The Many Universe Spook
"What the fuck?!" I shouted, the beginning of the story surprising me. I was playing Pokemon Crystal, my meganium strangling my rival's typhlosion, so a story starting was probably the most startling thing in the world. "Who the hell is talking?" I demanded, because the narrator had forgotten to turn off text to speech. Just then, my cat threw up a literal ocean onto the floor. I began to clean up the kitty vomit, when I noticed an SD card lying next to it. Seeing this next to some cat vomit, I immediately thought this must be a gift from Donald Trump. After inserting it into my laptop, I checked the contents. The only files were an image and a text document.
I looked at the image first. My palm made contact with my face once I saw the "horror" that displayed in front of me. I didn't know who would think of doing something like that to that poor Typhlosion. but just then, it occured to me that the meganium had the same name, gender, and (at the time) level as the one I had in my run of Crystal. I pulled up my emulator to see that my meganium had a different attack as it's first attack than the attack that was it's first attack. Attack attack attack. The attack was called 'Rape'.
I was literally triggered.
The gun that materialized due to the literal triggering became used and I dodged the bullet. I recycled the kodak pistol and walked back to my laptop. The game had automatically used rape while I was gone, and the screen turned into a salad of blood, rape, and the devil.
Many stopwatches later, I checked the text file. All it contained was as follows: 37.240345, -121.871048
It only took |-0.1| seconds for it to register in my mind that these were coordinates. I asked my friend Mika (Who I named my meganium after because I was told to by the voices in my head.) if I could borrow her pet dragon, Dragony (Who she named after her sylveon who she had named after her friend, Dragony. (Who was named by her father due to the fact that she could spew fire from her mammary glands and could fly using her sixteen full metal mouse tails because her mother was a cyborg rat force-bred with a steroid infused, morbidly obese man who was her father.))
It was a lake that rested at the coordinates. The lake was really tired, so it was still resting there after all those years. Dragony dive-bombed into the lake, someone on the sidelines made a 9/11 joke, and i found a flash drive and a Chinpokomon inside a ufo that we got into due to Dragony having alien technology stuck up her rectum. As I rode Dragony back up to the surface, the 9/11 joke making man actually used a huge time portal to cause 9/11. I shot a ball of energy out of my anklet that turned into a portal that led back home. Dragony turned into an Arwing and we used the boost to get through.
I was almost home, but then, I heard my rival. "Can't let you do that, dicklips!" he yelled. He immediately sent out his typhlosion, who was wearing an eyepatch, due to my meganium ripping out it's eye and swallowing it. It also had bandaging around it's neck, due to my meganium slitting it's throat. "What's with the Star Fox reference, asshat? Been fapping to Krystal?" I yelled back. "Go fucking die!" he whispered directly inside of my ear. I took out my megaphone and screamed at the top of my lungs, directly into his ear: "WANNA GO M8?" He recoiled back long enough for me to teleport home along with Dragony.
[End part one]
Part two coming soon!