod; sadly I misheard the background vocals, ''We're up all night to get lucky'' for ''We rob a Mexican monkey''.
When I finally laid my hands on the compact disk, however, I soon noticed that all was written on it read: Chatroom 98 in permanent marking...(again my idiot instincts took over and since "chat" means "cat" in French, I thought it was about the 98th clowder
Once I put the disk in my laptop, a mid-sized white chatroom spawned. It reminded me of MSN Messenger, only the two boxes where you'd normally see your
No one typed yet so I randomly entered, "(*&%^&#!^&%#*)))" (it was at that moment that I called my dog; dogs are smarter than humans, which explains why I can't read).▼
▲I randomly entered, "(*&%^&#!^&%#*)))" (it was at that moment that I called my dog; dogs are smarter than humans, which explains why I can't read).
To my surprise, Mu'''ñ'''anas #3 started a conversation with me. I suspected it was one of these highly-developed Internet AIs considering how old the CD was.
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Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: How old are you? 69, 68, 70 and do you have any family?
Me: I was born in 1666, I have three brothers; one is a bitchgoblet, the other is a midget; while the last went
Mu'''ñ'''anas #3: Have they ever
Me: LOL yep? Richard has HIV, the other two went to Helsinki?
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I did as I was told, expecting all but a mere joke, but it wasn't quite the truth. After a full swivel with my chair from my part, I saw something horrific.
Right on my screen was a man's face
IT WAS JOHN MADDEN!!! HE WAS HOLDING A FOOTBALL IN HIS LEFT HAND!!!▼
▲MADDEN!!! HE WAS HOLDING A FOOTBALL IN HIS LEFT HAND!!!
Then, it happened. I heard him saying, "Hey Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, wanna play NFL 2015?" As a hockey fan I couldn't help it but smash my computer and kill myself.
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Finally, when my nightmare was over, I woke up to the sound of something roll under my bed. It was the Stanley Cup with a note reading,
<blockquote><i>
"To: Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii
So I guess, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to jump from this building's third story and
▲"From: John Madden 2015."
</i></blockquote>
▲So I guess, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to jump from this building's third story and -- oh boy. Clowder 98's a-comin'. They're all chanting "Meow, meow".
I see something in the window's reflection.
I don't have time to finish the story as I realize that my mom was a cat all along.
{{by-user|PromoKitty}}
[[Category:Trollpasta]]▼
[[Category:Satire]]
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:COMPUTERS AND INTERWEBZ]]
▲[[Category:Trollpasta]]
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