The Lost Episode of Wheel of Fortune: Difference between revisions
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At first, I thought it was just a black box with some decaying earthworms inside of it from science class, but no, it was a VHS tape alright. I didn't even bother to wonder how a VHS tape got there, or why a kid in the year 2013 would be carrying a VHS tape around, but yeah. 'The Lost Episode of Wheel Fortune', it read in bold and italicized size 16 Comic Sans font on the side, both regularly and upside down, in English, Russian, and a hieroglyphic looking language of eyes and pyramids and stuff. I couldn't contain my joy. In fact, I figured it was a gift for me, given that the eyes and pyramids were reflective of my native language. I guess they figured I'd notice it because of the vomit lying next to it. I threw down my mop and left the bucket alone with the watery vomit mix still inside, not thrown away... and I ran home to enjoy one of my favorite TV shows of all-time.
It was about a 3 1/2 to 4 mile run back to my boarded up apartment, but I could use the exercise. Cafeteria food is mostly pizza and fries these days, and it put 30 or 40 pounds on me this past school year, so I'm pretty overweight. Man, doesn't anybody care about these kids these days? ... Anyway, this meant I abandoned my job and would be regarded as quitting, but I felt... possessed, almost. I had to know what was on that tape, immediately. I felt that it was probably left there by the principal or some other higher up, so it should be okay if I ran home and watched it, right?
Once I got home, I dusted off my VCR. An old Richard Simmons workout tape was in the slot, but Richard Simmons looked a little strange on it. He looked... disheveled. Regardless, I threw Richard Simmons in the wastebasket and popped in 'The Lost Episode of Wheel of Fortune'. I grabbed some pepperoni pizza hot pockets, ice water, and a hot fudge sundae from the fridge, and then I lifted my finger and pressed play on the VCR remote. Little did I know that this would be the last time I would ever watch a VHS tape.
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