Vladimir Putin and Ivan Drago the Machoke: Difference between revisions
Vladimir Putin and Ivan Drago the Machoke (view source)
Revision as of 10:53, 17 June 2021
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This is the story of how they first met. It is predicted that he would have found this Machoke that he names Ivan Drago in the freezing expanses of Siberia, while he was hunting great bears with only a musket and a flask of Vodka. Luckily, when he was out hunting, he would have brought along a healthy supply of Pokeballs and rocks throw if he were to find a Pokemon upon chance. Putin would have a whole array of Pokeballs at the Kremlin on display. Great Balls, Ultra Balls, Net Balls, Nest Balls, Premier Balls, Dark Balls, Quick Balls, Timer Balls; just about every kind of Pokeball you can imagine. (He also used to have a Master Ball, but he suspected that the bitch that ran Du du Deutchland stole it when she last came to suck off his dick. He was always suspicious of her, but gosh darn, she did give a fine blow!) He also had copies of gym-badges from all around the Pokemon regions, and he proudly displayed all of this. After hours of exploring, he finally happened upon a wild and vicious creature while crawling through some tall, frost-bitten grass.
Could it be a wild Ursaring? A carnivorous Beartic? No. It was a normal, hostile bear. He got ready to attack, but something else happened. Putin heard the mystifying melody of gruffness, a Pokemon's voice! "MAAA-CHOKE!" it roared. Out of nowhere, a huge, purple fist punched the bear away, sending it flying through the air and into the horizon, much like how Team Rocket in the Pokemon Anime would "Blast-off". It disappeared into the horizon with a twinkle, and a final roar- which Putin thought was saying: "
[[File:Putin and machoke wtf.png|center|300px|Putin and Ivan's first hug - and definitely not the last!]]
The beast kneeled down next to Putin, and enclosed him in a loving embrace- as if it was a parent protecting its child. Putin was surprised by the wild-
Putin gulped, and held out the Pokeball in front of the Machoke. The
Once he was back in Moscow, Putin clapped his hands for five minutes, and ran like an excited child back to the Kremlin. He immediately took out the Pokeball containing Machoke. He leisurely tossed the ball into the air, causing Machoke to be sent out. "MACHOKE!" it roared. It was happy to be with Putin. Putin looked up at the creature, and decided upon a name for it. It came from the hit movie series, Rocky Balboa. He decided to name the Pokemon after a Russian boxer in one of the movies- Ivan Drago. Yes- it fit perfectly! He named him Ivan Drago on the spot. They embraced again, as the Machoke was happy with its new name. Putin was so enthusiastic, that he wanted to start training him that instant...
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[[File:Barack and dragonite.jpg|thumb|300px|Barack Obama and his Award-Winning Dragonite.|center]]
It was getting late however, and it was almost time to go to sleep. And the President of Russia needs his sleep if he wants to make sure the country runs in tip-top shape, right? They Trainer and Pokemon retired to
[[File:Kimmy and croagunk.jpg|thumb|300px|Kim Jong Un and his Croagunk.|center]]
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On the contrary, Ivan dreamed of riding on a ferris wheel with his newfound master, in the summer sun at a fun carnival. However, this dream suddenly turned into a nightmare when Ivan remembered that he had a terrible fear of heights! As the ferris wheel he and his master rode on climbed higher and higher, Ivan felt his bladder loosen. He began to urinate in his dream at a frightening pace due to his fears, and his urine began to fill up the ferris wheel cart they were in. As the urine level rose higher and higher, it spilled out of the cart and caused it to start tipping over. It continued tipping until Ivan, Putin, and their popcorn fell out of the cart and through the air.
The shock caused Ivan to awake in a hurry, only to find that he had soiled his undergarments in real life as well as his dream. His trademark Machoke briefs and champion belt had to come off. The Pokemon reluctantly removed these articles of clothing from his body, and the now-naked Machoke returned to the bed next to Vladimir Putin. He hoped that he
He remembered how comforting the atmosphere of a Pokeball was, but as far as he could tell, there were none around. It was then that he spotted a round, spherical shape in the darkness next to him. "Could it be?" the Machoke thought. Perhaps it could…Even though Pokemon were exposed to Pokeballs all the time, they still
Putin turned on the lights, head dripping with sweat and urine, and looked right at the startled Ivan. The Russian President screamed in horror when he saw Ivan the Machoke standing there, stark naked with his bulging muscles and flaccid purple cock. The sight was so horrifying, that Vladimir jumped out of bed, and ran off to lock himself in his hunting closet. Embarrassed and ashamed, Ivan gathered his urine-soaked clothes, and made a break for the bedroom door.
The assistants told him that Ivan had run away from the Kremlin, and that a squad of Spetzsnaz was out looking for him. Feeling guilty for this incident, Putin stayed awake all that night. He had just caught that wonderful Machoke, and he was even about to train him, too! In the morning, he vowed to make the situation between him and Ivan right once more. It was then, that Spetzsnaz officials informed Vladimir of
THE END...?
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