The True and Terrifying Tale of The Hash Slinging Slasher

Years ago on this very wiki, there was a user called "The_Hash_Slinging_Slasher" who was a mediocre trollpasta writer - just like you - Only CLUMSIER. And then, one night, when he was making pastas ...it happened.

He cut his own dick off by mistake.

...AND IT DIDN'T GROW BACK!!

Then he replaced it with a stick of dynamite, which EXPLODED! AND AT HIS FUNERAL, THEY BANNED HIM!! So now, every......TUESDAY NIGHT, his ghost returns to the Trollpasta Wiki to wreak his horrible vengeance. But how will you know he's coming? WHERE ARE THE SIGNS? Well, lucky for you, there are four signs that signal his approach:

1. YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM THIS WIKI FOR ALL ETERNITY (EVEN IF YOU'RE AN ADMIN)
2. THE PHONE WILL RING, BUT NOBODY WILL BE THERE
3. THE_HASH_SLINGING_SLASHER WILL JUMP OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER AND CUT OFF YOUR PENUS!!1!1!!111 (IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PENUS HE WILL SET YOU ON FIRE AND MAKE YOU DO MATH PROBLEMS UNTIL YOU DIE FROM SMOKE INHALATION)
4. A SKELETON WILL POP OUT
5. Nosferatu