9001 Nights at Freddy Fazbear's Paradise of Pingas Pizza, An Autobiographical Memoir (AKA FNAF 5) Director's Cut: The Final Shreckoning: Game of the Year Edition: Hot Sauce included: Difference between revisions
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== The New Job == |
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== The New Job == One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and I lived in a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new resturant. It was called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the resturant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well! [[File:Fazbeer.jpg|thumb|287px|Freddy Fazbear]] ==Night 1== I arrived on time and put on my fabulous security uniform. I then heard a ringing noise coming from a phone on the desk. The man on the phone told me that I had to us an IPad to watch over the ten animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Katty Kat, Pappy the Potato, Sanic teh Hedgehoge, Doge, Dolan the Duck, and Balloon Bitch. I thought it would be easy enough untill Freddy moved from the stage to the kitchen. I thought it was a glitch, but then Bonnie then walked over to Katty Kat. They then went into the Pirate's Cove, being hidden behind the curtain. I heard a pirate-like voice saying "Shiver Me Timbers!" and a lot of clanging noises. I wanted to investigate but then [[File:DOLAN.jpg|thumb|left|Legit Screeenshot of Dolan]]Pappy walked into the woman's bathroom, even though he was a man! I thought to myself "Oh No... Not One Of THESE Jobs". Dolan moved to the dining area, looked into the camera, and said "UR NEXT 2 B RAPED". Dolan rushed down the hall, but I closed the door right on time! The alarm clock on the desk sounded, ending my shift, and I ran out the door crying like a baby. ==Night 2 == [[File:SanicXfoxy.jpg|thumb|220x220px|The legit picture of Foxy and Sanic]] I went to my job, shivering, and I was 2 minutes late. Before I could worry about being fired for being late, the phone rang. The man said that I did a good job and that the animatronics would be harder tonight. I dunno if he ment that they would be more active, or more horny. I then saw on the screen Sanic running around in circles. He kept on saying "GOTTA GO FAST!" and playing a dubstep remix of the Sonic X theme song on an IPhone 7. Foxy then went up to Sanic and started running in circles with him. I rolled my eyes and changed the cameras, seeing Freddy staring at me. He said "Hai." and then did a funny dance. I then saw Pappy the Potato sneaking back into the woman's bathroom, smiling in a creepy way. I then tried to look in the women's bathroom to see what was going on, but I was interrupted by an ERROR message sayng " Dude, that is just perverted." I got bored, so I played Flappy Bird on the IPad. But, suddenly, Chica looked at me through the window. She screamed "LOVE ME" and tried to get in to the room, but I replied "Oh HEEEEELL NAH!" and shut the door. The alarm clock then sounded, and I left, ending the second night. == Night 3 == [[File:Backroom.jpg|thumb|300x300px|Bonnie, Freddy, and Endoskeleton doing spooky scary skeleton dance legit footage]] I arrived at my job at 11:57 PM, and I put on my clothes and sat down. The phone guy told me some "good news": they had 2 new animatronics! They were Shreky the Ogre and Turdy the Turtle. After hearing this, I immediately saw something odd. Doge got up and walked to the kitchen, coming out with a slice of pizza. Chica yelled "PIZAAAA!" and started eating the pizza.Doge slapped her and said "Bitch Plz." and put on a pair of sunglasses. Katty Kat then seduced Doge and stole his pizza, making Doge angry. Suddenly, Sanic came out of nowhere and 360 noscopes freddy, blowing an airhorn at the same time. It was now then that Pappy snuck into the ladies bathroom. Foxy then attempted to scratch his bat, only for it to be scratched by Shreky. Shreky the screamed "OGRES HAVE LAYERS TOO!" and had a seizure. Turdy then fell asleep on the stage, only to be farted on by Bonnie. When Turdy did not wake up, Bonnie yelled "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!" and jumped into the backroom. I looked into the backroom, only to see Golden Freddy, Bonnie, and an Endoskeleton doing the spooky scary skeletons dance! The alarm clock rang and I left, yelling "2SPOOKY4ME!" |
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One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and I lived in a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new resturant. It was called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the resturant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well! |
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[[File:Fazbeer.jpg|thumb|287px|Freddy Fazbear]] |
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== Night 1 == |
