Triumphs of the Toppler, Vol. 2: Difference between revisions
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'''Hobo Heart vs The Toppler'''
Once, The Toppler was out for a drive to the gym, since there wasn’t much for him to punch at the moment. As he turned into a field, a dark figure jumped onto the car and smashed through the windshield. Quickly, in retaliation, the Toppler chucked him out of the window into a nearby tree. The creature picked up a large rock, because screw you, and tossed it through the Toppler’s windshield. ''Didn’t the windshield already get broken?'' thought the Toppler as the rock collided with him, crumbling to dust instantly, since nobody crushes the Toppler! He stepped out of the car, pretending he was Neo or something (which was difficult, since he was only wearing a jockstrap [not my idea]). The creature, which I guess is called Hobo Heart (it’s unrevealed in the story, I’m just grasping at straws), lunged at the Toppler, ready to tear out his heart. However, nobody mutilates the Toppler, so he was thankfully unscathed. "The last person who tried that,
'''The Real Chuck E Cheese vs The Toppler'''
One day, the Toppler was a bit low on cash, so the only place he could go to eat was Chuck E. Cheese. About 17 pizzas later, the Toppler felt as right as rain because nobody gives the Toppler Coronary Heart Disease! He then went to play on some arcade machines. One, which was called Hammerhead (though everyone knew it as "Shark-A-
"Well, that was… odd,
"You can’t just eat that thing,
'''Tails Doll vs The Toppler'''
Because the Toppler never has anything to do, he once decided to play the immortal racing classic with magnets in the walls, Sonic R. In fairness, he only had a Sega Saturn, so that gives him a better excuse than some people (Richard). Jokingly, he picked the Tails Doll (oh, we were laughing for days!), and won anyway, since no-one beats the Toppler at Sonic R! And then the Tails doll appeared. ''Don’t know what I expected'', thought the Toppler, before he ate the doll. But then another Tails doll appeared. "Didn’t I just eat you?
"No,
"Dammit, Thomas!
"I have intense powers gifted to me by the fans,
"You have fans?
"Right, that does it,
"I really should get a new console,
'''Teke Teke vs The Toppler'''
One time, the Toppler went to Japan because a) screw you, and b) he needed to go somewhere where he wouldn’t be judged for watching Dragonball. Once he got there, he needed to get a train to his hotel, but about 6 minutes into the journey, there was an odd teke-teke sound. "That sounds like someone running on their elbows,
"No it doesn’t, you imbecile!
"Ha!
"Nobody cares!
"Bugger,
"That doesn’t sound like something that the poundland equivalent of a decent Japanese myth would say,
'''Clockwork vs The Toppler'''
The Toppler decided to join back up with Ofsted because he was bored and had nothing better to do. His first assignment back on the job was "Walkerville Creative Arts College,
"Are you, perchance, Johnny Topples?
"Well, yeah,
"Yes! Now I can finally proclaim myself the greatest serial killer in the world!
"Agh! Mary-Sue origin stories!
"Traitor!
"You set me on fire, you jerk!
"You’ve saved my life,
"Yeah, sure,
"Fantastic,
'''Mecha-Jeff vs The Toppler'''
The Toppler and his new best friend, the stuffed giraffe (whom he'd taken to calling "
"Surprise!
"Well, it was hardly surprising, was it?
"Oh, go to kip!
"Well, what did you expect?
"Actually, no,
The Toppler leaped at Mecha-Jeff like Sheev, and ripped off his arms. "Hah!
"What? Coward! Come back and fight me!
"You have no arms! We win!
"Eh,
The end.
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