The Red Eye Ritual: Difference between revisions

First, smoke that dank kush. When that is done, proceed to step two, that is summoning the Baphomet with your Necronomicon. Oh yeah you need necronomicon too, find it on the libary or something, that was the seventh item shit man i'm sorry it was honest mistake fuck you   .

Once the baphomet is chilling with you, ask him to drink the blood of the ancient god. If you were succesful with the ritual, you'd laugh your ass off because he would be throwing up because the blood taste like shit :DDDDD but back to the ritual. Baphomet will send you to the hell to chill with satan, but be aware, Satan is not a nice guy. I played Mario Kart with him, and he cheated. Like who does that? He's literally the worst. But keep your calm, you dant want to make him apset, or he might not speak to you for 30 mins and you'd get bored. Ask satan to give you some of that sweet Purple Haze, that is so good you'll be send back to earth.  Now you can start the ritual. Smoke the spliff, and you'll notice that you have your cellphone in your hand. Now wait for 10 seconds and turn arounf 500 times. people will think you are losing your fucking mind and they'll call the fucking ambulance to pick you the fuck up. This is good, if you can't handle the weed and you get into a psychosis. Now, call snoop and ask him to hang and play some CTR. If everything is done correctly, you should see Snoop on your front door. Let him inside, but be aware that he might also be a cop and you would be fucked man. Ask Snoop for a hit from da bong, and if he gives you da hit, your eyes should be red. Now, to maintain your sanity, ask for some juice. He would say, "dude i got this Koolaid with me, but it doesnt taste sweet man, it needs the socrerer or something." That's why you need the sugar. Pour sugar to the juice and then drink it. Then you notice the empty feeling in your stomache. Eat the BiG Mac. Now you have done the ritual. To end the ritual, say you're gonna watch some SOG and that Mutahar is kinda fun guy, and Snoop would just say "fuck this life is too short" and run the fuck away. Proceed to watch Mutahar speaking about games and skellingtons and shit. You might think now that Mutahar is from the US, but dont be fooled. He is actually indian guy who lives in CANADA and is a shop keeper and shit I dont know what he does, youtube videos and shit i guess. I'm pretty sure he filmed some porn too but i dont have a fucking clue. 

You should be aware that there are some risks in this. If Satan is a douche, he might not give you da kush and you'll be like "daymn what the fuck satan I thought you were cool and you have to hang out with satan until your mom picks you up. If you are trying to call snoop but  Mutahar answers, you accidentally called Customers services and spooky skellies will be at your door in five minutes. If you failed this in any way, next time you search for "unspoopy skellies" you will find few pretty spooky skeletons. I warned you. My eyes are red now.... and I love it!