Triumphs of the Toppler, Vol. 2: Difference between revisions
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'''Hobo Heart vs The Toppler'''
Once, The Toppler was out for a drive to the gym, since there
'''The Real Chuck E Cheese vs The Toppler'''
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One day, the Toppler was a bit low on cash, so the only place he could go to eat was Chuck E. Cheese. About 17 pizzas later, the Toppler felt as right as rain because nobody gives the Toppler Coronary Heart Disease! He then went to play on some arcade machines. One, which was called Hammerhead (though everyone knew it as "Shark-A-Mole") caught his eye, and 20 shark-whacking minutes later, he'd somehow won 67890000 tickets , since nobody scams the Toppler! Take that, arcades! He was just about to spend the next 5 hours exchanging the mountain of tickets, which was so tall that Edmund Hillary came back from the dead just to say, "Bloody hell, I can't climb that!" Then he died again and somehow ''no-one noticed''.
"Well, that was… odd," said the Toppler, about to drag the tickets to the ticket thingy, when suddenly there was an awful yelling and crying, there was the noise of chains rattling and someone shouting. It came from a nearby door marked "staff only." Curious, the Toppler prepared to bust it down, but then he realised that it was unlocked. "Where the
"You
'''Tails Doll vs The Toppler'''
Because the Toppler never has anything to do, he once decided to play the immortal racing classic with magnets in the walls, Sonic R. In fairness, he only had a Sega Saturn, so that gives him a better excuse than some people (Richard). Jokingly, he picked the Tails Doll (oh, we were laughing for days!), and won anyway, since no-one beats the Toppler at Sonic R! And then the Tails doll appeared. ''
"No," replied THE DOLL. "That was just a prank by your neighbour."
"Dammit, Thomas!" yelled the Toppler out the window. He turned to the Tails Doll. "Wait,
"I have intense powers gifted to me by the fans," responded the completely un-intimidating creature.
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"You have fans?" cried the Toppler, jumping back in shock.
"Right, that does it," growled THE DOLL. It dived at the Toppler like Sheev, but missed completely because nobody… erm… Sheevs the Toppler! It fell out the window, but luckily, it landed on the ground. The doll produced a chainsaw from who knows where, and floated upwards. This was of course as scary as a marshmallow in a top hat, so the Toppler just laughed uncontrollably at it. "Stop laughing!" roared the doll, charging at the Toppler. It swung the chainsaw at his head, but the chainsaw crumpled against the
"I really should get a new console," said the Toppler.
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'''Teke Teke vs The Toppler'''
One time, the Toppler went to Japan because a) screw you, and b) he needed to go somewhere where he
"No it
"Ha!" said the first passenger triumphantly. "I knew it!"
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"Bugger," said the creature.
"That
'''Clockwork vs The Toppler'''
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"Traitor!" cried the girl known as Natalie.
"You set me on fire, you jerk!" yelled the giraffe. Wasting no time, the Toppler lunged at the girl known as Natalie, pushing her in front of a bus. After the bus and several cars had run her over, the Toppler picked up the girl and chucked her all the way around the world, and when she got back she slammed into the
"
"Yeah, sure," replied the giraffe. "I mean, my last owner set me on fire, and now
"Fantastic," said the Toppler, and the 2 of them went off to the pub to get incredibly drunk.
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'''Mecha-Jeff vs The Toppler'''
The Toppler and his new best friend, the stuffed giraffe (whom he'd taken to calling "Dave") were off to work at Ofsted one day, when suddenly a gigantic robot body appeared with Jeff's head mounted on it. Jeff's mace now had a large vertical scar where the Toppler had shoved a knife into it, and had written
"Surprise!" yelled Jeff, jumping out from behind a very large bush.
"Well, it was hardly surprising, was it?" said Dave. "We could hear you coming from a mile away with all the clanking you make as you walk. I
"Oh, go to kip!" said Jeff in his weird old voice, aiming a large blaster cannon which fired 123683200 missiles at the Toppler. The Toppler of course just shrugged them off, though, since nobody blows up the Toppler!
"Well, what did you expect?" asked the Toppler, walking menacingly towards Jeff. "
"Actually, no," replied Jeff. "Given my fish-like appearance, I have also developed the memory of a fish. In case you-what was the question again?"
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"You have no arms! We win!" shouted Dave.
"Eh," said Jeff, glancing at where his arms used to be. "
The end.
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