An Edgy Story

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This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Chapter 0I woke up this morning. I felt like shit. I looked at an image of my enemy, whose name is Furbearingbrick. He deleted my all-caps, Pokemon and SCP crossover pasta. He sucks. I wake up every morning by shooting at the image of Furbearing brick with my laser pistol. Bam. Today I hit it right in between the eyes.

Chapter 2That is my special superpower. I can slow down time to align up shots. I also fly, turn into a demon, and hypnotise people to have sex with me. I also play the melodica. So anyway I went into the living room and oh god it was horrible.

Chapter 3Disembodied faces all over the wall. There was a man in a hoodie who was cutting up family. I tried to stop him and I saw his face... It was so verreh skerreh. I slowed down time and shot up the guy like a dozen times and he died. I ran to my parents and they were dead. I screamed so loud it broke all the windows in the universe because of my super conic scream powers. I had no choice but to get revenge. I looked in the guys coatpocket and found a card for "Evil Thug Incorperated" with an adress so I went there.

Chapter 4I went to the adress and there was a bouncer. Simple to beat. He tried to stop me. I wonder what he would have done if he figured out how strong I was. In fact, I was a member of the Sue Caste, a group of people with exponential powers. Unfortunatly a horrible beast ate them all. It was horrible and I was the only survivor. It was my tragic past. Nobody knows about it to this date, except right now.

Chapter 5Then suddenly I realized the horrible beast was actually the shadow monster from before! Consumed with rage I flung the bouncer back and made him explode with my powers. Stupid bouncer.

Chapter 6Then I ran into the bar, slowed down time, and shot everyone up. Another stupid bouncer tried to grab me from behind but I killed him. Then suddenly a guy in a giant suit ran up and... all I remember is black.

Chapter 7I woke up in a torture chamber. There was a guy about to kill me. He was gonna run a meat shaver under my nuts which don't actually exist because I am too awesome for nuts. So I was about to get killed by the meat shaver after 5 hours of this when I remembered I could turn into a demon! So I did that and broke the restraints and  shoved the guy in the torture chamber and his nuts got shaved off. Then I freed all the other people from the torture chamber including emma watson who I had sex with for the rest of eternity.

Chapter 8

OOC: THIS STORY ISNT DONE. Okay? I just need to take a break because I'm not some kind of fucking gamer who can write a story in one sitting. I will just take a rest for a short while and this story is NOT. DONE. CHECK BACK IN LIKE A MINUTE OR SO AND IT WILL PROBABLY BE DONE. 


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