A Pimp Named SlickBack

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Mr bean.png   NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Hello, my name is Crystal. I am 23 years old. Just 2 days ago, I almost was killed by my former pimp in an alternate universe. This is my special story.

At age 22, I married a 55 year old grandfather. His name was Robert Witherspoon. He also had an adorable cat named Simon for me to love. And Simon loved me back. Even though I had lots of dates on BlackPeopleMeet.com, I thought that Robert would be the only man on the site who would treat me nicely. After we got married, I told him I was currently a whore belonging to a pimp named GreaseLegs. (And I would be retiring from this job in 2 weeks.) I used to belong to a pimp named SlickBack, before he got run over by a Toyota and died. The big problem that starts here is that I wanted a baby from my true love, and even though I told him I abort every baby from when I do my job, he couldn't grasp that I had slept with lots of men. He still loved me, but he told me that he was old and that he did not ever want to have sex in our marriage. I was depressed ever since in our relationship. He tried to calm me, but he failed in his many attempts. I wanted a divorce inside, but I knew I couldn't afford it. One day, while I was crying on my Tempur Pedic bed with Simon at my side, I noticed a somewhat familiar and very faint voice coming from a loose brick in the house walls. It sounded like SlickBack. I never explored it, but the gap was so big that I could crawl through it. The voice said:


I stopped crying and looked at the gap. Simon sniffed the left edge of the brick.


I slowly crept over to the gap. There was a light purple glow in it now.

"Crystal, come in the hole, baby..."

I removed the huge brick from the walls. There was a big, light purple tunnel in the walls, with cobwebs and pipes outside of the mysterious tunnel. I knelt down to go in the tunnel.

"We're gonna have fun, Crystal..."

Simon nudged at my leg not to go any farther, But I was curious. I did need to have some fun at the moment. It was a long tunnel to go through for such a small house. When I got to the end of the tunnel, I was surprised to see that the end of the tunnel led to a place that looked exactly like Robert's house where I was currently living. In fact, it WAS Robert's house.I was very confused, but then I realized that we were out of groceries and yelled for Robert to get some groceries at Trader Joe's. There was no reply. The house was quiet. But my room was the same as it was on the other side of the tunnel. I stepped out of my room to here a faint sound of rap music playing downstairs, my favorite music genre. When I went downstairs, I was shocked to see SlickBack in my living room, looking exactly the same way on the day that he died. When he saw me, he said:

"Crystal! There's my star attraction! How are you? I haven't seen you in a month!"

My mouth gaped open at the sight of SlickBack. I said:

"SlickBack? How are you still alive? You were killed a month ago in a car accident!"

SlickBack replied: "You just found the SlickBack universe, baby! And in my world, no friend doesn't go back to reality sad."

SlickBack clapped his hands three times, and three of my former, fellow whores showed up beside him. Their names were Bling, Cash, and Cent. Ever since SlickBack died in the real world, all three of them went missing. SlickBack ordered them to please me to their highest extent. They went into the house's other rooms for a while and came back with delicious food, CD's of wonderful rap music, and a massage chair. Bling fed the food I wanted into my mouth, Cash obeyed me every time I wanted a new rap song to be played, and Cent massaged my body to my liking. I was in heaven. Even though he loved me, Robert never did anything like this to me. While I was being pampered, I saw Simon enter the room. He gave me an evil look before SlickBack shooed him away. Simon never did anything like that to me. I was about to follow Simon when SlickBack asked me if I wanted anything else to make me completely happy. I asked for a man to have sex with, and SlickBack clapped his hands three more times and three gorgeous black men came to my side. They acted as nice as Robert acted to me, but they wanted to have sex with me. They were called Cleveland, Martin, and Victor. I chose Victor to have sex with.

I know I slept with tons of men, but my sex between me and Victor was the best sex I ever had. His penis slipped so well into my vagina. Sperm ejaculation levels were just right. And his body was so smooth and warm. After my wonderful sex with Victor, I was putting my clothes back on when I just caught Simon peeking into the bedroom. He vanished with a slight mumbling sound into the hallway. I checked on the time in the bedroom clock. It was very late. I wished SlickBack and the others farewell and went back through the tunnel in my bedroom to get ready for going to sleep. When I got to the tunnel's other side, I made sure it was my world:

Me: "Robert, can we have sex tonight?"

