The Reaping: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Grim Reaper.jpg|thumb|Me, in all my authentic glory.]] |
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You wake up. You get out of bed. You brush your teeth. You make breakfast. You put out food and water for your pet cat, Cthulhu. You named it Cthulhu because of your apparent obsession with H. P. Lovecraft, which still doesn't explain why you named your cat after a fucking octopus monster. By the way, did you know that H. P. Lovecraft was a cat-lover? Isn't that ''interesting''? You certainly seem to think so. You find it ''so'' interesting, in fact, that you almost forget how utterly boring and empty your pathetic excuse for a life is. Hey, speaking of your life, I don't think I've introduced myself yet! I am '''Death'''. |
You wake up. You get out of bed. You brush your teeth. You make breakfast. You put out food and water for your pet cat, Cthulhu. You named it Cthulhu because of your apparent obsession with H. P. Lovecraft, which still doesn't explain why you named your cat after a fucking octopus monster. By the way, did you know that H. P. Lovecraft was a cat-lover? Isn't that ''interesting''? You certainly seem to think so. You find it ''so'' interesting, in fact, that you almost forget how utterly boring and empty your pathetic excuse for a life is. Hey, speaking of your life, I don't think I've introduced myself yet! I am '''Death'''. |
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"Who are you?" you ask. |
"Who are you?" you ask. |
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"Don't you pay attention? |
"Don't you pay attention? I already covered this in the first paragraph. It's even bolded, for Christ's sake!" |
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"What?" |
"What?" |
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"No, I'm here to take your soul." |
"No, I'm here to take your soul." |
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"Oh, well that's ni-wait, what? My ''soul''?" |
"Oh, well, that's ni- wait, what? My ''soul''?" |
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"Yes." |
"Yes, your soul." |
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"Why?" |
"Why?" |
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"Nice to meet you!" |
"Nice to meet you!" |
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" |
"All right, enough of this. Let's-" |
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"WAIT!" |
"WAIT!" |
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"Being dead is the only way you ''can'' talk to me, actually." |
"Being dead is the only way you ''can'' talk to me, actually." |
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"Oh, okay |
"Oh, okay!" |
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So you happily agree to come along with me into a dark alleyway, where I reveal that it was all a trick designed to lure you into my trap! Then I realize I forgot to actually set up the trap, so instead I brutally murder you and burn down your house. |
So you happily agree to come along with me into a dark alleyway, where I reveal that it was all a trick designed to lure you into my trap! Then I realize I forgot to actually set up the trap, so instead I brutally murder you and burn down your house. |
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THEN CTHULHU THE CAT POPPED OUT AND CLAWED OUT MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MY EYESAAAAAHHVICIGXURASUGCOJVOHCUFZUFXGIXIGCXGXLCOHFIYFizded |
THEN CTHULHU THE CAT POPPED OUT AND CLAWED OUT MY EYES MY EYES MY EYES MY EYESAAAAAHHVICIGXURASUGCOJVOHCUFZUFXGIXIGCXGXLCOHFIYFizded |
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[[Category:WHAT A TWIST!]] |
[[Category:WHAT A TWIST!]] |
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[[Category:Im died]] |
[[Category:Im died]] |
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[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]] |
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]] |
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[[Category:Well, that was pointless.]] |
[[Category:Well, that was pointless.]] |
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[[Category: |
[[Category:Animulz]] |
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[[Category:Old Shit]] |
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{{Comments}} |
{{Comments}} |
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