The Quest for the Sacred Onion: Difference between revisions

 

Gather round, children, I'm going to tell you a story. A story about how I found, the SACRED ONION. The artifact of doom.

 

It all started in the year 2015. I was sitting alone at my desk, idly browsing the internet. I eventually came across a download link that read "ONIONMAP.PNG". Curious, I downloaded it, checked it for viruses, and, when the scan finished, opened up the folder. Inside were two files. One was "ONIONMAP.PNG", and the other was "gotcha.txt". I opened up gotcha, and it simply read "Found you!". I chuckled, thinking it was just a joke, and closed Notepad. I finally got to the titular ONIONMAP, and opened it up. Inside was a map of the world, with a line connecting two different locations. The starting circle was placed over my state, and the X placed right on top of Achinsk, Russia. I was about to just write it off as a practical joke, when I heard a loud THUMP behind my house.

I dashed to my window, and looked outside. There stood five men, dressed in tuxedos. Each of them wore a particularly nice looking pair of Ray-Bans. Upon closer inspection, I finally figured out their identities. It was my 5 favorite Youtubers! Mutahar, Pewdiepie, Markiplier, Jontron and SammyClassicSonicFan all stood there, motionless, wielding UMP-45s. I shakily opened my door, and stepped outside.

 

 

I am so, so happy.

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