1337
'The year is 1337'
This brings me back to my senior MLG class when i was only 666 years old, where we used to praise faze every day. The year 1337 exists as a stain in my pants MIND, as a memory that will not go away, no matter how hard I try to forget it. 1337 marks thee year i perrformed my first 360 no-scope, My first time drinking mountain dew, and unfortunately, the early loss of my left arm.
That one memory that refuses to be wiped, it all started with that new (or old) intervention sniper rifle. When no-scoping was a massive craze, i always loved no-scoping suckas on the street, no-scoping was amazing. Everyone at my school enjoyed no-scoping. No-scoping the game, AKA call of duty, no scoping the TV program, no scoping the board game, but most popular, no scoping the game. The problem was that No-scoping the game came on at 666 pm, and YOUR MUM My dad watched watched the Illuminati at Illuminati o' clock, which meant I had to miss a game every day, something I bitched continually on and on about and didn't let my dad sleep over it, because I was so pissed off. My dad got tired of me going on and on about it all the time, so he went and bought another T.V.
It was just a piece of shit computer moniter with a mountain dew bottle and an empty doritos packet for reception. My dad put it in my room. It also couldn't load up No-Scope the game, or even No-scope the T.V. program at that. I didn't care though. I was just so thrilled that I had my own television in my own room. After searching through the channels, I realised only channel 666 was worth watching (666 T.V). It wasn't for a few months I found channel 01189998819991197253. I used the remote to find channels, and I tuned in to channel 01189998819991197253. My dad was suprised too, but he let me watch it 'cos it seemed to 'av kids programs on. The channel was called Ferring local 01189998819991197253. I did indeed find out that it was broadcasted in Ferring, England, a town very close to my hobble.
The show on Ferring local 01189998819991197253 looked poorly made, and I never understood wot wus going on in them 3/4 of the time, however as I grew up, I realised how fucked up the shows were.
The following is a list of shows I remember seeing on Ferring local oh christ do i have to type this out again? how I remember all this shit at all is freaks me the fuck out. There were only 666 shows I could find on the channel, because it only broadcasted from 666 o' clock to illuminati o' clock2. Of course I won't go over all of it, because it would kill my hands typing all that shit out.
April 1337
Pussay: episode 666. I recall there was a show called Pussay, where the actors where just feet, no puppets or anything. The show featured a foot called Pussay who found himself in a new position every episode. The show was only 666 minutes long, and look like it was shot in front of your mum. This was the first episode I watched. It began with Pussay trying to open a jar of mayonnaise. It actually showed him PATRIXXX and shrek beating the jar for a good 1337 minutes. Then, EVL KERMIXXX came on screen and said 'Together!' while rainbows popped on screen. Then, they both started beating the bottle until it broke open and ejaculated mayonnaise all over the table. I remember laughing my ass off at this point, and having to go to hospital due to lack of Oxygen.
Mr Horse's attic: Episode 360: Yeah, Very fucking weird name by today's standards. The program featured a guy wearing a rubber horse mask who would get a new visitor every day, Because kids just walk into attics nowadays for some reason. The show was filmed with a second generation I pad. The Coppas asked me a lot about this show. This episode started with Mr bear playing No-Scope: The game!™. I didn't see notice at first, but the mum in the attic was the same one from Pussay. He sat there playing for a bit, until there was a knock on the ladder. 2 young children came in.
Mr Horse™ Break danced in delight and then started talking to the kids; I couldn't hear that well because my ears were still recovering from the fact that I went unconscious due to lack of oxygen about 20 mins ago, not because He had a horse mask on. I cant remember much, apart from the only light in the room was a lava lamp, and he started Singing the song monsters by matchbook romance™ but I couldn't hear it at all, but I new he was singing it Because I am magic like that.
May 1337
Dog shit and Fork™: I'm pretty sure this wasn't even a show, It was more of a half an hour shitheap of a kids show™, and I stopped watching this piece of crap channel that i'm not going to type the name of because it kills my fucking hands. I dont remember much of this, but I remember there was dog shit, fire and a fork, With the dog shit and fire™ both being on strings. Like I say I said but I never did, I don't remember this show very well, the only thing I remember is the end. The end showed your mum, the same one from Pussay, with kids sitting around it. Each with an NES in front of them. They were sitting and looking at the camera, each with terrified looks. The cameraman held multiple copies of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde™ and said ' Ready to play this Shitload of fuck?' and then it just stopped.
July 1337
Winter is coming. and I hadn't watched channel 01189998819991197253. Until 666 day when I slept over at Your Mums my friends howse. I decided to check it out again. My fried had gotten a T.V. in his room for his six hudreth and sixty sixth birthday, so we stayed up very late ( for us, illuminati o'clock was very late) and watched T.V. Thats when I remembered channel 01189998819991197253 and bought it up to my friend. we checked to see if it wus on, and it fucking was!
Mr Horses attic™ - Episode 666: This episode was fucking hilarious for my friend and I 'cos it had swearing in. But when I look back at it now, I realise something was definetly wrong when it was made. The episode starts with the Ipad on its side, and it isn't changing camera rotation. It wus Facing Mr. Horse, who walked over to the ladder to the attic. There was also a kid talking to him, but he looked about 666 or 667.
He was talking to Mr Horse for a while, but I coudn't hear well ( again, with the I pad ) until the kid started raising his voice. The kid was saying how it was late, and he and his sister needed to get home soon. and you could hear more voices in the background. I remember Mister Horse™ clearly saying "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH" with a deep voice. The kid banshee sprinted to the ladder and said he was gonna call the coppas. Mr Horse began Galloping towards him, then the episode ended.
Pussay - Episode 720 - Playing with Bare Circuit boards. One relativly sunny afternoon, I was bored and decided to tune in to channel 01189998819991197253. When I started watching, some show about some guy in an armchair was just finishing, it was called big brother or some shit. When I first saw the episode, I thought it was for teen's as it contained bare circuit boards. When the coppas told me everything, I new who the blood had belonged to. The episode showed Pussay and EVL PATRIXXX. Booby was holding a bare circuit board.
Another foot shot on the scene. Literally, there was a loud bang and a flash and it arrived on scene. It was jerking violently as if someone under your mum was forcing it. "Bare circuit boards are very dangerous kids!, so hold them safely!" he started lacerating the smaller foot with the brass nubs soldered to that green deth machine. I turned it off and never discussed it with my dad 'cos i thought he would conviscate my bare circuit boards.
August 1337
I didn't want to watch that channel after that episode of Pussay. But, in August I grew curious about Mr Horse's attic. When my dad was busy, I flicked on channel 01189998819991197253.
Mr Bears cellar - Episode 360: Apparently this episode was on for all of eternity. It was just Mr Horse doing a review on action 52 and at the end saying "If you want to come round to my attic and play the only multiplayer game on this shitheap, send me a letter!"
The following image popped up and remaind there for the rest of the episode
So dya know what? I sent 'Mr horse' a postcard. and I got a response. The responce read
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH OOORRRHHH ORH RHO OHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRO OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHRRRRR OHHHERRR OHHHHRRRRR
'666 hells drive, hell, north korea' "
Love Mr Horse
i can't beleive your mum never found this sketchy. Thats went the copas came involved.
This brings me to why I am parodying one of the greatest creepypastas ever, because I got bored in my holiday....
