The Greatest Trollpasta Ever: Difference between revisions

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Content added Content deleted
VisualWikitext
imported>CreepJohn
(Created page with "==Chapter 1== It all started on a monday afternoon. I was in my bedroom playing this weird Pokemon game entilled 'Pokemon Death Version 666' that was given to me for free by s...")
 
imported>CreepJohn
m (A few grammatical corrections.)
Line 1: Line 1:
==Chapter 1==
==Chapter 1==
It all started on a monday afternoon. I was in my bedroom playing this weird Pokemon game entilled 'Pokemon Death Version 666' that was given to me for free by some weird guy in a garage sale. Anyway, after about two hours (according to my stopwatch) I got bored of the game and proceeded to surf the Internet on my computer. I then began to masturbate to this erotic fan fiction I wrote that I posted on Devianart featuring Mario, Captian Falcon, Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, Goku, Big Macintosh, Lord Zedd from Power Rangers, Colonel Sanders, Squidward Tentacles, Professor Oak, Stan Pines from Gravity Falls and several famous creepypasta characters such as Sonic.exe, Slenderman, Tails Doll, Happy Appy, and the Rake. "Oh fuck yeah!" I shouted, as I stroked my tiny garden hose back and fourth with erotic passion. Just when I was about to finish, all of a sudden Laughing Jack burst through my window with an evil smile on his face. However, his face quickly turned into disguest as he saw my little tank sticking out into the air.
It all started on a monday afternoon. I was in my bedroom playing this weird Pokemon game entilled 'Pokemon Death Version 666' that was given to me for free by some weird guy in a garage sale. Anyway, after about two hours (according to my stopwatch) I got bored of the game and proceeded to surf the Internet on my computer. I then began to masturbate to this erotic fan fiction I wrote that I posted on Devianart featuring Mario, Captian Falcon, Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, Goku, Big Macintosh, Lord Zedd from Power Rangers, Colonel Sanders, Squidward Tentacles, Professor Oak, Stan Pines from Gravity Falls and several famous creepypasta characters such as Sonic.exe, Slenderman, Tails Doll, Happy Appy, and the Rake. "Oh fuck yeah!" I shouted, as I stroked my tiny garden hose back and fourth with erotic passion. Just when I was about to finish, all of a sudden Laughing Jack burst through my window with an evil smile on his face. However, his face quickly turned into disgust as he saw my little tank sticking out into the air.


"Would you like to take my virginity and lick my pink helmet cutie?" I said to him. 
"Would you like to take my virginity and lick my pink helmet cutie?" I said to him. 
Line 6: Line 6:
Laughing Jack replied in disgust, "What? Hell no. I'm here to kill you. Now put some pants on you freak."
Laughing Jack replied in disgust, "What? Hell no. I'm here to kill you. Now put some pants on you freak."


"But aren't you a psychotic killer? Come on, you can do anyhting you want with my body. No one will ever have know." I rebuttled.
"But aren't you a psychotic killer? Come on, you can do anything you want with my body. No one will ever have know." I rebutted.


Laughing Jack said, "I may be crazy in the head but I do have my standards. Now put your pants on so that your death won't be so awkward."
Laughing Jack said, "I may be crazy in the head but I do have my standards. Now put your pants on so that your death won't be so awkward."


But before Laughing Jack can lay a finger on me, all of a sudden I heard a flashing sound and before I knew what was happening a Delorean crahed into my room hitting Laughing Jack and killing him instantly in a hyper-realisitc fashion. The door of the Delorean opned up and it was Doc Brown and Marty McFly in the car. 
But before Laughing Jack can lay a finger on me, all of a sudden I heard a flashing sound and before I knew what was happening a Delorean crahed into my room hitting Laughing Jack and killing him instantly in a hyper-realisitc fashion. The door of the Delorean opened up and it was Doc Brown and Marty McFly in the car. 


"Get in the car and pull your pants up. The world needs you!" yelled Doc Brown.
"Get in the car and pull your pants up. The world needs you!" yelled Doc Brown.


"This is just like my sexy fan ficiton!" I yelled like a fangirl.
"This is just like my sexy fan fiction!" I yelled like a fangirl.


I was in the car and as the car pulled out from my damaged room, we went 88 miles per hour in midair and went to the year 3000 where a battle of apocalyptic proportions would soon take place.
I was in the car and as the car pulled out from my damaged room, we went 88 miles per hour in midair and went to the year 3000 where a battle of apocalyptic proportions would soon take place.
Line 44: Line 44:
"Naked bald men, my greatest weakness." said Red as he was aroused by Mr. Clean's sexy naked body. 
"Naked bald men, my greatest weakness." said Red as he was aroused by Mr. Clean's sexy naked body. 


