The Return of Shia Labeouf (the sequel to Actual Cannibal, Shia LaBeouf): Difference between revisions
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<poem> |
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You're driving down a road. |
You're driving down a road. |
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It's empty and dark, |
It's empty and dark, |
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But your phone is charged. |
But your phone is charged. |
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It's been about a year since you first fought him, |
It's been about a year since you first fought him, |
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Shia LaBeouf. |
Shia LaBeouf. |
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Your phone starts to ring |
Your phone starts to ring |
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You answer it, shaking. |
You answer it, shaking. |
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"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. |
"Hello?" you say, but there's no answer, just breath. |
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"I'm decapitated." |
"I'm decapitated." |
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Shia LaBeouf. |
Shia LaBeouf. |
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You get out of your car, |
You get out of your car, |
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A headless man appears. |
A headless man appears. |
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He's almost upon you now |
He's almost upon you now |
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And you can see he's holding his head! |
And you can see he's holding his head! |
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My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! |
My god, it's Shia LaBeouf! |
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Running for your life |
Running for your life |
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(From Shia LaBeouf) |
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(From Shia LaBeouf.) |
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He's putting on his head. |
He's putting on his head. |
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(It's Shia LaBeouf) |
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(It's Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Starting to give chase now |
Starting to give chase now |
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Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
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Living in the woods, |
Living in the woods, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Avenging his death, |
Avenging his death, |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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Trying to eat your body |
Trying to eat your body |
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Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. |
Actual cannibal, Shia LaBeouf. |
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It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, |
It's morning, and you seem to have lot him, |
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You go back into your car. |
You go back into your car. |
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You thought you killed that murderer, |
You thought you killed that murderer, |
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You drive silently through the countryside. |
You drive silently through the countryside. |
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A-ha! In the distance, |
A-ha! In the distance, |
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A small police station with a car in front. |
A small police station with a car in front. |
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Hope! |
Hope! |
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You drive stealthily toward it, |
You drive stealthily toward it, |
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But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! |
But you see inside! It's Shia LaBeouf! |
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Exiting your car, |
Exiting your car, |
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(Quiet, quiet) |
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(Quiet, quiet.) |
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Creeping toward the station, |
Creeping toward the station, |
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(Quiet, quiet) |
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(Quiet, quiet.) |
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Now you're on the doorstep, |
Now you're on the doorstep, |
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He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. |
He sees you outside, Shia LaBeouf. |
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Brandishing an axe, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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Brandishing an ax, |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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But you quickly dodge as he exits, |
But you quickly dodge as he exits, |
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(Shia LaBeouf) |
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(Shia LaBeouf.) |
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He's coming up behind you. |
He's coming up behind you. |
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Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
Strangled by superstar Shia LaBeouf. |
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Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, |
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf, |
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Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, |
Pulling a knife on Shia LaBeouf, |
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Stab it in his stomach. |
Stab it in his stomach. |
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Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. |
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf. |
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You limp back to your white car, |
You limp back to your white car, |
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Air flowing into your lungs. |
Air flowing into your lungs. |
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You have just won. |
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you have just won. |
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You have murdered Shia LaBeouf |
You have murdered Shia LaBeouf |
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Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! |
Wait! He isn't dead! Again, a Surprise! |
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There's an axe in his hands, and death in his eyes. |
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There's an ax in his hands, and death in his eyes. |
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But you still have your knife, now |
But you still have your knife, now |
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Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf |
Stabbing at superstar Shia LaBeouf |
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Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf |
Yet another fight with Shia LaBeouf |
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Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf |
Normal Monday morn' for Shia LaBeouf |
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You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf |
You try to cut the throat of Shia LaBeouf |
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But the axe is coming fast at your tired head |
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But the ax is coming fast at your tired head |
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You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left |
You dodge his every swipe, you parry to the left |
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He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest |
He counters to the right, you catch him in the chest |
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You're cutting out his heart now |
You're cutting out his heart now |
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You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf |
You have finally ended the life of Shia LaBeouf |
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His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless |
His heart beats weakly in you hand, just lifeless |
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You fall to your knees and catch your breath |
You fall to your knees and catch your breath |
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You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf |
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf |
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</poem> |
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[[Category:Retards Attempting Poetry]] |
[[Category:Retards Attempting Poetry]] |
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[[Category:Memes]] |
[[Category:Memes]] |