This is my first pasta and some feedbacks would very appreciated: Difference between revisions
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imported>Tiololo (Created page with "hello everyone this is my first creepy pasta and sum ffeeedback will be apreciated. i really want to get this published into a book so please suggest how i can improve pleas...") |
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Revision as of 16:13, 5 July 2014
hello everyone this is my first creepy pasta and sum ffeeedback will be apreciated. i really want to get this published into a book so please suggest how i can improve please.
tommy was in his house and on the toilet doing a shit and suddenly he felt somthign. it was like a very larg slimey monster was grab his hand so he felt very scared and he scream, his heart beat went fatser and then he started to cry. then he try to puull his hand away realise he was sit on it and the hand was full of shit
thank ver much, i appreciat your efofrts i know this pasta is very shit but please help me improve i will very grateful