Mr. Clean then used his waterbedning (yes Mr. Clean is a waterbender, deal with it) and covered Red's body in ice which eventually killed off Red. 
Mr. Clean then used his waterbending (yes Mr. Clean is a waterbender, deal with it) and covered Red's body in ice which eventually killed off Red. 


As Red was beginning to die from being in the ice, his head broke free and said his final words, "Even though this is a pretty crappy way to go out, seeing a bald man's naked body was totally worth it."
As Red was beginning to die from being in the ice, his head broke free and said his final words, "Even though this is a pretty crappy way to go out, seeing a bald man's naked body was totally worth it."


After Red died the only opponent left was Kim Jong-un. And what did I do the whole time during the first half of the fight? I was too busy masturbating becasue this battle is so hot. 
After Red died the only opponent left was Kim Jong-un. And what did I do the whole time during the first half of the fight? I was too busy masturbating because this battle is so hot. 
==Chapter 3==
==Chapter 3==
My team were giving all of their strength to fight Kim Jong-un. As I was standing there doing nothing when Marty McFly began yelling in the distance saying, "Hey, get out there and fight you pansy!" For some reason you can't disobey a guy wearing an orange life jacket. Anyway, I steped into the arena and got my team to come together and discuss our game plan. 
My team were giving all of their strength to fight Kim Jong-un. As I was standing there doing nothing when Marty McFly began yelling in the distance saying, "Hey, get out there and fight you pansy!" For some reason you can't disobey a guy wearing an orange life jacket. Anyway, I steped into the arena and got my team to come together and discuss our game plan. 
Line 74: Line 74:
Hey cutie, do you want to fool around?" I said.
Hey cutie, do you want to fool around?" I said.


This gave Kim Jong-un an errection. 
This gave Kim Jong-un an erection. 


However, Kim Jong-un's perverted nature quickly betrayed him as the Ninja Megazord attacked him and left him in a very critical state of weakness.
However, Kim Jong-un's perverted nature quickly betrayed him as the Ninja Megazord attacked him and left him in a very critical state of weakness.
Line 80: Line 80:
I then pulled my skirt up and I reached for my tiara on my head.
I then pulled my skirt up and I reached for my tiara on my head.


I then threw the tirara and yelled, "Moon Tiara Magic!" 
I then threw the tiara and yelled, "Moon Tiara Magic!" 


This then turned the weakned Kim Jong-un into dust and just like that the battle was over.
This then turned the weakened Kim Jong-un into dust and just like that the battle was over.


Sure the battle may have been anti-climatic. But it was anti-climatic in a very sexy fansion.
Sure the battle may have been anti-climatic. But it was anti-climatic in a very sexy fashion.
==Chapter 4==
==Chapter 4==
After the battle, Mr. Clean, Avatar Kyoshi, the Nostalgia Critic, Dex Dogtective, Bugs Bunny, and Elvis Presley came to congratulate me on my work. I told my last goodbyes to my team of heroes before I went back to my own time in the Delorean. Doc Brown and Marty dropped me off by my house (still damaged from before). 
After the battle, Mr. Clean, Avatar Kyoshi, the Nostalgia Critic, Dex Dogtective, Bugs Bunny, and Elvis Presley came to congratulate me on my work. I told my last goodbyes to my team of heroes before I went back to my own time in the Delorean. Doc Brown and Marty dropped me off by my house (still damaged from before). 
Line 94: Line 94:
This is what the letter read:
This is what the letter read:


''Dear freaskish pervert,''
''Dear freakish pervert,''


''       If you think I'm gone then guess again. I'm still here. ''''Believe it or not I actually survived being hit by that random flying car. Anyways, I'll come back to finish the job and this time keep your goddamn pants up. I don't want to see your flag rasing up the next time we meet face to face. Also, make sure your refrigerator is stocked with beer becasue I can get thirsty at times. ''
''       If you think I'm gone then guess again. I'm still here. 'Believe it or not I actually survived being hit by that random flying car. Anyways, I'll come back to finish the job and this time keep your goddamn pants up. I don't want to see your flag raising up the next time we meet face to face. Also, make sure your refrigerator is stocked with beer because I can get thirsty at times. ''


''     Signed, ''
''     Signed, ''
Retrieved from "https://trollpasta.com/wiki/The_Greatest_Trollpasta_Ever"