The Fall of Burger King: Difference between revisions
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{{JOKE}}
{{AN|This story is a funnypasta and is purely fictional. It is therefore not intended to be taken seriously whatsoever. With that being said, I hope you enjoy and please make sure to leave your thoughts and feelings in the comment section down below.}}▼
▲{{AN|This story is a funnypasta and is purely fictional and written for entertainment purposes. It is therefore not intended to be taken seriously whatsoever. With that being said, I hope you enjoy and please make sure to leave your thoughts and feelings in the comment section down below.}}
I'm sure that everyone of us here has been to Burger King at least once in our lives. I mean let's be honest here people; Burger King is probably one of the most famous and successful fast food restaurants there is. Some people would even be tempted to argue that it's better than McDonalds and KFC or even Jack In The Box. Now, I myself personally believe that there will never be a fast food joint which could even think of possibly rivalling Jack In The Box, but if there was to be one I would be happy for it to be Burger King. However, much like Jack In The Box, in recent years, Burger King has been seeing a massive spike in their stocks. People just aren't buying their whoppers ya know? Their advertising campaigns have also suffered greatly, and have become nothing more than week old pugwash which appeals to no one in particular.
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Due to a recent influx of robberies combined with the fear of Ronald McDonald and another fast food company sending a mole into his organization, the King had began employing a family of bears to guard all of his restaurants. The bears were incredibly aggressive, and the King was the only person on this world who could control them. Though he disliked and feared the bears, the King knew that their fearsome reputation which strike fear into the hearts of all Burger King's enemies. During the 1990's, the King had introduced a curfew which stated that customers needed to be out of the restaurant by 23.30. Well on Saturdays it was midnight, but whatever this story isn't about Saturday. I mean how could you make a story all about a day? That would be fucking stupid! The curfew was followed loyally for the most part, until one night some dodgy looking teenage hoods decided to stay at the restaurant after closing. The Burger King Kids Club were also there due to them wanting to clean the dishes in order to impress the King. Not really sure how that would impress him, but whatever just roll with it, Lower your suspension of disbelief and then you can go on forever.
Upon noticing the teenage hoods, the Kids tried to sneak up on them. However, that's when the bear family came in after just attended a seminar up at Chester University. Upon noticing the bears, the hoods carried out in terror, and were able to get out of the restaurant just in time. Once outside, one of the hoods placed a chair in front of the front door in order to prevent the bears from getting out onto the streets. I don't think that would be enough to hold back three incredibly powerful and pissed off bears, but whatever who am I to judge eh? "We are the Burger King Kids Club and we are here to defeat...
The 1990's were finally over, and the King had finally began appearing in adverts again. He starred in a commercial with Samuel L Jackson. However, the final product was eventually scrapped and Samuel was replaced with an ITV extra after he had a falling out with the King. In the advert, Samuel L Jackson and the King were playing basketball in a smelly gym, however Jackson becomes distracted by a huge tray of food placed onto the bleachers. He ran over to the bleachers, and picked one of the whoppers up with his mighty Samuel L Jackson hands and bit into it. His face became red with fury as he yelled, "enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking whoppers in this motherfucking adverts!" He then proceeded to throw the half eaten whopper at the King's face who responded to this by sinking to the floor and sobbing heavily into his knees. This was certainly not the King of the 1950's and 60's. He was nothing more than a shameless sell out now. However, all was not lost as the 2000's brought about one of the most shocking betrayals in our lifetime. So shocking that it's honestly a wonder that Watchmojo didn't include it on their top 10 anime betrayals list. Get your tissues out people cause this is going to be a sad one I assure you!
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And so there you have it, looks like justice is blind. Cue the saucy music. So anyways, that's the story behind the downfall of Burger King. The King was once an idealist, but as the years went on he was forced to abandon his ideals. See; I think the problem was... is that the King wasn't ready to accept the world for what it was. He wanted to be a somebody, but he was held back in life by corrupt sons of Magra like Karl Strauss and Mr Parks. Perhaps if he had played his cards a bit more carefully and remained an excellent judge of character, the entire thing could have been avoided, and the King would still be appearing in adverts for Burger King to this very day. However, after I finish recounting this tale, I begin to wonder if any other fast food joints have suffered the same fate as Burger King. It is possible after all we do live in a world of fools who are breaking us down, when in reality they should just let us be. I got to go now dear for my wife has gotten home from the store. It's time for me tea. I think I'm going to help myself to a whopper, and maybe just maybe a cheeky little side of chicken French fries!
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