The Horror of the Burger King Jingle: Difference between revisions
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{{NSFW}}
My name is Ryuko Matoi and
It was just a normal day down in Bumblyburg. I was currently sitting in my car, eating the most sacred of all delicacies, the Whopper.
As I ate my delicious food, I heard a song on the radio. It was a catchy little jingle which ended with the slogan
I thought it was a decent little song, but
This was a huge mistake.
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I entered the operating room and prepared to greet my patient, Nonon Jakazure, with the promise of a fantastically stylish abortion.
I put on a backwards hat, sunglasses, and began drinking a can of Surge Soda as I said
What Nonon said next shocked me to my very core.
Instead of nodding her head and saying yes like a good abortion client, she just opened her mouth and said
I was taken off guard. Why would she sing the jingle to Burger King when
I pulled out my abortionzooka and said
As her charred corpse fell to the ground, I stuck out my hand and said "that will be 500 dollars."
After I finished my workday at the hospital, I prepared to go home, but before I did, I waved goodbye to my boss, Mako Makanshoku, and said
Mako opened her mouth and said
I was taken aback by that response. I was about to respond, but then I just figured that she had Aspergers or some shit like that, so I got in my car and began driving home.
I turned on the radio and luckily, they were playing music by my favorite band, Motley Crue, but instead of one of their usual songs, they just began singing
Now I knew something was up. Why would Motley Crue sing about Burger King? This had to be investigated further.
I began turning the radio to different stations, but no matter where I turned it to, all I heard was
Finally,
I arrived at the building and sat down with my therapist, Satsuki Kiryuin, in an attempt to see if I was going mad or not.
I said to her
Satsuki thought for a second before saying
I immediately pulled out my scissor blade and chopped
I then opened the door and walked out of the building in style and grace. As I was making my way to my car, I was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled into a dark alley.
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Standing in front of me, breathing heavily, was Kermit the Frog.
I said to Kermit
Kermit just said
Kermit the Frog then pinned me down to the ground and
Eventually, he ejaculated a stream of strawberry syrup into me before turning into a Pop-Tart and flying away.
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The process involved a lot of yelling, screaming, and a surprising amount of yodeling, but eventually, my baby had been born.
The doctors asked me if I wanted to see my child and I said
I smiled as I held onto its little body, but my motherly warmth soon turned to horror as I looked into its eyes and found myself staring face to face with a BK Whopper!
All the doctors clapped while chanting
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Pointless Violence]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
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