The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker-Upper: Difference between revisions

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[[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
[[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:Vidya games]]
[[Category:YOU'RE NEXT]]
[[Category:POINTLESS VIOLENCE TOTALLY MAKES IT SCARY U GUIZE]]

Revision as of 20:50, 28 August 2014

It was your typical lazy summer evening: Humid outside, street lights and lightning bugs illuminating the front yard and a cold eight-ounce glass of lemonade in my hand.

As with each Wednesday, my family was to attend a Church-related event.  However, I did not go with them this night.  I was not ill or anything, I simply was not in the mood.  Thankfully, mom understood and I had the house all to myself.

Bored, I decided to play a video game.  Shifting through the games, nothing stuck out, as it was mostly old Wii and PS2 games.  Then, I spotted it: My brother's brand new copy of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD for the Wii U.  It was still in its plastic wrap and everything.

I picked it up, only to notice a sticky note on the back.  It has a short message from my brother written on it: "Do not play this game, I am returning it tomorrow. There's something spooky about it."  His words carried no verisimilitude for me, as I was sure he just wanted to be the first in our household to see the Wink Waker in glorious HD.

Being the naive teenage boy that I am, I promptly rolled my eyes, tore off the plastic and threw it on the floor and popped that disk into the Wii U.

Immediately, the game started.  No title screen, no music, no anything.  Link lay supine at the top of the tower on Outset Island.  A heavy pouring rain, as hard as when you meet Quill at Greatfish Isle, was making the game dark, not its usual brightly-colored cheery self in the beginning.

Slowly Link stood up, clad in drenched Hero's Clothes, with his back to me, the player.  There was no music, only a creepy silence.  Feeling slightly nervous, I pounded the buttons on my GameCube controller, but the obstinate game would not skip the scene.  Instead, Link finished standing.  Now fully erect, he about-faced and was looking directly at me.  Startled, my body jumped slightly,

Link continued to peer at me, showing no emotion.  He reached behind him and pulled out the Wind Waker.  He brought the wand up to his face and played a small, errie tune.  The song?  The song of the Wind Waker-Upper!

A ReDead sprouted from the ground, and made its way inside Link's Grandmother's house.  It didn't take long for two loud screams to emit from the dwelling, then it went silent.  The door quickly flew open, and the ReDead emerged, carrying the corpses of Link's Grandma and Aryll.

Link had a small smirk on his face, then a completely insane, evil smile as he raised the Wind Waker and played the song again, and again, and again.  Link showed no leniency as with each time he played the song, another murderous ReDead was awakened.  The screams of the citizens of Outset was deafening, but it didn't last long, as within ten minutes every living person and animal on the small island was dead.

I picked up a Wii remote and pointed it at the television, intent on ending the carnage by turning the Wii U off.  As I pressed the button down, in those few intermediate seconds, Link just chuckled and proclaimed:

"Can't wait until the next player.  The larger population of Windfall Island will be lots more fun."

The Wii U powered down, and I ejected the game from it.  I put it back in its box, and knew it would be a painful wait until he returned it.