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I arrived on time and put on my fabulous security uniform. I then heard a ringing noise coming from a phone on the desk. The man on the phone told me that I had to us an IPad to watch over the ten animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Katty Kat, Pappy the Potato, Sanic teh Hedgehoge, Doge, Dolan the Duck, and Balloon Bitch. I thought it would be easy enough untill Freddy moved from the stage to the kitchen. I thought it was a glitch, but then Bonnie then walked over to Katty Kat. They then went into the Pirate's Cove, being hidden behind the curtain. I heard a pirate-like voice saying "Shiver Me Timbers!" and a lot of clanging noises. I wanted to investigate but then |
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[[File:DOLAN.jpg|thumb|left|Legit Screeenshot of Dolan]]Pappy walked into the woman's bathroom, even though he was a man! I thought to myself "Oh No... Not One Of THESE Jobs". Dolan moved to the dining area, looked into the camera, and said "UR NEXT 2 B RAPED". Dolan rushed down the hall, but I closed the door right on time! The alarm clock on the desk sounded, ending my shift, and I ran out the door crying like a baby. [[File:SanicXfoxy.jpg|thumb|220x220px|The legit picture of Foxy and Sanic]] |
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== Night 2 == |
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I went to my job, shivering, and I was 2 minutes late. Before I could worry about being fired for being late, the phone rang. The man said that I did a good job and that the animatronics would be harder tonight. I dunno if he ment that they would be more active, or more horny. I then saw on the screen Sanic running around in circles. He kept on saying "GOTTA GO FAST!" and playing a dubstep remix of the Sonic X theme song on an IPhone 7. Foxy then went up to Sanic and started running in circles with him. I rolled my eyes and changed the cameras, seeing Freddy staring at me. He said "Hai." and then did a funny dance. I then saw Pappy the Potato sneaking back into the woman's bathroom, smiling in a creepy way. I then tried to look in the women's bathroom to see what was going on, but I was interrupted by an ERROR message sayng " Dude, that is just perverted." I got bored, so I played Flappy Bird on the IPad. But, suddenly, Chica looked at me through the window. She screamed "LOVE ME" and tried to get in to the room, but I replied "Oh HEEEEELL NAH!" and shut the door. The alarm clock then sounded, and I left, ending the second night. |
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== Night 3 == |
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[[File:Backroom.jpg|thumb|300x300px|Bonnie, Freddy, and Endoskeleton doing spooky scary skeleton dance legit footage]] I arrived at my job at 11:57 PM, and I put on my clothes and sat down. The phone guy told me some "good news": they had 2 new animatronics! They were Shreky the Ogre and Turdy the Turtle. After hearing this, I immediately saw something odd. Doge got up and walked to the kitchen, coming out with a slice of pizza. Chica yelled "PIZAAAA!" and started eating the pizza.Doge slapped her and said "Bitch Plz." and put on a pair of sunglasses. Katty Kat then seduced Doge and stole his pizza, making Doge angry. Suddenly, Sanic came out of nowhere and 360 noscopes freddy, blowing an airhorn at the same time. It was now then that Pappy snuck into the ladies bathroom. Foxy then attempted to scratch his bat, only for it to be scratched by Shreky. Shreky the screamed "OGRES HAVE LAYERS TOO!" and had a seizure. Turdy then fell asleep on the stage, only to be farted on by Bonnie. When Turdy did not wake up, Bonnie yelled "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!" and jumped into the backroom. I looked into the backroom, only to see Golden Freddy, Bonnie, and an Endoskeleton doing the spooky scary skeletons dance! The alarm clock rang and I left, yelling "2SPOOKY4ME!" |
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[[Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG]] |
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[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]] |
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Revision as of 01:09, 18 January 2015
The New Job
One day I, Timmy McJimmy, was looking for a job. I had only two cents and I lived in a box that was twelve inches tall on a street corner in Da Hood. In a newspaper I found on the ground, I saw a Help Wanted ad for a new resturant. It was called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Paradise. I yelled "OH SHNAZZ!" and ran all the way to the resturant. Luckily, the ad featured the address: 69 2Spooky avenue.I was very happy when they immediately let me have a job because I was homeless. They gave me night watch, even though I wanted to thaw frozen pizza under a heat lamp in the kitchen. They told me to be at work at 12 AM, which I kinda hated but, oh well!
