Winnie the Murderer: Difference between revisions

So, this is my story. I’d advise not reading too much into it.

 

 

So, I was 13 when this all happened. Yes, I know, “thirteen is an unlucky number”, blah blah blah, shut up. It’s the facts, plain and simple. What, am I supposed to say I was 14? Because I wasn’t.

 

I threw the laptop across the room. It broke, making an odd staticky noise as it shattered. Which laptops aren’t generally supposed to do when thrown, but whatever.

 

Two days later, I was drinking more tea (see above paragraph) when my cat attacked my leg. This was a daily assurance, but today’s attack seemed to have more urgency in it. I pushed her off of my leg and stood up. “What is it, ca-“ I didn’t get a chance to finish, as I was promptly bonked on the head and fell over unconscious. Pretty embarrassing.

 

The man fainted. I dropped him, picked out my IV, and jammed it in the artery on his neck. As I left the room, using his keycard to exit, I flipped him the bird.

 

Outside the lab was incredibly dark. There were various baddies in bright labs shut off from the hallway by doors and occasionally bars. I peered into a few of them. One housed a doll that looked suspiciously like Chucky; another housed what looked like a person, but made of shadows and with bright red eyes. The third housed a bunch of cats that were attacking each other. I swiped the keycard on that door, opening it. The cats swarmed out, going around me as I watched them. They promptly killed some guy (who’d come to check on the fact that the door that said ‘DO NOT OPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES’ had been opened), stole his keycard, and opened every other door that could be opened. An alarm sounded, and dozens of lab workers stormed into the hallway.

 

I opened the door, and promptly ran out the exit.

 

Flash forward another two days. The thing from door 666 had followed me, and turned out to be….a cat. A black cat with green eyes, in fact. And abnormally long claws. Of course, I couldn’t talk. I’d recently found out that the ‘trash goo’ gave me heightened hearing…and that’s literally it, besides turning my eyes blood-red. It caused heads to turn, that’s for sure.

 

“So, we break in, shoot or disembowel everyone, and run out?” I asked. The cat, whom I’d christened Christessa, nodded. We bumped fists - or paws -and headed out.

 

That about brings us up to now. Everyone in that lab is dead, and all the test subjects freed.

 

Still, I better give you a warning. Don’t look behind you. It doesn’t matter if there’s a wall behind you, death is coming. You cannot escape it. You’re next.

 

(No seriously. It’s coming.)

 

(I’M SERIOUS.)

 

'''MURDER SPREE CONTINUES - 100 DEAD'''

 

In case you didn't realize this, this is a purposefully bad pasta.

[[Category:Satire]]

[[Category:Pointless Violence]]

[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]

[[Category:YOU'RE NEXT]]

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