The Goblin Conspiracy: Difference between revisions
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The Goblin Conspiracy
Hello. My name is Bob and I am a Goblinologist. Now this may sound like
Goblins are a difficult subject mainly because they cover their fucked-up faces with the socks they steal. They have been sighted by millions around the world and there have been countless vicious attacks on unsuspecting members of the public planned out by the Goblin Council. But the Illuminati has been covering it up in the media by calling them Mexicans. So this proves that Donald Trump knows about them and is trying to get them out of America. He wants to build a wall to keep the Goblins out.
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Anyway, enough about Donald Trump. This is my story about my encounter with a Master Goblin and his army of Goblin Children.
It was a sunny day in Philadelphia Chinatown. I was getting my noodle flavoured vape juice and bootleg vape accessories because
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So I was testing out my new custom vape pen when I heard a scratching behind me. I passed it off as a glitch and continued into the crossfit building just outside of Chinatown. I got into the building when I was greeted with a basket of assorted vegan snacks. I ate one and told everyone in the building I was vegan. I was expecting them to give me a medal for doing such an amazing feat. WHY
After I was congratulating myself for a good vape sesh and being vegan, I heard a scratching noise again. Turns out I left my sock on vibrate mode again. How could I be so foolish?
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"YOU DIRTY FUCKER" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I lunged at the tiny creature. The goblin leapt up and scurried off through the gates of Hell. A.K.A reception. I followed him through a hole in the computer. I passed it off as a glitch and continued on. I opened my eyes and I was in Goblin Land. It was raining blood and there were millions of little grubby goblins vaping. They had made sick custom vape pens out of stolen socks. Turns out they wanted my socks because they were so particularly crusty from my sweaty pores that they wanted to use them to build the best Goblin vape pens.
Maybe these guys
But then they stole my noodle vape juice.
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Those little bastards stole my custom bootleg vape pen. That shit cost me five thousand dollars (not tree fiddy fuck you Nessie).
Because they stole my priceless vape pen I
I went insane. I went on a massive rampage and squashed all of their little faces in. But before I could kill the last one to get my vape pen back, he snapped it.
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I woke up the next morning. I went to get dressed and got ready for my morning jog to the vape store in Chinatown. But I opened my sock drawer only to find every single sock I have ever owned missing. Just gone.
Those little bastards. But then I realised that I had killed all of them yesterday. But then Donald Trump came down into my apartment in a black CIA helicopter and told me that all Mexican citizens were actually many goblins standing up on each
Wow. I actually
Donald Trump also explained to me how Goblins are the root of all negative things: Rape, murder and high crime rates to name a few.
"
Mr. Trump handed me an AR-15 and told me that we would be landing in Mexico city in 4 hours and to get ready to commence operation F.A.G.G.O.T.
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"Yes sir!" I proclaimed as I saluted him.
"Keep that up and soon
We flew off into the sunset as the sun slowly morphed into Donald
The End.
And the Goblins will get you if you
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