Night 1
I arrived on time and put on my fabulous security uniform. I then heard a ringing noise coming from a phone on the desk. The man on the phone told me that I had to us an IPad to watch over the ten animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, Katty Kat, Pappy the Potato, Sanic teh Hedgehoge, Doge, Dolan the Duck, and Balloon Bitch. I thought it would be easy enough untill Freddy moved from the stage to the kitchen. I thought it was a glitch, but then Bonnie then walked over to Katty Kat. They then went into the Pirate's Cove, being hidden behind the curtain. I heard a pirate-like voice saying "Shiver Me Timbers!" and a lot of clanging noises. I wanted to investigate but then
Pappy walked into the woman's bathroom, even though he was a man! I thought to myself "Oh No... Not One Of THESE Jobs". Dolan moved to the dining area, looked into the camera, and said "UR NEXT 2 B RAPED". Dolan rushed down the hall, but I closed the door right on time! The alarm clock on the desk sounded, ending my shift, and I ran out the door crying like a baby.
Night 2
I went to my job, shivering, and I was 2 minutes late. Before I could worry about being fired for being late, the phone rang. The man said that I did a good job and that the animatronics would be harder tonight. I dunno if he ment that they would be more active, or more horny. I then saw on the screen Sanic running around in circles. He kept on saying "GOTTA GO FAST!" and playing a dubstep remix of the Sonic X theme song on an IPhone 7. Foxy then went up to Sanic and started running in circles with him. I rolled my eyes and changed the cameras, seeing Freddy staring at me. He said "Hai." and then did a funny dance. I then saw Pappy the Potato sneaking back into the woman's bathroom, smiling in a creepy way. I then tried to look in the women's bathroom to see what was going on, but I was interrupted by an ERROR message sayng " Dude, that is just perverted." I got bored, so I played Flappy Bird on the IPad. But, suddenly, Chica looked at me through the window. She screamed "LOVE ME" and tried to get in to the room, but I replied "Oh HEEEEELL NAH!" and shut the door. The alarm clock then sounded, and I left, ending the second night.
Night 3
I arrived at my job at 11:57 PM, and I put on my clothes and sat down. The phone guy told me some "good news": they had 2 new animatronics! They were Shreky the Ogre and Turdy the Turtle. After hearing this, I immediately saw something odd. Doge got up and walked to the kitchen, coming out with a slice of pizza. Chica yelled "PIZAAAA!" and started eating the pizza.Doge slapped her and said "Bitch Plz." and put on a pair of sunglasses. Katty Kat then seduced Doge and stole his pizza, making Doge angry. Suddenly, Sanic came out of nowhere and 360 noscopes freddy, blowing an airhorn at the same time. It was now then that Pappy snuck into the ladies bathroom. Foxy then attempted to scratch his bat, only for it to be scratched by Shreky. Shreky the screamed "OGRES HAVE LAYERS TOO!" and had a seizure. Turdy then fell asleep on the stage, only to be farted on by Bonnie. When Turdy did not wake up, Bonnie yelled "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!" and jumped into the backroom. I looked into the backroom, only to see Golden Freddy, Bonnie, and an Endoskeleton doing the spooky scary skeletons dance! The alarm clock rang and I left, yelling "2SPOOKY4ME!"