Robert: "No."

I fell asleep 4 hours past my normal bedtime.

The next morning, I told Robert to get some groceries at Trader Joe's while I pretended to head towards downtown in my car to go to work. When Robert was out of sight, I returned to the house and, after snuggling with Simon, went back through the tunnel to the SlickBack universe. I met SlickBack in the living room and he greeted me:

"What's up, my baby child? Did you want to relax again? I got all of relaxation's necessities ready and waiting for you, Crystal girl!"

I was pampered by Cleveland, Martin, Victor, Bling, Cash, and Cent for the day, and it seemed like a better pampering than yesterday. I saw Simon pass by me in the room again, glancing at me for a while before SlickBack whipped Simon's butt with his belt. SlickBack told me to pay no attention to Simon. He said that he did not know how to eliminate him from the SlickBack universe yet. I wanted to see what Simon was doing, as it seemed that whenever he left my sight, he went outside of the house into the backyard, which was a giant, beautiful garden. I asked to be excused from my pampering to use the bathroom, and SlickBack excused me. When I escaped his view, I went out in the backyard and immediately followed Simon. I tried to sneak up on him, but he heard me and turned around. He looked at me and then uttered a sentence in perfect English:

"You don't really believe that SlickBack is actually a good friend to you, right?"

I fainted and fell on the patio for only a little while. When I came to, Simon was standing beside me.

Me: "You can TALK now?"

Simon: "It's the SlickBack universe, of course I can talk. He took so many illegal drugs in the real world that he thought his goldfish told him to become a pimp. He was high when that Toyota killed him."

Me: "You don't know anything about SlickBack. The news said that a drunk, Greek guy named Stelio Kontos hit him when he was crossing the street legally!"

Simon: "I sadly know more than you think in this universe."

Simon told me to follow him through the backyard. We ended up in the house's cellar, only accessible from the backyard. I turned on the lights to the dark and cold room. Simon led me to where the food pantry used to be in the real world. But in the SlickBack universe, there were only 6 jars at the back of the room, and each was very moist and cold. Simon told me to stand away from the jars so that he could bring the objects in them alive. I told him that there was nothing in them except for some cold moisture, but he told me to watch and see.

Simon: "Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!!!"

The 6 jars started to rumble and kept rumbling faster and faster until they stopped suddenly. 6 ghosts popped out of the 6 jars.

The 6 ghosts were Bling, Cash, Cent, Cleveland, Martin, and Victor.

When the ghosts were released from their jars, I at first was confused and terrified.


Simon: "They're all the real spirits of the bodies you see pampering you. Their bodies, now controlled by SlickBack were killed and then hypnotized to become slaves to SlickBack."

Me: "So these used to be real people that visited the SlickBack universe and are now trapped here forever?"

Simon: "Exactly."

Me: "Cash, I'm so happy to finally see you again knowing you aren't missing, but how did you end up here along with Cent and Bling?"

Cash: "I know what happened in the real world, friend. The exact same problem you're facing with Robert happened to me, Bling and Cent. Although a little earlier, if you catch my drift."

I rolled my eyes at Cash.

Cent: "Leave as soon as possible, but whatever you do, don't look straight into the emerald necklace."

Me: "But you guys are, I mean were, my best friends."

Bling: "When we were hypnotized, we all still had our cell phones on us, meaning the cell phone got transformed into a ghost too. Bottom line, we can still call and text you from beyond the grave."

Me: "Woah. That's mind blowing and good to know! Now, who are you three gentlemen? Martin, Victor and Cleveland I heard?"

Martin: "Yeah, you got our names right. I'm Martin, to your left is Cleveland, and to your right is Victor."

Cleveland: "Party over here!"

Victor: "Wat up."

Martin: "We as a trio used to be three of SlickBack's best customers. Now that I see you, I remember banging you as a special gift for every holiday in 2012. I never had sex with just anyone on holidays."

Me: "Man, I've had sex with so many people that I don't even remember you."

Cleveland: "When we all got married, we met at a local bar and said that we wanted the whore banging life back. One day at Victor's house, we found the tunnel to the SlickBack universe and came here. The rest is self explanatory, blah blah blah, we looked into the emerald necklace, blah blah blah, he hypnotized our bodies, blah blah blah."

