User:Handsome Jerk
[[File:Mlgyungvenuz.png|thumb|441x441px]]
Account is going to be active until 420 edits, where I will change my acc to Yung Venuz The Gun God.
DISREGARD THIS, I SUCK COCKS
THE PASTAS I MADE
- A Very FNaF2 Retard Pasta II: The Sequel Which Has Nothing to do with FNAF no
- A very FNaF2 retard pasta (feat. obscure references and plague doctors)
EVIL DOOKNOOKEMXXXXXXDeleted because cleanup.EVIL DOOKNOOKEMXXX III: DOOMGUY EXPLOADSEVIL DOOKNOOKEMXXX VS CAPTAIN BOREALEDeleted because cleanup.KASTL KRASHURZ: EVIL CORNTRIXXXXXDeleted because cleanup.THE MOST SKARRY PASTA EVARR!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!11!!!!!!11!!!!!Deleted because cleanup.HANDSOME JACKZ CUOTEE OF D000MDeleted because cleanup.AND THEN A GORDON FREEMAN POPPED OUT AND ATE A HEADCRAB ALIVE WHILE I WAS GETTING GROCIERIES OR SOME SHIT I WAS DRUGGED AND I DON'T REMEMBER SHIT K BYE- Gordon Freeman's and Guy's awesome adventure powered by ostensible amounts of Doritos and Mountain Dew It's done. Don't add an even more anticlimactic end, thanks.
- The Weeding of Isaac do whatever you want with this
- Dedan's Fap Adventure uh nope
SHITPASTAS I MOVED HERE
- Five Nights At Freddy's theory
- Five Nights at Freddy's The Secret Character
- The Origins of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza
- Five night's at torrents
- Five Nights at Freddy's 2.exe
-
- Remote, A Secret Society (not deleted, but methinks it´s super bad)
- Metal Gear Solid: Fight of Metal Gears
- GLITCH.exe.jpg
- Jack white:The other chapter
- Team Fortress 2
- Shattered Glass
- Snake.avi
- Ratchet and Clank 3: the Copy
- Pokemon Black, White, and Crimson
- Slendergotnoswag's holy grail of shit
- Such Words
- Bite of 1987 FNAF Theroy
So, apparently I made a game...
Save the text below in a notepad document and save it as a .bat file. Double-click on the .bat file to play.
@echo off
color 04
cls
@title [ABANDON: A horrifying adventure]
:disclaimer
echo [This game is a alpha release, and is VERY buggy. One of the bugs is that the second ending is impossible to achieve, but you can report bugs on the steam group page.]
pause
:plot
cls
echo [You wake up in a run-down house.]
echo [You straighten yourself to a sitting position.]
echo [On the table next to the bed you are sitting on, there is a flashlight, a salt bottle and a camera.]
:1st_problem
echo [What will you take?]
echo [The camera.]
echo [The salt bottle.]
echo [The flashlight.]
SET/P problem1=
if"%problem1%"=="1" then goto plot2
if"%problem1%"=="2" then goto plot9
ELSE goto 1st_selection
ds
:plot2
cls
echo [You flick on the flashlight, and it illuminates the room with a ghastly white glow.]
echo [The light reveals two doors, the one at the left is a ornate-looking oak door, the other is a partially scorched acacia door.]
:2nd_problem
echo [What door will you take?]
SET /P problem2=
if %problem2% equ left goto plot3
if %problem2% neq left goto plot4
ds
:plot3
cls
echo [You headed left.]
echo [A scent of mint fills your nostrils.]
echo [The mint scent is not a pleasant one, and you get a mild headache.]
echo [You look at the floor and find a trail of blood leading to the kitchen.]
:3nd_problem
echo [Will you follow the trail?]
SET /P problem3=
if %problem3% equ yes goto plot5
if %problem3% neq yes goto kill1
ds
:plot4
cls
echo [You headed right.]
echo [The door was barricaded, but due to it being scorched it was was brittle and easy to breach.]
echo [Most of the furniture in the hallway is burnt to ashes, except for a chair.]
echo [There is a note on the chair.]
:4th_problem
echo [Read it?]
SET/P problem4=
if %problem4% equ yes goto plot6
if %problem4% neq yes goto kill2
ds
:plot5
cls
echo [You headed towards the kitchen.]
echo [The kitchen smells like rotting flesh.]
echo [There is a door to the outside in the kitchen.]
echo [Open the door?]
SET /P yn=
if %yn% equ yes goto plot7
if %yn% neq yes goto kill3
ds
:plot6
cls
echo [The note reads....]
echo ["I cannot take this anymore. He is after me, and driving me insane. My sanity is on the verge of breaking."]
echo ["So, because I do not want anyone else to suffer, I will just.... end myself. Goodbye, cruel world."]
echo [You put down the letter and see a hanging corpse on the roof.]
echo [The bathroom door opened.]
echo [Go to the bathroom?]
SET /P yn=
if %yn% equ no goto jokeplot
if %yn% equ yes goto plot8
ds
:plot7
cls
echo [You went outside.]
echo [You find your car, fiddle with the keys a bit and then went into the vehicle.]
echo [You leave the house behind, and you drive home like normal, but with a new story to tell.]
echo [THE END]
pause
goto credits
ds
:credits
cls
echo [Credits:]
echo [Programmed by Handsome Jerk]
echo [Go visit the Pootis games official group page on steam!]
pause
exit
ds
:kill1
cls
echo [Something ap--]
echo [....]
echo [YOU DIED]
pause
exit
ds
:kill2
cls
echo [Something app---]
echo [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHHHHHH!!!!!]
echo [...]
echo [YOU DIED]
pause
exit
ds
:kill3
cls
echo [What?]
echo [A mysterious noise came from behind....]
echo [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]
echo [YOU DIED]
pause
exit
ds
:jokeplot
color 70
cls
echo [Suddenly, EVIL PATRIXXXIZZLE appearizzle behind you 'n says, "I know a way out".]
echo [You follow EVIL PATRIXX to a rainbow-colorizzled door made outta vidya game cases.]
echo [You open the door, and BAM! There is a party with GabeN inside tha giant room made out of game cases.]
echo [GabeN gives you a beta copy of Half-Life 3.]
echo [EVIL PATRIXXX shows you tha way home and gives you a free PC.]
echo [Ya drive home safely in tha Trollpastamobizzle.]
pause
:jokecredits
cls
echo [THA ENDIZZLE]
echo [Programmed by Handsome Jerk.]
echo [Visit the Trollpasta wiki today!]
echo [This was the joke ending.]
echo [I hope you enjoyed!]
pause
exit
ds
:plot8
echo [COMING SOON IN PATCH 1.3!]
pause
exit
ds
:plot9
cls
echo [You pick up the old camera. The flash works as a stronger makeshift flashlight.]
echo [The light reveals two doors, the one at the left is a ornate-looking oak door, the other is a partially scorched acacia door.]
pause
goto plot10
ds
:plot10
cls
echo [COMING SOON IN PATCH 1.3!]
pause
exit
