"Monkey dick"
I used to be a skeptic, but it really happened
So i got a new computer and i went to play minecraft on it and a new update appeared so i click yes and it installing version 1.666 and i shit my pant now i click the play button and it open main menu and i go to singleplayer and new world appear "DO_NOT_PLAY"
and like stupid man i play it and then i saw it was like my normal world so i go to the big house and i see scary herobrine in there, he say "Give me diamond and i say "Fuck you" and then he fly away
Then scary message appeared saying EVIL PATRIXXX join the game and herobrine come back and i shit my pant again and then also they destroy my house and i destroy computer and i go to sleep and thinking it is over but then the computer back alive and minecraft is open at 100 % volume and i go to play again and i see they are destroying my house and there was fucking blood everywhere and they taked the villagers and they kill and blood appear and minecraft crash, but new file appear in desktop called DONOTOPEN.exe
But i opened the file and then gps activated and then a game called NoEscape opened, it was hyper realistic mario 64 and then my nintendo 64 turned on and in the corner of my eye i saw it said with bloody text NO ESCAPE and then i jump out the window and ran, i ran 9 hours to the airport and flew to mexico, but it was my worst mistake ever because there was in the plane a cd that said EViL2014 and i brought it with me and put it in the xbox 360 and then a game opened called EViL 2014, i played a little, it was very scary with jumpscare and scary dark room and baldi and granny and sonic.exe and jeff the killer and then a gun appear and i headshot everyone and i win it
Then i got a call from "banana cock somalia" it said to search on google "Monkey horsecock 9 movie download" and i watched it, the movie was 34 minutes long and in it a dead donkey crossed the street its meat ended up in a pastry, but the baker was secretly pikachu and then siren head entered the bakery and there was fucking blood everywhere and a monkey appeared and they had an epic duel with siren head and the monkey pulled out a knife and cut siren head's balls off and choked him with them, then the baker exploded into electricity and the entire city's power went out and the monkey was hungry so it ate the pastry but it turns out the donkey had superpowers and it revived itself and the meat was replaced with cheese, then an angry bosnian fatass noticed that the pastry in question was burek, he shouted BUREK!! and ate the entire thing in 0,1 seconds
Then the movie ended and i received another call from banana cock somalia asking if i wanted to watch tom and jerry lost episode and i said yes then he said go to sleep and i say no and i smash the phone with hammer but its indestructible and hammer broke and then he call again and said that i will receive a cd in 1 minute and i did and i put it in my dvd player and it started playing tom and jerry and then the dvd player crashed and it ejected the cd but the cd had cum on it and a guy jumped out of it and screamed YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS A DVD PLAYER BUT IT WAS ME, DIO and i said fuck you and hit him with a spoon and he died, then i farted and jumped out the window, stole a car and drove into the sunset.
But i reached the ocean and i saw a bridge and it said DO NOT CROSS but i am strong so i did and i saw a van and it said free sonic and i got in and there was 4g and i found a hard drive and i put in the computer and there was a folder called games and i opened it and inside was a file called Sonic.Sucks.Baby.Powder.With.His.Ass.MULTI12+9DLCs.exe and i opened it and there was a video of sonic sucking baby powder with his ass, then i shit my pants and i ran away and flew to syria and found an abandoned house with ps2 on it and i played it and then the tv was hacked and herobrine pop up and say DONT LOOK BEHIND YOU and i look behind me and i see him and i shit myself
Then he started spinning and i asked him how he found me and he said that the NoEscape.exe game turned on gps, wtf, i didnt even take my computer with me, he said that nato told him where i am, then i ate a can of pork and beans and farted so hard i flew to brussels and i fucked the nato boss and then a tree fell on my head and i died, but i had not died, i had fallen into a coma, and i woke up and spingebill and SQUIDWARXXX were chanting "Monkey dick" i shit out a brick and hit them and they died and their last words were c̸̲̗̻͚͈͙͇̓̆͘͜ ǒ͓͗̓͛̽̅̆͡ r̸̨̝͕̲͕̤̼ n̴̢̡̨̨̧̯͙̪̲̯̖̹͎̘
Written by Vbman16
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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