A Lengthy, Frightening Defecation

You may find credibility in the following anecdote, or you may not, but it is factual. On a particular day, I consumed an overly-abundant quantity of Gallus gallus domesticus from Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I got diarrhea, and I defecated enough to cover the flooring with feces, and I quickly proceeded to the toilet, which filled up, so I went to the other lavatory. Suddenly, the feces transformed from a liquid state to a solid state, and it proclaimed "I had an internship at" but before it could finish, I flushed it down, and Jeffrey the Assassin came out of my anus and assassinated me. I am undecided if I will ever view feces in the manner which I did before this happening ever again. A haunted video game cartridge was inside my Nintendo Dual Screen called "Super Mario Fecesshine", and Mariobenjamin was possessing it, and he gained telepathic control of my colon. One hundred and twenty hours after the happening, I had completed the game, and I proceeded to the doctor. He removed a spirit of a deceased person from my gluteus maximus, and the Tails Doll came out, too. The doctor proclaimed that my anus was free of sunshine. Three hundred seconds after his proclamation, I expired due to gluteal cancer. Then, a human skeletal structure, which was the doctor's dummy, appeared.

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