Victor: "Just so you know, if I could punch you, I would. That sex you had with my zombie-like body was terrible. You didn't even do the Log Jammer correctly!"

Me: "Yeah, I'm quitting my job as a whore for GreaseLegs in about 2 weeks. I have gotten a little off since I started, plus I think Robert would be more comfortable around me."

Cent: "You're quitting the pimp business? Good for you! I personally thought being a whore was horrible."

Cleveland: "STOP. SAYING. THAT!"

Cent: "Why?"

Cleveland: "I told you a million times. You were the first whore I ever banged! When you say that, it makes me feel bad."

Cent: "You thing Crystal is doing the Log Jammer wrong now, you should have seen me when I first became a whore."

Cleveland: "I hate you so much."

Simon: "Crystal, you better listen to Cent and get the hell out of this shithole of a universe before SlickBack makes you a ghost."

Me: "You're right, Simon. I love and I'll miss you all!"

Simon and the 6 ghosts waved good-bye to me as I walked back into the house to go back through the tunnel to reality. When I entered the kitchen, though, SlickBack wanted to see me at a big dining table. I took a seat nervously as Cleveland, Martin, Victor, Cent, Cash and Bling's bodies silently watched me with a slight hypnotic swirl visible in their eyes. SlickBack said to me:

"Crystal, me and your 6 friends just LOVE your company over the past few days. As a reward for hanging out in my fabulous universe, I want to give you an expensive and beautiful gift. The entire piece was hand made by the best jewelery makers in this universe, carefully put together to truly show off your rich status. Open it up, it will look gorgeous on you, child!"

I opened up the package. It was a necklace that had a giant, natural emerald in the middle.

SlickBack: "That emerald's a beauty, ain't it, babycakes? If you look straight into it, you can see the clearest reflection you've ever seen of yourself!"

Me: "It's a wonderful gift. I'll just leave it here and when I return tomorrow, I'll keep it and wear it forever."

SlickBack: "Oh, I don't think that there will be a tomorrow for you. I spied on a little kitty who told you the secret of my universe, and you're not getting away."

SlickBack pointed to Simon's dying body on the kitchen floor. It looked like he had just been stabbed to death.

SlickBack: "His body's fresher than a Subway sandwich right now. Mmm, a fresh kill. Would you like Whole Wheat or Italian bread with that? Oh, wait, we're out of Italian bread at the moment. You'll have to get Herbs And Cheese bread."

Me: "You're a psychopath!"

SlickBack: "Look into the emerald on your necklace and I promise that Simon will come back to life."

Simon: "Don't...Crys...tal..."

Me: "I'll never join your army of slaves!"

SlickBack: "Don't you DARE disobey your master!"

Me: "You're not my master anymore."

SlickBack: "Seize Crystal, slaves!"

SlickBack's slaves ran towards me in my seat. I jumped out of the seat and ran for the stairs, but Victor pinned me to the ground and the others ripped at my expensive clothes, tearing them to shreds until I only had my bra and my panty hoes on. I fought all the slaves off of my body, eventually killing each. Blood was left all around the house. SlickBack ran towards me with all of his strength and tried to hypnotize me, but I didn't look at the necklace and ran up the stairs to my room. The tunnel was still there. I climbed in the tunnel quickly, but SlickBack grabbed my legs with force and tried to pull be back into his universe, but I clawed in the tunnel until I just got into my universe. I noticed an open knife in my room, so I stabbed one of SlickBack's arms. He let go of my legs for a second, and then I quickly moved the huge loose brick over the tunnel. SlickBack was trapped in his own universe now. The gap lost its light purple color and everything went back to normal. The wall was even restored so that the tunnel could never be opened again.

Just then, Robert came into the room and was asking about all the noise. I told him that it was a long, weird story, but I broke out into tears near the end of my sentence. He asked what was wrong, and I told him that the origin of this weird story was that he would never bring me a true son. He knelt down on one knee and told me the only obstacle in the way was the fact that I was a whore, but he still loved me. I told him that I was going to quit my current job tomorrow, and that if I did, I wanted to have sex with him tomorrow. He agreed to have sex and smiled at me.

It was the best sex I ever had.

Comments • 0
Loading comments...