The Santa Theory: Difference between revisions
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depictions of Santa that we all know and love lurks a dark secret. It all began |
depictions of Santa that we all know and love lurks a dark secret. It all began |
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on the night before Christmas when I was eleven years old. I had plans to stay |
on the night before Christmas when I was eleven years old. I had plans to stay |
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up all night so I could meet Santa |
up all night so I could meet Santa Claus himself, so after my parents went to |
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sleep I came out into the living room. I situated myself on the couch by the |
sleep I came out into the living room. I situated myself on the couch by the |
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Christmas tree but quickly dozed off. I was woken back up when I heard the |
Christmas tree but quickly dozed off. I was woken back up when I heard the |
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sound of what I thought were bells got closer I could clearly make out that it |
sound of what I thought were bells got closer I could clearly make out that it |
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was not the sound of bells, but the sound of bones! I heard something at the |
was not the sound of bells, but the sound of bones! I heard something at the |
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front door and I knew it must be the |
front door and I knew it must be the Claus, but I feared for what that sound |
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was and what he would do when he saw me. Before I could react the door swung |
was and what he would do when he saw me. Before I could react the door swung |
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open and I saw the man of Christmas in his true form. Tall, pale, and dressed |
open and I saw the man of Christmas in his true form. Tall, pale, and dressed |
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in red, was the spookiest skeleton I had ever seen. It all made sense now. |
in red, was the spookiest skeleton I had ever seen. It all made sense now. |
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There was no way someone could deliver that many presents in one night and |
There was no way someone could deliver that many presents in one night and |
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still be alive. I snapped to my senses when Skeleton |
still be alive. I snapped to my senses when Skeleton Claus (that’s what I’m |
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calling him from now on) looked right at me! That’s when he let out a jolly “Ho |
calling him from now on) looked right at me! That’s when he let out a jolly “Ho |
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Ho Ho” which helped to ease the tension. We them got into a deep conversation |
Ho Ho” which helped to ease the tension. We them got into a deep conversation |
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about politics. When he realized the time, Skeleton |
about politics. When he realized the time, Skeleton Claus said he needed to be |
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heading out, so he unloaded the presents under the tree then walked over to the |
heading out, so he unloaded the presents under the tree then walked over to the |
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cookies. Skeleton Clause angrily yelled “WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME MILK”. At this |
cookies. Skeleton Clause angrily yelled “WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME MILK”. At this |
Revision as of 02:52, 16 December 2015
We all love our jolly fat man of Christmas, but behind the depictions of Santa that we all know and love lurks a dark secret. It all began on the night before Christmas when I was eleven years old. I had plans to stay up all night so I could meet Santa Claus himself, so after my parents went to sleep I came out into the living room. I situated myself on the couch by the Christmas tree but quickly dozed off. I was woken back up when I heard the sounds of what I thought to be jingling bells in the distance which I assumed to be Santa on his sleigh. Quickly, I made sure that there were cookies by the Christmas tree to please the fat man of Christmas on his arrival. But as the sound of what I thought were bells got closer I could clearly make out that it was not the sound of bells, but the sound of bones! I heard something at the front door and I knew it must be the Claus, but I feared for what that sound was and what he would do when he saw me. Before I could react the door swung open and I saw the man of Christmas in his true form. Tall, pale, and dressed in red, was the spookiest skeleton I had ever seen. It all made sense now. There was no way someone could deliver that many presents in one night and still be alive. I snapped to my senses when Skeleton Claus (that’s what I’m calling him from now on) looked right at me! That’s when he let out a jolly “Ho Ho Ho” which helped to ease the tension. We them got into a deep conversation about politics. When he realized the time, Skeleton Claus said he needed to be heading out, so he unloaded the presents under the tree then walked over to the cookies. Skeleton Clause angrily yelled “WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME MILK”. At this moment I knew I screwed up. Skeleton Clause then picked me up and ate me. So remember, always leave milk out on Christmas Eve or else you will end up like me.